Q & A: Volleyball National Champion MVP Christal Engle

In this Master Your Mindset Q & A series, you’ll read interviews from top performers who have inspired me in various sports. I selected individuals who were able to maximize every ounce of talent to do the extraordinary. Their ability to overcome adversity, consistently compete at a high level, and be an outstanding teammate are why they were chosen. Use their answers and experiences to help take your game to a higher level, as well as to gain perspective.

Christal (Morrison) Engle

• Professional beach volleyball player

• 2005 NCAA National Champion, University of Washington

• 2005 NCAA National Championship MVP

• Four-time All-American

CH: What is your proudest accomplishment as an athlete?

CE: Winning the Division I Women's Volleyball NCAA 2005 National Championship was by far my proudest accomplishment as an athlete. It was such an amazing journey to get to that point, and the moment you realize that your team had just accomplished what we had set out to do is a feeling that very few can experience...it is indescribable.

CH: What's the most important lesson you learned as an athlete that you have carried over into life? Please explain.

CE: BALANCE. This is the main part of my personal philosophy. As an athlete there are so many things we are expected to do. The ONLY time that I felt like I was performing at my best in all of the areas I was expected to was because I was living a balanced life. I believe that performance is hindered when you are only focused on one area of your life, but if you find a healthy balance between spiritual, emotional, and physical things, you will become the best YOU!

CH: Who was your role model? What did they teach you?

CE: I really looked up to my head coach at UW, Jim McLaughlin. He was not only a coach, but a mentor and a teacher. He understood that not every athlete should be coached exactly the same. Some athletes react positively to getting yelled at, and some athletes react very poorly to getting yelled at. He knew exactly how to get the best out of every individual on the team. He was also extremely focused and dedicated to the ultimate goal (the national championship) and his approach and preparation every day ultimately got us to that point multiple times.

CH: What was your favorite failure? What did you learn, and how did you overcome?

CE: I think as I progressed in my career and decided to go play beach volleyball professionally, that entire decision made me feel like a failure. As soon as I stepped on the sand I felt like I had never played the game of volleyball before. The beach game is so incredibly different from the indoor game, and I went from being very successful at indoor, to being at the bottom of the pool with beach.

It took a few years before I was able to feel like I belonged, and it took all of my energy and time to get to that point. I learned that when you put yourself out there, move a few thousand miles away from home, and try to do something that very few can do…it is daunting and scary but it is so worth it. It is worth every up and down along the way.

CH: Describe a moment when you were in a flow state (a.k.a., “in the zone”). What did it feel like?

CE: I remember playing April Ross and Jen Kessy at the Salt Lake City AVP Open. Jen and April had just won the silver medal in the London Olympics and were the best team in the world. My partner and I had put together two big wins before reaching them in the quarter finals, and I remember feeling like I couldn't do anything wrong. I remember feeling like I was in the right place at the right time, every time and making the perfect "reads" on everything. It wasn't until after we had won the match that I realized I was in a flow state and it was so fun to feel that level of performance especially against the best team in the world.

CH: What routines did you consistently perform during the day of competition to get yourself ready to play?

CE: Routines, rituals or habits…whatever you want to call them are essential to success. I had routines throughout my entire day. From the order of how I did things in the morning, to what I ate for lunch, and how I put on my gear for practice. The most important routine I performed to prepare for competition was my warm-up. It was EXACTLY the same EVERY time. My warm-up routine calmed my thoughts, and made even the biggest games feel like it was just another match.

CH: How often would you feel pressure and stressed? Where there any triggers?

CE: I always got butterflies before a game, whether it was a pre-season game or the Pac-12 Championship. I think the biggest trigger for stress was unforced errors I made. I had to learn how to get my heart rate back down and focus ONLY on what I could control and nothing else around me (as strange as that sounds with a team sport).

CH: Explain what your self-talk and internal dialogue was like after you made a mistake.

CE: I always brought it back to a process of what needed to happen and only focus on the first thing. In volleyball you can't do anything unless you pass the ball first. I also hyper-focused on my mechanics. I think focusing on how your body is moving rather than the outcome ultimately helps in the long run. I would talk myself through my mechanics over and over and over.

CH: What would you do to increase your confidence?

CE: I hate to say this, but I would say things to myself like, "Serve me the ball again b---h, because I'm the mother f-----g best passer in this gym" (ha ha). I never let it be known or vocalized it, but I performed at my best when I thought I was the best. 

CH: What was your why? What drove you to be a top performer?

CE: For me it was all about improvement. How good could I be? With our system at UW, everything we did was quantitated, so I knew exactly what level I was performing at. It was so incredibly fun for me to try and improve my numbers every day and reach specific percentages in practice. Every facet of the game was in itself another game for me. I was addicted to getting better.

CH: If you could go back in time, what advice would you give your younger self?

CE: I would tell my younger self to enjoy the journey a little bit more. I don't think I understood "balance" until after I made the move to beach volleyball. Although it takes so much sacrifice and focused energy to become the best, I also think that living a balanced life is key for success.

Thank you for reading! To gain more insights and tools to win the inner-game, Master Your Mindset the book is launching on June 23. PRE-ORDER HERE and receive a free video on Self-Confidence 101 and an e-book for coaches and parents called Positive Parenting. 

Pre-order Master Your Mindset and the Flow Journal today and take your mental game to the next level! Link HERE: MYM PRE-ORDER

Master Your Mindset Podcast

Hey guys! I am so excited to announce that I’m launching a new podcast, with my buddy Tanner Pierce, called MASTER YOUR MINDSET: Tools to Win the Inner-Game. This podcast was inspired by the small group meetings I have with many athletes, where we talk about mental conditioning and essential life skills.

After a recent meeting, one of my stellar pupils, Tanner, said “Collin, other people need to learn these concepts too. We should teach others about the power of the mind and do a podcast.”

I said, “Yo, Tanner, that’s an amazing idea. Let’s do it!“  I’ve recorded a few other podcast episodes on my own in the past, but I have never gotten into the groove to record consistently on my own.  I’m excited to have a co-host and producer with me, to offer a different perspective to help you along your journey of being your best self. 

We have already recorded two shows, and our goal is to record and published two episodes a week. Our vision is to record each episode to be around 6 - 12 minutes long...quick and easy listens, but packed with useful content.

There are so many resources vying for attention, and we wanted to package a podcasts in a way that is impactful but easy to digest as well 

Please listen, follow, leave a comment, and share this with other people. 

We would love your feedback too, so let us know what you think!

The body has limits, but the mind is limitless!

What are you doing to take your mental game and life to the next level? Here is a great tool to get started.

 iTunes Podcast Link

Pre-Order Collin’s new book Master Your Mindset here

I HOPE YOU DANCE

I’m a grown man who is married. I have 4 children. I work in corporate America, and I dance everyday. 

Do you? 

I love to dance. Always have, always will. I took two years of ballet classes as a kid and I grew up not just going to my mom’s arobics classes, but DOING her classes weekly. Music and movement run through me. I can’t live without them both.

Whether alone, with my kids, or in a group, dancing is where I feel most authentic and happy.

But that is not the point. 

The point is this: dancing is my favorite personal expression of creativity and vulnerability. For me, rhythmic movement is a metaphor for stepping onto the dance floor of life and taking a chance. Dancing reminds me to go for it...to live...to take risks...to MOVE!

What about you? Do you take calculated risks? Or do you stay off to the side, frozen...playing it safe? 

If I’d listen to conventional wisdom and social norms, I wouldn’t post videos of me dancing. But that is the main reason I’m doing it. This is an exercise of me not giving a F$@% and sharing who I truly am with no apology.

What I love about dancing is that its an expression of confidence and limitless creativity. There are no rules, just endless possibilities.  

Are you expressing yourself as who you truly are? Are you stepping into the middle of the circle, closing your eyes, and letting it rip? Or are you second guessing...living with a fearful cautiousness or obsessing over the opinions of others? 

Live with no regrets. In life or the dance floor, my hope is that you grab a partner, take a deep breathe, stop playing it safe, and dance. 

Collin Henderson is a consultant, author, and speaker in the field of High Performance. 

KIDS AND STRESS

What do you do when you see your child get nervous and stressed?

Are you equipped to a) Identify when they are having nervous thoughts and feelings, and b) Do you have the right tools to help?

Many parents might sometimes say statements like, “Oh your fine,” or “It’s no big deal.”

As parents, we need to have a better plan than this.

Having four children ages five and under, Kendra and I are working on our “Mr. Worry” Tool Kit. We have noticed that our five-year-old son Baylor deals with Mr. Worry weekly, and his younger sister Bellamy had a “worry episode” at preschool last week that sparked Kendra and I to research strategies to help them. 

Kids and Stress

According to the 2015 Child Mind Institute Children's Mental Health Report, looking at children and teens, “Anxiety and depression are treatable, but 80 percent of kids with a diagnosable anxiety disorder and 60 percent of kids with diagnosable depression are not getting treatment.”

Anxiety disorders affect 1 in 8 children. Research shows that untreated children with anxiety disorders are at higher risk to perform poorly in school, miss out on important social experiences, and engage in substance abuse (Anxiety and Depression Association of America).

Anxiety is even more prevalent in teens. According to Scott Goldman, a licensed psychologist with the  Sports Science Institute, “Nearly one in three adolescents in the United States (31.9 percent) meet criteria for an anxiety disorder. Of those, half begin experiencing their anxiety disorder by age 6.”

What can you do? 

Below are four strategies that we have used to help our children quiet Mr. Worry.  

Acknowledge the fear

Fear breeds off of isolation. Instead of down playing your child’s worry, acknowledge it and sympthize with their feelings. No one should worry or win alone. Normalize their anxieties.

For example, when Baylor says he is “going to miss mommy” while at school – instead of telling him, “there’s nothing to worry about” – say, “I know bud, mommy is going to miss you too...I don’t like to be away from you either.” The lesson is that sometimes we have to do hard things, but if we can acknowledge the source, and work through it together, we will be better able to cope and overcome. 

Expose them to concepts and strategies that speak their language  

I love education and personal development. Knowledge is power at any age. That is why Kendra and I expose our children to educational material that they enjoy. We love shows like Magical School Bus and Daniel Tiger, where there is always a practical lesson that grows their knowledge or gives them a tool to use in real-life situations. (“Use your words...use your words”). 

Other great resources we have seen be effective are books:

• Wilma Jean the Worry Machine
•  I’m Not a Scaredy Cat 
• Parent Pep Talks: The Mental Skills Your Child Must Have to Succeed in School, Sports, and Life (great for teens)

And the guided meditation called the Worry Bus, which we play for them at night before they go to sleep. These helpful mental lessons have inspired these wise comments from our children:

• Bellamy told me yesterday, “Daddy, worries are just in my brain...they are not outside or real.” 
• Baylor said recently, “Mom, when I go to school today, I’m going to leave my worries in my backpack and hang them up outside my classroom...I won’t bring them in with me.”

Insert me doing an ugly cry here. 

We can learn so much from children. These statements made me so proud. We also play gratitude games where we share what makes us happy or excited each day. We call these games Happy Breakfast and Happy Dinner. These rituals infuse optimism and thankfulness each day. It’s been said that gratitude is the antidote to worry and fear, thus we make this a daily practice. 

Empower them to work through their fear  

One thing we’ve learned to be effective is to equip our children with solutions or steps to deal with their worries. Instead of allowing the fear to grow and build by letting our irrational brain take over (we call these ANTs: automatic negative thoughts), we have taught them to run through a checklist to help calm their nerves. Below is a checklist for Baylor when he is worried about going to school:

• Have you applied your brave oil (Baylor has a Valor essential oil roller)? 
• Will Bella be at school with you? Yes. 
• Momma is here and will be back in just a few hours.
• Do you have something to give Ms. Mary (Baylor loves to give his teacher a little treat or small gift)?
• Is there anybody sick in your class?...no (Baylor has a fear of getting sick...after a bad norovirus episode last year). 
• Who do you want to play with at recess? 

Being a high performance coach, I believe in the power of self-talk. What we say to ourselves is 10 times more powerful than what anyone else can say to us...even with children. Knowing this, preemptively come up with what performance psychologists call an “If-then” plan...as in you already have a plan “if this happens (what causes worry), then I’ll do this.” 

What areas in your life or child’s life do you need to come up with an If-then Checklist when Mr. Worry pops up?

Utilize professionals when necessary 

Kendra and I have an unfair advantage in this space. Kendra’s mother has a master’s degree in social work and is a licensed counselor. My dad has a PhD in psychology and is a clinical child psychologist. We have a village of mental health support to help us through our journey. You might not have this level of expertise at your immediate disposal. However, I’d encourage you to work with a professional when appropriate. Whether you seek counseling services through your child’s school, your local church, or through a private therapist, mental health is just as important as physical health. 

There is no shame in seeking guidance and support in this area of your child’s development.  

———————-

Kendra and I definitely do not have all the answers and we have our fair share of ups and downs with attitude, not listening, and worry tears. However, we have committed to being proactive with our children’s mental health and have seen first hand the benefits.

What strategies have been successful in your parenting journey? Please share. It truly does take a village and let’s help raise the next generation to have self-awareness, humility, courage, and tools to deal with Mr. Worry. These skillsets will have a huge impact on them now, when they are teens, and adults as well. 

Collin has authored the personal development books Project Rise and the Rise Journal. Click here to learn key habits to become the best version of you. 

5 KILLERS OF PEAK PERFORMANCE

Your biggest competition to achieving your goals are not external forces. They lie within you. The Greek philosopher, Plato, once said, “The first and greatest victory is over self.”

A lack of self-awareness and self-sabotaging behaviors hinder execution a great deal more then from forces outside of one’s internal control.

Based on my research in human performance...as well as reflecting on my athletic and business career, below is my list of the top 5 killers of peak performance.

1. EXTERNAL EXPECTATIONS

The highest achievers from Kobe to Oprah have an insane inner-drive that is intrinsic, not extrinsic. If you are performing to please someone, receive validation, or are seeking external accolades...your journey toward excellence will be short lived.

External Expectations = Internal Stress

Ask yourself, “What do I want?” and “Why am I doing this?”

If those answers guide you down a path that doesn’t lead you to your deepest desires and passion from within, its time to reassess your internal motivation.

2. FEAR OF OUTCOMES

The best things in life do not happen in the past or future, but in the present moment. A big hindrance and block of accessing a flow state (being in the zone) is obsessing over outcomes. I believe anticipation is a huge element of high performance, but if the focus is outcome based versus process based (key habits and techniques), you will increase anxiety and stress. You will play the “What-if” game and run through made-up scenarios that you have no control over (ex: What will they think or how will I look?).

Also the number one killer of creativity is fear of failure. How can you shift your emotional state to be more in the now? If you can have the mental command to ask yourself: “What’s Important Now (WIN)?” You will be more likely to not only own the moment, but WIN the moment.

3. LACK OF CONSISTENT ROUTINES

Have you identified specific habits that you must execute regularly during your preparation and execution phases? Developing rituals that aid your performance are a hallmark of consistent high achievement. I’m not talking about obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) type behaviors, I’m talking about mental and physical routines that are specific to your ability that activate focus and rhythm. 

If you do not have a specific process customized for yourself, and you just “wing it,” it will be very hard to duplicate or scale your success. Also, developing consistent  routines will help bring you a level of comfort leading up to and during moments when it’s time to perform. Finally, having systems in place helps avoid decision fatigue, where you avoid wasting mental energy making trivial decisions.

If you’ve done it right, you’ll focus on the process and not the pressure...and you’ll be able to perform as your true authentic self...and not a shell of yourself who is either overcome by fear or a lack of preparation.

4. OVER FOCUS OF SELF

Think about your most stressful moments during times of performance. You most likely were obsessing and over thinking about you. To access a flow state, there is an exit of self. Understanding your vision, core values, and objectives are one thing, but if you compete with the mentality that “all eyes are on me,” it will be very difficult to relax and perform free of tension and tightness. 

Listen, don’t flatter yourself, people are more caught up in their own image and outcomes versus worrying about every move you make or word you say. Practice stepping outside of yourself and put yourself in someone else’s shoes. It’s not all about you. A simple way to help lower stress is to train your brain and heart to deeply care about others...and think about your audience and say, “I love you, but I don’t care what you think.”

My other favorite strategy to exit self, is to serve others and be an exceptional teammate, coworker, or classmate (which ever performance field you are in). Service to others reduces stress and releases the happy chemicals dopamine and serotonin.

5. DISTRACTIONS

Have you identified common distractions that pull your focus or energy away from completing your objectives? I call this 3PD or the 3 P’s of Distraction:

• People – What people in your life (friends, teammates, or family) knock you off your game with requests, negativity, or lack of support? Try to identify the people in your circle that either add unwanted stress or behave in ways that hinder your performance.

• Phone – In today’s world, our smart phones are an extension of our selves. Apps, social media, texts, and emails constantly vie for our attention. Identify the main functions in your phone that slow down your production. How can you limit these performance detractors?

• Procrastination – What do you hate doing or avoid? The chains of procrastination are slow to form, but develop a tight hold that impedes execution. These patterns of procrastination keep us from not only performing at our best, but stunt our ability to improve. If you can do what goal expert Brian Tracy calls, eat the frog early (as in, do what you don’t want to do first), you will free yourself up to completing more tasks and unlocking more creativity.

Do a self assessment. Grab a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. On the left side of the page, identify the biggest distractions that hinder your performance. On the right side, come up with a plan to counter or substitute more productive behaviors when these distractors pop-up.

If you know the answers to a test, your ability to study and come up with a plan to execute vastly increase. This list above is similar. Master your self-awareness and address these challenges. Grade yourself and share with a friend. If you can overcome these performance killers, you’ll be happier and more successful. Good luck!

Collin Henderson is a High Performance Consultant in the fields of business and athletics.

A STORY OF SELF-IMAGE

Eric was not doing very well. This junior in high school was barely getting by with his grades. He hated school and several of his teachers did not believe that he would even graduate. While in class, Eric barely paid attention, and he would spend more time being the class clown than listening and doing his school work.

After seeing his first semester report card that junior year, Eric told his mom, “I’m just not very smart. I don’t think that I’m cut out to go to college.” He added, “The SATs are coming up, but what’s the use of even taking them?”

Eric’s mom was very supportive and encouraged his son to give the SATs a shot. “You have nothing to lose,” she told him. “There may be some colleges you can get into, but you’ll never know your capabilities if you do not at least take that test.”

“OK mom, OK, I’ll take the test,” he said begrudgingly. The next day Eric signed up.

A month went by and with no surprise, Eric hadn’t studied at all. He showed up to take the SAT and felt that it was hard, but that he did know some of the answers. There were many tough questions though, which he tried to cheat, but everyone’s test around him looked different than his. He did his best to at least write down an answer and not leave one blank. When Eric finished, he turned his test in with a sigh of relief and said, “I’m glad that’s over.”

Several months went by and Eric’s behavior started to get even worse. He went to detention for fighting after school and he was even failing his chemistry class. Eric’s mom was stressed worrying about her boy when an envelope arrived in the mail. It was the results of his SAT test. After school that day they opened it together not expecting much.

Anticipating the worst, they received an extreme surprise...they saw his score: 1500 (out of 1600). They both almost fainted. “What!” Eric’s mother screamed. “A 1500! Is that right? Eric, did you cheat?”

“No mom I didn’t. I promise,” Eric responded. “To be honest, I tried, but everyone’s test was different. Maybe I am smart after all.”

They both couldn’t believe it. Maybe Eric was intelligent, but just wasn’t focusing or trying hard in school? This test result really motivated Eric and he began to make some changes. He stopped skipping class. He paid more attention during lectures and for the first time in his life he was turning all of his homework assignments in on time. Eric really had a transformation. His mom was most excited about the fact that Eric stopped hanging out with certain individuals that were bringing him down with their behavior.

“Maybe college is for me.” Eric told his mom.

With all of his hard work during his senior year in high school, Eric was able to get his GPA up to a level where he could graduate. His improved focus and commitment paid off. Upon graduation, Eric was accepted and attended a small four year college about two hours north of his home.

While in college, he thrived in that environment and eventually graduated with honors. Years later, Eric became the CEO of a popular magazine brand and he credits the turning point of his life, receiving his high SAT score.

The most powerful force is how you see yourself. 

“My self-image really changed after taking that test,” He often would say. “For once in my life I actually believed in myself.”

While coming home for Christmas to his mom’s house with his wife and two children many years later (16 years after he graduated from high school), Eric’s mom had an envelope waiting for him. It was from the College Board and the Educational Testing Service (ETS), which developed the SAT. “Eric, this is for you,” his mom said while sipping a cup of coffee. “This envelope arrived about two weeks ago.”

While reading this letter standing around the kitchen island, the ETS informed Eric that there was a mistake on his test. While performing an internal audit, they found that in the past 16 years, a handful of individuals were sent the wrong test results. They apologized, but his score was actually a 710—not a 1500.

“What? How can this be?” Eric asked his mom with astonishment.

“Who cares about this letter dear?” His mom responded. “That mistake helped you find your true potential.”

She was right. Even though Eric’s grades and SAT results would suggest that his intelligence during high school was average or below average versus his peers, Eric turned his life around. By having a more positive self-image, his habits, actions, and behaviors changed.

This lesson, which is actually based on a true story, is this: Excellence is not fixed, but can grow…and it all starts with how you see yourself.

How is your self-image?

It’s time to believe in yourself, take control of your life, and begin to change key habits that will help lead you to success. You do not need a false test score, external validation, your past, or current situation to begin your own journey of self-confidence. Decide today that you are enough and that you have everything you need to reach or exceed your potential.

The power of belief and self-image are the most powerful forces we have. Change your self-talk and your image will improve. Change your image, and your actions will match that image. With an improved self-image and actions, your results will reach a higher level. With better results, the stronger your belief will become.

What areas of your life are you self-sabotaging with a negative image of yourself?

• Scholastics
• Athletics
• Socially
• Dating
• Marriage  
• Your fitness  
• Trying new things
• Career opportunities
• Public speaking
• Bouncing back from failure

What steps can you take to improve your self-image?

USE THE SVP METHOD TO IMPROVE YOUR SELF IMAGE. Take out a piece of paper and answer these questions. This is a form of self-advertising. You are using your conscious brain to advertise and reshape your self-image to your subconscious brain.

• S: What are my Strengths? What do I naturally excel at and enjoy?
• V: What is my Vision? Set a goal for yourself and work consistently on achieving that goal.
• V: What are my Values? List key words that will guide your behavior. These guiding principles will help you stay on course to achieve your vision.  
• P: Write down where you had Past success. This is an affirmation exercise and you are remembering that you can achieve greatest...it’s time to do it again.  
• P: What’s your Purpose? Why do you want your goal? No purpose...no passion. Having a clear purpose will help you push through the hard times.  

Rome was not built in a day...nor will the best version of you be either. Identify your strengths. Focus on your vision. Stop comparing and obsessing what others think of you. Zero in on your values and just be you. But, more importantly, take the necessary actions needed to grow and improve...that is where ultimate fulfillment is found.

Make a change for the better. Commit. Believe. Work hard. Persist. And lastly, give yourself GRACE. If you follow this recipe, you will unlock your full potential and RISE...just like Eric.

Check out my book Project Rise and it’s counterpart the Rise Journal and learn life-changing tools to be the best version of you.

TIPS, KEYS, & MENTORS TO GET YOUR MIND RIGHT IN 2018

I want to have a personal conversation with you right now. It's a new year and time to look yourself in the mirror and decide what you want to change, improve, or enhance in 2018. I want to cut the BS and really speak to you. Wake up! You are getting older each day and if there was ever an excuse or a reason to take action...it is now. Do not waste another year with one of the worst four letter F-words ever: "I'm FINE." F-that! Stop being "fine," and start dominating.

During this holiday season, I've taken a few days off and have really thrown myself into learning new content to prepare myself for a new year full of exciting opportunities. To prepare myself, I've been reading books during the kids nap time, listening to audiobooks while I drive or workout, and I've been watching/listening to YouTube videos while I go on early morning walks, and even in bed while I fall asleep.

Getting my mind and body right at the gym.

I've been taking mental and written notes non stop and feel like there has been an awaking in the Force (insert Star Wars' Kylo Ren's voice there) inside my spirit, and I love it. When was the last time you felt an awakening inside your soul? I have put myself through a crash course of positive psychology, peak performance, recovery, and habit creation from the top leaders in these fields. I've done this to not only prepare myself to ATTACK 2018 with enthusiasm and purpose, but to help you execute on your vision and goals for 2018 as well. I know my purpose: to help people perform at their best.

Why do you get out of bed? Your purpose is the most powerful performance enhancer.

16 MENTORS

Below is a list of my 16 mentors, teachers, and guides I've studied the past several weeks. I've put a link to all of these game-changers to help inspire, inform, and keep you going as you strive to be your best self this year and throughout your journey of self-discovery. In no particular order, get ready to go down a worthwhile rabbit hole of excellence.

1. Peak Performance: Elevate Your Game, Avoid Burnout, and Thrive with the New Science of Success, Brad Stulberg & Steve Magness
2. Carl Lentz, speaker, author, pastor, baller, Own the Moment
3. Jocko Willink, Navy Seal veteran, entrepreneur, podcast host, author (Discipline Equals Freedom)
4. Dr. Maxwell Maltz, One of the original thought leaders on self-image, self-talk, visualization, and goal setting (Psycho-Cybernetics) 
5. Brian Cain, Peak Performance Coach, Washington Nationals, author, speaker
6. Justin Su'a, High Performance Coach in the NFL & MLB, Increase Your Impact Podcast, Parent Pep Talks: 10 Mental Skills Your Children Must Have to Succeed in School, Sports, and Life
7. Dr. Michael Gervais, Performance Psychologist, Finding Mastery Podcast
8. Chad Veach, speaker, stud, author, pastor, Faith Future Forward
9. Trevor Moawad, Mental Conditioning Coach for Alabama, Florida State, and Russell Wilson
10. Colleen Hacker, PhD, Olympic Mental Skills Coach, author, professor, speaker
11. Tim Grover, Performance Trainer for Kobe, Michael Jordan, CEO at Attack Athletics, author
12. Gabrielle Bernstein, author, speaker, positive energy seeker
13. Houston Kraft, speaker, trainer, kindness advocate
14. Dr. David Vago, Expert in Mindfulness, Director of Cognitive Neuroscience at Vanderbilt University
15. Andy Puddicombe, Founder of the mindfulness app Headspace (a must for you to gain clarity, calm, awarness, and wisdom for 2018)
16. Dr. Brene Brown, She is simply amazing...author, speaker, and researcher in vulnerability and shame

Founder of McDonald's Ray Kroc said it best, "When you are green you grow. When you are ripe, you rot." Winners do what others aren't willing to do. Also, champions are always looking to improve and grow their knowledge. Use the list above to help guide you this year and to help keep you motivated to see your goals through.

What are you investing in?

8 KEYS

Based on my learnings, below are my 8 Keys to attack 2018 and make it the best year yet:

1. Be where your feet are. (Reliving the past or obsessing on the future will not serve you. Be present in the moment - that is where beauty and excellence are found)

2. Do a little a lot. Not a lot little. (This is called the Slight Edge - what are one or two habits you can do consistently, instead of waiting until the last minute and being overwhelmed? Be patient..those little things will eventually compound and turn into big things. For example, if you double a penny each day for 30 days, that once cent will turn into $5 million dollars)

3. Positive thinking doesn't always work. However, negative thinking always works...for the negative. (No thought is idle. How can you filter the things around you that suck energy and create negativity?...for example: negative news outlets, social media, people in your life, catastrophesizing the future, etc.)

4. Don't waste a mistake. (How can you use mistakes and adversity to serve you and learn from. Remember to "park it," and come back to it when a similar situations arises...this time you'll be ready.)

5. Success leaves clues. (When were you performing at your best? Recall what habits and rituals you were doing during those times...it might be time to bring back some of those habits. Also, study who is elite in your field and model their behaviors as well.)

6. Make kindness normal. (The secret ingredient of success is culture. The heart of a winning culture is kindness. Kindness to others and even being kind to yourself when you make a mistake will help you and your team go further this year.)

7. Get comfortable being uncomfortable. (Stop playing small. It's time to lean into your fear. A recent study showed that when a group of people actually attempted their fear, 79% said "it wasn't that bad." The elite are able to attack their fears and use that energy as fuel to grow instead of fire to burn.)

8. Mindfulness matters. (Rest and recovery are critical factors of success. Just 10 minutes a day of sitting without technology and getting centered with your breath and thoughts will help you unlock the 4 Keys of Mindfulness: Clarity, Calm, Awareness, and Wisdom. You already have all four of those inside of you. Allow your subconscious the time to unlock your inner power.)

If it works for Russell, give daily mindfulness a try.

3 TIPS

Now that you have your 16 Mentors and 8 Keys locked and loaded, let me offer you 3 tips to really pull your 2018 goals through.

• Tip #1: Write your goal down. A 2006 study from USA Today showed that people who wrote their New Year's Resolution down, were 1,000 percent (that is not a typo) more likely to achieve it versus those that did not write their resolution down.
• Tip #2: Tell someone one habit you'd like to change, and not your outcome goal. My mind was blown recently by this bit of information. I've always thought that telling people your goals is good, but this actually often times back fires (more info on this concept here). Instead, focus on one commitment and habit. For example, Alabama Football has no outcome goals posted anywhere in their facilities...only process goals.
• Tip#3: What is your One Word? Every year Kendra and I select one word for the year to help with our intention and focus. My word this year is "Present," as in I want to be more present in everything I do. Kendra's is "Abundance." What is yours?

1 VIDEO

Good luck. Use these mentors, keys, and tips to stick with your goal and plan for the long haul. If you ever need motivation, watch this video. I love me some Jocko. This was my favorite collection of wisdom during my studying...we all can learn from a Navy Seal Commander. 

If you liked this post, share it with a friend and let me know what your favorite mentor, key, or tip from my list above. Let's help each other RISE in 2018!

To learn more about how to be your best self, order my book Project Rise and it's coutnerpart, The Rise Journal, to create the  mindset and plan to achieve your goals. Order the books here.

The BREATH METHOD: A Simple System to Help Prime Your Athlete’s Mindset

Practicing mindfulness and visualization have been proven to be cornerstone’s of peak performance. A plethora of professional athletes, including LeBron, Kobe, and Russell Wilson use this technique to help them get “in the zone.” Many young athletes, however, are missing out on this technique because of a lack of emphasis, training, and consistent implementation.

Based on feedback from coaches and players, my guided visualization sessions (like this one) have been one of the most impactful tools that have aided performance.

To help you expose your student-athlete(s) to a mindfulness system, here is a 5 step pregame exercise that you can do with your child at home, during the car drive to the game, or for coaches – utilize this system during pregame warmups. This simple technique will help prime your athlete’s mindset (and yours too), so they can be in a more relaxed and focused state. This only takes 3 - 5 minutes to do. I call this the BREATH Method.

B – BREATHE: Ask your athlete to close their eyes, focus on their breath, and to breathe in through their nose and out through their mouth. Have them count to 5 during each inhale and to 5 again during the exhale (controlled breathing helps lower the stress hormone cortisol). After at least five deep breaths, invite them to go back to a normal rhythm breathing pattern.

R – RESET: Have them come up with a “reset” word that they can use to keep their mind in the game during down time, moments of stress, or when they fail (examples, “believe,” “confident,” or “release”). Have them say their reset word to themselves in-between each breath or during the exhale. Example: inhale 1-2-3-4-5, “Believe,” exhale 1-2-3-4-5. Do this exercise at least 5 times.

Talking mental skills with Dodgers outfielder Alex Verdugo and youth campers at Dodger’s Stadium.

E – EXIT:  Invite them to exit any and all thought, doubt, and negative energy, and simply focus on their breath and/or “reset” word. When an errant thought pops into their head (that’s ok), encourage them to come back to their breath and reset word (this is taking a mental rep to strengthen their brain, much like curls for making our biceps stronger).

A – AFFIRMATION: Once they have taken a minute or two to focus on their breath and reset word, have them identify a goal for the practice or game. Encourage them to use their imagination and visualize this goal as if it is already done (with as many senses as possible – sight, sound, touch, feeling, etc). This will help create what Sports Psychologist, Dr. Michael Gervais, calls a “mental groove” or a nueropathway that the brain creates, and the body and subconscious mind will later follow (this is also called nueroplasticity - where we can reshape our own brain).

Encourage them to affirm that they have what it takes to make this goal happen with a few internal statements of positive self-talk (ex: I can do this, I am a champion, I’ve put in the work, etc.).

TH – THANKFUL: Lastly, invite your athlete to take a moment and think about what they are grateful for and what makes them happy. I call this a gratitude checklist (ex: faith, family, health, friends, experiences, etc.). Gratitude has been clinically proven to reduce stress by as much as 28% (Dr. Robert Emmins, University of California, Davis) and create an optimistic and positive mindset. Have them learn to exchange expectation, with appreciation.

Have your athlete fill out a notecard following these prompts. They can use this as a reminder during their pregame visualization/mindfulness warmup. 

This tool will have the most impact if done consistently. Having a daily ritual of visualizing and activating the calming power of mindfulness will help you as well. These principles will not only improve performance in athletics, but in school, and all walks of life.

I believe that teaching the power of breath, visualization, positive self-talk, and gratitude can benefit anyone - even at young ages.

Collin Henderson is the Director of FLOW Mental Performance and is the author of Project Rise: 8 Winning Habits to Build the Best Version of You.

PERFORM LIKE A RIVER

Nature is a great teacher of peak performance. If we allow ourselves to stop, take a moment, and pay attention, there is beauty and balance all around us.

In nature, whether it is a specific species, plant, organism, or animal – performance is all about finding a niche and playing to a specific strength – which is essential for survival.

Inspired by the great outdoors recently, I’ve been thinking about the power of a river (I drive over a bridge that covers a river every day). Rivers are one of the most important elements for our eco system - from fresh water to drink, to carrying fish to eat, and supplying us with energy through dams and other sources of power...we couldn’t survive without rivers.

Aside from being the drainage system for the mountain snow, rivers have the perfect blend of untamed power and peaceful calmness. Rivers allow greatness and purpose to shape itself naturally. Put simply, a river flows. Conversely, as performers, we often times try to force the issue and block ourselves from just letting go and being in a state of “total release,” meaning no judgement or stress, but peaceful energy.

While processing this concept of getting out of our own way, I was brought back to my junior year in football at WSU. Though I was starting as a wide-receiver and punt returner, I was not as involved in the offense as I envisioned at the beginning of the season (that’s me below my junior year, wearing #83 celebrating my best friend and roommate Mark Baldwin’s touchdown).

To cope, I would stay after practice and take extra reps for at least an hour. I tried to force the issue. This extra work didn’t seem to payoff either. I began to wear my body down. Head Coach Mike Price even said to me, “Collin, you don’t seem as fresh. I think you should rest after practice instead of taking all those extra reps.”

My obsession with perfection and forcing things to happen did not pay off.

I took a different approach my senior year and did my best to trust the process and let things happen naturally. With this strategy, it only took me six games to doubled my catch total versus the year before. I learned to ride the current (like a river) instead of forcing it. 

The purpose of this post is to inspire you to perform like a river. So how do you do that? Here’s how: by balancing the beautiful combination of making it happen and letting it happen. Whether you are an athlete, salesman, student, entrepreneur, leader, or stay at home mom, we are all called to perform in one way or another. So for all you performers out there, below are four ways to perform like a river.

1. A RIVER ATTACKS

A river is very disciplined. How it is designed, a river doesn’t have very many options either. It has one main focus and that is to attack and flow at anything in it’s direction. A river isn’t passive. If there is a rock it it’s way, it attacks. If there is a person in it’s way, it doesn’t slow down. A river never quits or gives up. Nothing will stop a river from reaching it’s goal (reaching the ocean). It will bend, flow, move, and alter it’s approach until it reaches its final destination.

Are you giving yourself multiple options and sabotaging your decision making ability by giving yourself an out? Be like a river and attack life and your goals with an unwavering force and belief. 

2. RIDE THE CURRENT

As I mentioned earlier, a river has a natural current that is very powerful. It won’t stop until it reaches the ocean. Part of a river’s power though is that it is not forced, but it allows it’s purpose to play out. This is a juxtaposition, but the beauty of a river is the perfect balance of attacking, while allowing the flow to rush naturally.

For example, when did forcing the issue on that girl you like ever work? It didn’t. Calling and texting her a million times a day to no avail. I gurentee, if you take a step back and have the confidence and patience to let it happen (as much as you want to make it happen...let her come to you), the chances of you landing the girl will significantly increase. Desperation is not a good look. 

I’m all about persistence, but energy is a natural process. It’s a balance between conviction and a sense of calm. 

When riding a horse, if the rider holds the reins too tight, the horse loses trust and the cowboy loses control. A light and faithful grip is where there is a synergy and natural flow.  

In peak performance, this is the holy grail of execution. It is the perfect blend of passion and peace that creates an out of body experience that pulls us similar to a river’s current. This is called being in a flow state. Flow means being “in the zone,” having no judgement, no sense of time, and harnessing effortless energy. (Below is a pic of my favorite River, Cougar legend and 2nd all time in receptions, River Cracraft)

Many times, we are our own road block to this current of power called flow (like my own football example earlier). Our mind often sabotages peak performance by judging, comparing, and worrying about opinions of others. Here’s a statement that sums this hinderence up:

STAY IN YOUR HEAD, YOU’LL BE DEAD.  

Get out of your head and operate more in your heart. I’m encouraging you to spend as much time letting it happen as trying to make it happen. I’ll say this again to reiterate my point:

Peak performance is a balance between making it happen and letting it happen.  

This leads me to point number three...

3. SEEK PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION.

This concept has changed my life. I used to be so obsessed with outcomes and perfection that I often times would get in my own way. Listen, do you think a river gives a s#@% what others think? Heck no. Trust your training, instincts, abilities and ride the current of the moment. 

A huge hinderence of accessing the power of flow is worrying about failure. If you follow any river, there is always twist and turns; rough and smooth waters. A river is never a straight line...nor is success.

Instead of worrying about the past or future (or failure), try to be fully present in the moment. Don’t fight the current, ride the current. Saturate yourself with the sights, sounds, feelings, and energy of the moment. Allow yourself a brief minute or two to close your eyes, focus on your breath and feel the energy. If you take this approach of being completely in the now, I believe you’ll harness your own power of flow, and you’ll enjoy the beautiful ride of imperfection...which will in turn help you execute at a higher level. 

4. WHAT YOU DO IN THE DARK, SHINES BRIGHT IN THE LIGHT

Rivers are formed high above civilization in the lofty altitude of snowy mountains. No one is up there. A river’s origin often times goes unnoticed – similar to peak performance. The more snow that is created where no one is watching, the more powerful the flow will be. The more work, effort, and time you put into your craft (when no one is watching) the greater the chance of accessing this power of flow.

This concept of planning, practicing with a purpose, and treating training with the same intensity as gameday (or giving a speech, taking a test, hosting a dinner, or creating a report), you’ll generate a more powerful current that you can simply enjoy, instead of fight.

We don’t rise to the occasion, we rise to our training.  

Build your current today. Put in the work behind the scenes, so you can ride the power of flow when it’s time to perform. This sense of release reminds me of the first time I caught a wave boogie boarding in Hawaii. I paddled like mad out from the beach and when the wave approached, I kicked as hard as I could to get in sync with the flow. When I caught it, I was able just just relax and carry it all the way to shore. That moment of riding the wave was so peaceful and exhilarating. Give this concept a try for your next big performance: prepare like crazy when no one is watching, so you can be calm when the lights are on.

In summary, feel the flow, and give this concept a try...just like a river:

1. Attack life
2. Let it happen as much as trying to make it happen
3. Think progress not perfection  
4. Develop a strong current through determined practice  

To help illustrate my point of trusting and letting it happen, watch this quick video of Obi Wan teaching Luke Skywalker on letting the power of the Force to run through him, without letting his conscience mind get in the way (fast forward to 2:20) 

Always remember to be present in the moment and ask yourself this question, How can I use the metephorical current of a river to be a vessel for something bigger then myself and to perform at my best?

In competition and in life, sometimes you just need to board the vessel and let it ride. 

I’ll close with a few lines with one of my favorite Garth Brook songs (The River) on the  beauty and power of a river.

Too many times we stand aside

And let the waters slip away

'Til what we put off 'til tomorrow

Has now become today

 So don't you sit upon the shoreline

And say you're satisfied

Choose to chance the rapids

And dare to dance the tide

I will sail my vessel, until the river runs dry.  

Like the bird upon the wind, these waters are my sky.  

I’ll never reach my destination, if I never try.  

So, I will sail my vessel, ‘till the river runs dry. 

 ———

For more lessons on peak performance and becoming your best self, click here to purchase Collin Henderson’s book Project Rise.

4 Steps to Improve Your Relationship

So it's my birthday this Saturday (November 4). Yo, I'm pumped! More candles on my cake. Like most years, my close family asks me what I want for a birthday present, and I often find myself scrambling for an answer.

My younger self would probably say, some new Jordan's, clothes, a new gadget or piece of technology, but as I've gotten older and wiser, I'm seeking what true happiness feels like. During my journey of self discovery, I've learned that joy doesn't come from things, but from deep relationships.

And there's no relationship more important to me than the one I have with my amazing wife Kendra. All I want for my birthday is to connect on a deeper level with my wife. Honestly, that's it. I'm not saying this to get brownie points, I truly mean it.

This sentiment brings me back to an epiphany I had while watching a Ted Talk last summer. While doing my best to multitask by checking out a few Ted Talks on YouTube while watching the kids in our playroom (I promise Kendra, no one ate poop or swallowed Lego's), I stumbled across a speaker discussing a powerful insight into the human condition. He shared an 80 year study from Harvard that looked into what brings happiness. Tracking 268 Harvard sophomores and their off-spring since 1938, this study gave the researchers a wealth of data on what brings people true joy.

Their conclusion: Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives, the study revealed.

“The surprising finding is that our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence on our health,” said Robert Waldinger, director of the study, a psychiatrist at Massachusetts General Hospital and a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. “Taking care of your body is important, but tending to your relationships is a form of self-care too. That, I think, is the revelation.”

Learn more about the Harvard happiness study here

If you are like I was for most of my life, where you look for status, things, money, accolades, and outcomes to bring happiness, then you will send yourself on a fruitless journey to a bottomless pit of emptiness.

Instead of titles and things, focus on people and relationships. You can't take things with you when you're gone from this earth. To live a glorious life, I believe we need to think about two L words: legacy and love. What kind of light did we shine, and what kind of wake did we leave behind? Even if that light and that wake was designed for one person.

Let me ask you a question, what's one relationship that is most important to you? Let's start there, and capitalize on this amazing opportunity. It could be a friendship, your marriage, a parent-child relationship; it could be a mentor-mentee relationship. My challenge to you today is this...how can you make your most important relationship better?

This is kind of like how I used to shop for clothes. I used to buy many cheaper pieces of clothing that would not last very long, because the quality wasn't there. Now, I'm into buying less garments, but at a much higher price and quality. I now look for the one timeless piece that is worth investing in (sorry T. Do, you told me about the strategy a long time ago, but like most men I'm a slow learner).

What's more important to you, quantity or quality? I found that quality is more important than quantity.

Here are 4 keys to improve your most important relationship. If you do these four steps, I promise you, it will be the best gift you can give to yourself and someone else special to you.

1. Love Yourself First.

This is a cliché of an example, but I often use it to make a point. When there is extreme turbulence in an aircraft, the first thing that they teach you to do is put the oxygen mask on yourself first, before you can help anybody else. How can you be of value to anybody else, if you don't have self respect and love for yourself?

You have so much to offer someone. Forgive yourself. Love yourself. Accept who you truly are and don't feel like you need to fit-in. The goal is to belong, as in, belong to yourself first...then you'll be ready to belong to somebody else.

2. Be Vulnerable.

To have ultimate courage, is to be vulnerable. I believe that the truest form of connection is to be authentic with others. Being able to share our pains as well as our gains takes a level of bravery. When was the last time you sat down with someone you truly care about and asked them what is on their heart? When was the last time you truly shared with somebody what is on your heart? Put the phones away and dig deep. You should never worry nor win alone.

Make today the day where you really open up to that one person that you care about the most. Invite them to do the same, and watch your relationship rise. I believe that trust is the ultimate superpower. If you have vulnerability and trust with another person, your heart and souls become stronger, healthier, and true joy is set free from our internal chains of jealousy, insecurity, and the lie of perfection.

3. Be Intentional.

Greatness doesn't just appear. Whether you're an Olympic athlete, or a successful entrepreneur, nothing ever happens by accident. Effort and persistence are the engine that drives achievement. People in relationships that are struggling, I'll sometimes ask, "Are you putting in the same effort you did now as you did when you began the relationship?" That's usually a wake up call. I'm tired of the excuses, "I'm so busy." "We're so busy." Shut the F up. The phone call can wait. Answering that text message or email can wait. Stop lying to yourself, and glorifying the hustle. Having a deep, loving, and committed relationship is much cooler than how many followers you have on Instagram, or digits in your bank account.

Here's a thought, schedule quality time in your calendar just like you would any other important meeting.

I promise you this, when you look back on your life, I'll bet that you'll yearn more for feelings, moments, and experiences with somebody you love, versus watching a TV show, sleeping, working 70 hours per week, or buying some random thing that you won't care about in a year. Make some memories today, and do it with somebody you love.

4. Give More Than You Receive. 

Kendra and I often discuss the power of giving and expecting nothing in return. That's the core mission of our marriage. We don't always execute this perfectly, but that is our intent. When giving and serving is the focus, call it God or the universe,  but you will receive much more than you will focusing solely on yourself.

I think we just get lazy and lost in our own ego. We let pride stand in the way of our progress - as individuals and as a pair. Imagine if two people shared the common mission to truly serve the other person for the better. Picture what miracles and joy can be created with that mindset.

How can you serve your go-to person better? What's one thing you can do today that you know will fill their bucket? If this is the focus for each of you, you will experience the synergy of sacrifice and service. You both will rise to a fulfillment way more high then seeking your desires on your own.  I call this a RISE Relationship.

Happy Relationship Gameplan: Do this today and watch your happiness and relationship RISE.

1. Identify the relationship that is most important to you.

2. Tell yourself that you are amazing, that you are awesome just the way you are, and you have what it takes to bring value to the person you love the most.

3. Be intentional about scheduling quality time, and doing something that you enjoy together with that person. But here's the twist, make that date, or that event all about the other person, and see what happens.

4. Open up and be vulnerable about something that you don't normally talk about. Ask the other person to do the same.

This might be strange or uncomfortable for you, or you might be a pro at this. Either way, what do you have to lose?

I can't wait to do this with Kendra on my birthday date night. Who knows, if I follow steps 1-4 above, I might be able to wear my birthday suit later. 😜🤣😈

Get your copy of my books Project Rise and the Rise Journal and learn 8 key habits to be your best self! 

Leggo! #RiseUp #BestVersionOfYou

CONOR MCGREGOR’S WINNING COMBINATION

"I didn't dream of being a UFC fighter, I dreamed of being a UFC Champion."

Conor McGregor isn't just shaking up the sport of UFC (The Ultimate Fighting Championship), he is reshaping how we look at sports and success all together. Aside from winning two different UFC belts (Featherweight and Lightweight), McGregor’s UFC fights have broken attendance and PayPerView records, and has garnered a spirited fan base all around the world. All this from a kid from Dublin, Ireland who was once a plumber's apprentice. 

In a move that is unprecedented in UFC, on August 26, 2017, McGregor is taking his talents out of the octagon, and into the boxing ring versus undefeated Floyd Mayweather, Jr. 

So how did he get here? With a combination that is unstoppable. McGregor uses an equation that sums up his success. This formula can be applied to all areas of sport and life. 

(V + A) x B = S
(Visualization + Action) x Belief = Success

Using imagery and visualization

McGregor says he channels the powers of the law of attraction and does detailed mental rehearsals of his achievements before they happen. This use of vivid imagery (using all of his senses) has been a life changing strategy – when times are going well or when faced with adversity. 

"I'm big into visualization. I have visualized every part of my career and thus for all of it has come true. I don't worry about my opponent or their game. I worry about my game."

“This is the law of attraction. In this struggle, when things are going good and you visualize good things happening, that’s easy. What’s not easy is to do is when things are going bad and you’re visualizing the good stuff. And that’s what I was able to do. Visualizing good things in times of struggle, when you can do that, that really makes the law of attraction work.”

An unmatched work ethic

No one pushes harder or puts themselves through a more rigorous training program than McGregor. He understands that he can't just visualize and attract success. In the end, you can't spell attraction without the word action. McGregor knows he can't just think it, he has to put in the work as well. 

"There's no talent here, this is hard work. This is an obsession. Talent does not exist, we are all equal us as human beings. You can be anything if you put in the time. You will reach the top, and that's that. I'm not talented, I'm obsessed.”

An unwavering belief in himself

Through his passion, imagery, and action, McGregor channels the power of belief to make his intentions come true. 

“If you have a clear picture in your head that something is going to happen and a clear belief that it will happen no matter what then nothing can stop it. It is destined to happen. It’s perfect.”

How can you better use visualization and imagery to help your subconscious create a roadmap for your body to follow? Are you focusing on negative or positive thoughts? 

“You need to appreciate your surroundings and be grateful for it, and that’s when good things happen. To have that bitterness and negativity, that’s when things go bad. I think the fact that I appreciate everything and that I’m grateful for the things around me, that’s why it’s going so good for me.”

Gratitude sets the stage for greatness. Once you've set the intention of what you want, and can see it (with a sense of gratitude and belief), the next step is to take the necessary actions to make it happen. 

How can you use the equation (Visualization + Action) x Belief = Success to achieve your goals? 

Below is a video of how McGregor showcases the power of using visualization plus action and multiplying it by an intense belief.

HERE'S A TRICK WE USE TO GET OUR KIDS TO SLEEP

Do you have young children? If so, what's your most stressful time as a parent? Is it getting the kids dressed and out of the house (this is Kendra's)? Is it eating out as a family away from home? Or is it dropping them off at school? (actually that might be your happiest time)

Do you ever have a weak moment as a parent and for a split second ponder, "What the hell were we thinking?"

I love my kids more than anything. Besides my faith and my wife, they are the most important thing in my world. They are the sugar on my cereal. The caramel on my iced white mocha. But, sometimes Earth (Baylor), Wind (Bella), Fire (Winnie), and Ice (Norah) can be a lot.

The squad: Norah, Winnie, Baylor, Bellamy

For me, unequivocally, the most stressful time is putting the kids down at night. Our newborn Norah is no prob. All she does is eat, sleep, and poop. Winnie (20 months) goes out like light. Her big bro Baylor (5) and big sis Bellamy (3) on the other hand, make Ricky Bobby's hellions Walker and Texas Ranger look like saints...

"I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!"  

"You're gonna break us like a bunch of Wild horses, aren't you?" 

Some nights, I swear our kids have been possessed by Caillou and Sherriff Callie on crack.

We've tried every trick in the book, from sticking to the same routine, reading books, watching one show, singing songs, keeping a Magna-Doodle on hand, saying prayers, hall light on, bathroom light on...the list keeps going. 

Each night I feel like Rocky Balboa getting his ass kicked by Apollo in the first Rocky movie. After coming in and out of their rooms a thousands times, instead of yelling, "Adrien," I'm yelling, "Kennnnddraaaaa!" I often need spiritual, emotional, and physical support. 

Praise Jesus for melatonin though. We try to save that miracle gift from God for only when we absolutely need it. And it only works if we were smart enough to think ahead and give it to them 45 minutes before they get in their jammies and begin to reenact scenes from Veggie Tales - with a flashlight and and some random thing on their head. 

If you've ever experienced a scene like this raise your hand. It's OK, I got news for you. It doesn't have to be like this. There is a different way. 

I've been on this mindfulness kick for quite some time now. I've been studying it and practicing it on myself as well. The scientific evidence is just too strong. The health benefits are amazing, so why not pass this knowledge on to our kids?

The definition of mindfulness is this:

1. The quality or state of being conscious or aware of something.

2. A mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.

My definition of mindfulness, is getting centered; focusing on one thing (whether your breath, a word, a sound, or object); and allowing your brain to quiet the noise. When an errant thought pops up, you recognize it and go back to your one thing. When you do that, it's like taking a mental rep for your brain...just like doing a rep of curls to strengthen your biceps.

There are several great tools to help practice mindfulness: The app Headspace is a good place to start, and Spotify has a bunch of options to listen to. 

I've tried all of these but I've never tried mindfulness or meditation on my kids. However, last month, my mother-in-law, who is also a licensed counselor, told me how YouTube has a bunch of a guided meditations for children. About a week ago, after dealing with bedtime antics for a half hour, I remembered her tip, and turned on a YouTube meditation video talking about some dragon. I synced the video that was playing on my phone with our Beats Pill to make this British women's voice sound like she was actually in the room.

It was seriously amazing. The kids began to focus on their breath, relax, and it was unbelievable, they laid still and shut the F up.

I added a little lavender essential oil, and it was magic.

Baylor fell asleep within 10 minutes, and wild child Bellamy Rue fell asleep in like 15 minutes.........check please.

We've made YouTube children guided meditations a nightly ritual, and I've joined them in these sessions every night. I get the added benefit of meditating with them, which is also an added bonus. 

The kids have enjoyed this experience so much that they even asked for it...which is pretty awesome.

I passed this piece of advice to one of my friends because she said her five-year-old refuses to go to bed at night. She used one of the videos I sent her. She texted me a picture later that evening…her daughter was out like a light in five minutes. She was so pumped! She said it was the best piece of parenting advice she's ever received (ah shucks, thanks Andrea...it takes a village).

When she told me that, I knew I had to share this best practice to the masses.

By teaching your kids techniques of mindfulness (especially at night), they get many benefits:

• a stress relieving technique
• a way to calm themselves down
• practice not needing technology to be quiet
• they are strengthening their brain
• your kids AND you, hopefully get more sleep

Below is one of Bella's favorite guided meditations Wow a shocker, it's about unicorns (this is the same one I sent to my friend Andrea).  

If you've tried every trick in the book to get your kids down with no avail, give this technique a try and let me know how it goes.

With your kids down early without putting up a fight, you'll be like...

If you think this piece of advice could help some of your parent peeps, please tag them or share it!

Collin Henderson founded Project Rise to help individuals and teams master their mindset and be the best version of themselves. His new books Project Rise: 8 Winning Habits to Build the Best Version of You and Rise Journal are coming in September!

LEARN TO ATTACK FEAR FROM NATHANIEL HOLCOMB

FEAR KILLS MORE DREAMS THAN FAILURE EVER WILL. -UNKNOWN

What do you fear?

Is it failure? Are you overly consumed by your image and what people think of you? Or is it a past mistake that you keep replaying over and over? Or maybe you suffer from one of the most crippling fears, which used to often plague me - negative anticipation. You worry about events that haven't even happened yet. You use words like "don't let this happen," or "avoid this."

This negative thought pattern can be summed up by this statement: "What you resist, persists." 

Fear feeds off of fear. The more you avoid, the more you attract.

Whether you think positive or negative thoughts, you often times attract positive or negative outcomes in your life. When you create pictures of what you "don't want," you are creating that image in your mind, and thus attracting that very event.

Here are a few examples. Have you ever played baseball and been on defense and thought, "Don't hit it to me, don't hit it to me." What happens? The ball always finds you.

Or you didn't do your homework for school. You show up to class and you keep saying to yourself, "Don't call on me, don't call on me." What happens? Without a doubt, the teacher calls on you. These are examples of "what you resist persists."

An amazing story of the power of thought and fear comes from the Puyallup High School class of 2017 standout quarterback, Nathaniel Holcomb. As a sophomore, fresh out of Kalles Junior High, Holcomb earned the varsity starting quarterback position for the Vikings. Like many first time performers, the desire to not fail consumed Nathaniel's mind; more than thoughts of making positive things happen.

"I didn't want to screw up," Nathaniel said. "I didn't want to throw an interception. I was afraid of what people thought of me - even if I didn't know them."

6'1, 195 stud, Nathaniel Holcomb

This internal dialogue sounds very familiar to my old self-talk and many young athletes that I work with. Ironically, this "don't screw up" mindset leads to more screwing up. One of the biggest mental hurdles for Holcomb that season was the fear of injury.

"I played timid and hesitant," he said. "I was afraid of getting hurt."

Playing to avoid injury instead of playing to make things happen proved detrimental. In week four versus Emerald Ridge, Holcomb suffered a concussion that kept him out for most of the season.

Entering his junior season, Holcomb grew stronger and more confident. He was more comfortable with the offense and he knew his playbook. His production improved early in the season, which was evident by leading a come from behind victory over Curtis High School. However, after amassing over 1,000 yards passing and 11 touchdowns, that negative mindset crept back in.

"I remember thinking, 'your doing good, just don't get hurt,' " Holcomb said.

However, during a game mid-way in the season, his fear of injury manifested itself again. After throwing two touchdowns, a hard hit to his left knee forced a sprained MCL. Holcomb was once again out for the season. 

According to performance psychologist Heidi Grant from Columbia University, "The brain can process five to seven different thoughts at a time. But when the brain is anxious, it can only process two or three." This function may be for our evolutionary survival (when avoiding lions and tigers, it's probably important to have a narrow focus). However, when needing to process a great deal of information at once (like playing quarterback), a relaxed and calm mindset is much more beneficial.

Going into his senior season, Holcomb knew he wanted to make that year different. He committed himself to train even harder, and more importantly, spend less time of worrying about things out of his control - like being consumed by other people's opinions and the fear of injury.

"The word 'injury' was not in my mind," Holcomb said. "My mindset shifted from 'don't get hurt,' to 'I'm going to stay healthy, and have a good year.' " The College of Idaho commit added, "I said to myself, 'I'm not afraid of throwing a pick.' 

A healthy internal dialogue makes all the difference.

I had the pleasure of delivering several mindset workshops with the Puyallup High School football team that summer. One of the messages I gave was on the concept of "attacking fear." I encouraged the players to not run away from adversity and challenge, but to attack it head on. True champions have the courage to face their fears and use that energy as a tailwind to push them forward; not as a headwind that holds them back.

Why did Bruce Wayne (Batman) choose a nocturnal flying creature as his alter ego and symbol of justice? Because of his fear of bats as a young boy. By embracing that fear, and facing it, it gave him courage and strength.

Author and motivational speaker Jack Canfield says, "Everything we want in life is on the other side of fear."

When talking with the PHS football team, I challenged the seniors to come up with a slogan and a hashtag for the season to serve as their mantra and battle cry. This word or phrase would spark vision and action. Holcomb decided to embrace the concept of ATTACK FEAR.

"I never heard those two words together - attack fear," Holcomb said. "I liked it, and wanted to use it."

Oh, and attack fear he did. When week four came again his senior season, Holcomb didn't get hurt, he dominated. Against South Kitsap, Holcomb set a Washington State 11-Man football record with 10 touchdown passes. All while overcoming two early interceptions.

"I wasn't scared," he said. "I was smarter and more loose in the pocket. I was able to avoid defenders and make more plays."

By attacking his fear, Holcomb went on to finish the season with a clean bill of health. He torched the SPSL, finishing the year with 42 touchdowns (only nine interceptions) and 3,649 yards passing. This performance earned him several postseason honors, and a spot with the College of Idaho in the Frontier League.

NFL veteran and College of Idaho Head Coach Mike Moroski is singing Holcomb's praises, "Nathaniel is a big time recruit for us. Very strong arm with the ability to put the ball wherever he wants."

We can learn from Nathaniel Holcomb's story. By facing fear, adversity, and challenge head on, we take away it's power - and in turn - become more powerful.

Like Holcomb learned, when faced with FEAR, we have two options:

Forget
Everything
And
Run

or

Face
Everything
And
Rise

The choice is yours. So let me ask you:

WHAT FEAR ARE YOU GOING TO ATTACK TODAY?
Use Nathaniel's story to inspire you. You got this. Let's go!

Collin Henderson is the founder of Project Rise, which is a platform to help individuals and teams improve their mindset and performance. He is also teaching an eight week course on the power of mindset (Flow Mental Performance) at Northwest Prospects Academy this fall (information coming soon).

MY 30 SECOND PHONE ADDICTION HACK

While walking through the airport the other day, I made a startling observation—whether I was standing in line to check my bags, walking to my terminal, waiting in line to get a bottled water, or sitting at my gate—nearly everyone was on their phone. I call these individuals phone zombies: walking or sitting with their head down, checked out, and senselessly in another world. I’m often guilty of being a phone zombie as well (just ask my wife). 

Does this scene look familiar?

I’m trying to change this. 

Over a decade has passed since the release of the smartphone. No doubt these devices have helped streamline our lives into one simple operating system: our calendar, search engine, camera, main source of email, texting, GPS, Uber, TV, Netflix, video games, radio, and finding food or finding a date—the world is literally at our fingertips 24/7. 

With the explosion of social media apps, every moment of down time it seems is filled with checking our likes, comments, views, and keeping up with the Joneses. 

The new “reality TV” is watching YouTube, SnapChat and Instagram stories all day long (you can still get your fix of the Kardashians on Snap and Insta as well). While all of these features make life easier— including desperate times like keeping your kids quiet while eating at the Cheesecake Factory—this frequent phone checking habit has been shown to be as addictive as alcohol or drugs. The happy chemical dopamine is released, and we crave this neurological sensation every time we search, swipe, and tap.

However, there is a blind spot within our internal Air Traffic Control.

A 1998 study found that the more time people spent on the Internet, the more stressed, depressed, and lonely they felt. Not much has changed in nearly 20 years. A recent New York Times study showed that college students who spend more time on the Internet/Social Media are more depressed and anxious versus those who spend less time.
How many times have you said, or heard your significant other say, “Please put your phone away.” 

I’m 100% guilty of this. 

I need to spend less time on my phone, and more time on this…oh and baby number 4 is coming soon!

The world could use less screen time and more of the original face time. You know, the one without your phone. 

I’ve been on a recent kick to increase my mindfulness muscle by studying the positive effects of mono-tasking. I’ve discovered the power of living in the NOW, through putting my phone down, focusing on my breath, and listening to my thoughts. These simple actions are just too powerful to not apply. From better relationships, sleep, less stress, improved memory, and a healthier mind, body, and spirit—I’ve seen positive results while practicing a new technique when I get seduced by the Apple (iPhone). 

If you are like me and trying to break the habit of constantly checking your phone, I offer a system that I created called BREATH. It’s based on the game-changing positive psychology finding of what Dr. Heidi Grant from Columbia University calls an “if-then plan.” Meaning, you create a predetermined plan to substitute a bad habit with a more productive one. For example, if X happens, then I’ll do Y. 

If-then plans have been proven to increase the likelihood of breaking a bad habit by nearly 300 percent!

Discover the power of NOW

When I get the urge to check my phone during the many idle moments throughout the day, I’ll practice the BREATH technique. Here it is:

B – Breathe
R – Release
E – Explore
A – Affirm
T – Thankful
H – Hope

BREATHE
When I have a break in the action—in my car, on the couch, or standing in a line, instead of checking my likes and emails, I’ll focus my attention on my breathing. I’ll take one to three deep breaths in through my nose, and out through my mouth. This simple act refocuses my energy, and changes my physiology (and urge open my phone). Trust me, the emails can wait. 

RELEASE
With each exhale, I release any tension or tightness in my body. I do a quick body scan, and relax my tense shoulders and tight butt cheeks (what can I say, I love leg days at the gym). As I continue to exhale, I release any negativity or unproductive thoughts that I’ve been stressing over. 

EXPLORE
In this relaxed state, I allow my mind to wander wherever it wants to go. I try to let my subconscious brain take over. The goal is to explore how I can make the day better for myself and for others. 

AFFIRM
You don’t need permission from anyone to be great. Instead of relying on likes, comments, or views to improve my self confidence, I give myself a few words of affirmation. Plato once said, “The first and greatest victory is over self.” Self love is sometimes the hardest one to give. By practicing positive self talk, I use this time to focus on my strengths, and get less consumed by my blemishes and shortcomings (which is an easy trap to fall into using social media—even for a husband and father of three like me).

THANKFUL
I’ll use this time of mindfulness to run through my gratitude checklist. I’ll visualize and feel the many blessings in my life that I’m thankful for—my wife, my kids, my health, and my career. This act of gratitude might be the most powerful step of all. 

HOPE
1 Corinthians offers the trinity of transformation: faith, HOPE, and love. I conclude my quiet me-time with a quick prayer of hope for my goals and for those I love. I see my goals as if they’re already done. I often leave this meditative state in a place of flow: completely present in the now—with myself and a larger force more powerful than me. 

View fullsize

When I complete my BREATH exercise, I end up feeling more satisfaction exploring my subconscious and soul than I ever would exploring all my iPhone apps. 

Let me clarify, I’m not against smartphones. Due to work, being married, having kids, and having loving social relationships, my iPhone allows me to see and do things with much more convenience. However, I’m just trying to practice more self-care and invest more into my mental health than I am in my profile…which often times it is hard while producing a lot of creative content.

So the next time you get the urge to grab your phone while stuck in traffic, at Starbucks, having down time at home, or are at the airport, try to check-out, by checking-in to your BREATH. 

If you use this technique just three times a day, you’ll boost your inner battery, which needs a recharge, just as much as your smartphone. 

I created a free iPhone background as a visual queue for you guys – a way to remind yourself to follow these steps when you naturally would unlock your phone. 

You can download the background HERE. 

How to make this your background if you’re not familiar: Open this image, save to your phone by holding your finger down on the image until a menu pops up. Select “Save Image” – the image will now be saved in your photo album. From there, you can set as your wallpaper by selecting the image, tapping the lower left hand box with the arrow in it, and choosing the “Use as Wallpaper” option. 

Collin Henderson founded Project Rise to inspire individuals and teams to be the best version of themselves.

MY LETTER TO SUPERMAN - STEVE GLEASON

Dear Steve,

I have to make a confession. I've put off watching your award winning film Gleason for months. When I learned you were diagnosed with ALS, I was shocked and cried. I can't image what you and your family must have felt, but the news hit me hard...

Almost as hard as the time you blind sided me during Blitz Pick Up my freshman year. You probably don't remember this, but I was lined up in the left slot. You were playing weak side linebacker on the far hash. I had the hot route over the middle and just after Birny threw me the ball and it hit my hands, you ear holed me and absolutely blew me up. I was five feet horizontal in the air because you hit me so hard. I somehow miraculously still held onto the ball and popped back up real quick to show that I was tough. No one seemed to care that this was a noncontact drill—maybe because I was a true freshman and you were a fifth year senior.

Either way, I learned first hand what the term meant to get your “bell rung.” My left ear was ringing for like two hours after that play.

That hit obviously was nowhere near as hard as the adversities that you and your family face everyday. As you say, “Awesome ain't easy,” I haven't been an awesome teammate. I've put off watching your honest and courageous journey that you documented in your movie for too long.

You see, you were like Superman to me—you still are, probably more so—and I cowardly didn't have the courage to witness your transformation...until last night. I balled my eyes out the entire film. I even went up to each of my three children while they were sleeping and put my hands on them, while I was sobbing.

Like I did after you blindsided me, you keep getting back up every single day. You've refreshed my lens on life, like you undoubtedly have with millions of others.

I'm writing this right now because I can't sleep. You and Michel’s bravery is both heroic and haunting.

I have to get a few things off my chest and share my feelings with you.

You probably haven't thought about me for a long time, but you've been on my mind for the past six years. The last time I saw you was late November 2011—just 10 months after your diagnosis with ALS. I heard you were going to be honored in Pullman that weekend to raise the flag as an honorary captain.

There was an event for you at the Palouse Ridge Golf Course that Saturday, and I knew I had to see you. I've never told you this Steve, but I've always looked up to you. While I was a naive, wide-eyed, and insecure freshman, you were the confident big man on campus and senior captain. But, what I've always loved about you is you’ve never acted like the big man on campus. You have always been so kind, full of energy, and open to talk to anyone—even me.

Though you made me sing the Cougar fight song in front of the entire team at the Cougar Fitness Buffet during fall camp, I didn't hold it against you. You made up for it when you came back to train with us in Pullman after your first year in the NFL as an undrafted free agent. You were learning to play safety and I was a slot receiver. We had some good battles that summer. You gave many awesome insights about what it's like to be a professional to not only to me, but many other Cougar players who looked up to you as well.

So back to your Cougar event in 2011, I remember seeing you walk through the venue door. You had a cane and something else unexpected. When I saw you I remember thinking, “Holy shit, Steve’s got a legit mustache.” It was No Shave November. You've always had the perfect combination of empathy, intensity, and a sense of humor.

Maybe it was fate or luck, but because I was standing closest to the door, I was the first person to hug you. After not seeing you for many years it touched me when you said, “Come in for the real thing.” We hugged and I felt so much love from you and everyone in that room. I've always felt some strange connection to you. Maybe it was because I felt we had a lot in common.

• You went to Gonzaga Prep during the same time as my cousins Sarah and Peter Hession

• We both were somewhat undersized as football players who didn't have that typical build or personality

• Both of our fathers loved us but in an intense driven way

• We both were two sport athletes who played football and baseball

I remember several conversations we had about how you juggled both sports. These mini-mentor sessions really helped my mindset and confidence that if you could do it, I could do it too.

I'll never forget the speech you gave to the team during early August two-a-days though. It was a hot summer Palouse evening and we were up in the Martin Stadium bleachers. Each week, one of the captains addressed the team with a speech. I can't remember Torry or Nian’s topic (I do remember Nian referencing that he was wearing a “young ass T-shirt” though. Being from Puyallup, I had no idea what that meant). I've never forgotten your message. The topic of your talk was to DREAM BIG.

This mantra has carried you through your entire life. Watching from afar, you have lived this creed to its fullest: as an athlete, husband, father, son, friend, trailblazer, ALS advocate, filmmaker, role model and a true inspiration.

Your Monday Night Football blocked punt may have been the symbol of rebirth to so many in New Orleans, but your will, grit, vulnerability, and vision living through ALS has given a rebirth to the masses. You can add my name to that list.

I’ve learned from you a couple valuable lessons that deal with maybe the two most powerful emotions a person can feel and possess: courage and love. Both emotions are different in their own right, but they share one common bond: fear. You can't experience either courage or love without fear being present—but the only way to beat fear is with a brave spirit and a faithful heart.

Thank you for teaching me and others to fight through the fear and to dream big. Thank you for modeling raw vulnerability. Thank you for putting your family first (your wife Michel is one serious bad ass—we also share that in common—we married up). And thank you for never giving up.

As I write this, the date is ironically 7/3...the opposite of your Saint’s number 37. Even though your life has played out the opposite of what you’ve envisioned, just know that your legacy in this world and impact on the development of ALS technology is making a larger imprint than you could have ever done as a player.

I see you now more powerful than Superman. You are like Obi Wan Kenobi in Star Wars when he faced Darth Vader in that epic final battle where he said, “Strike me down, and I'll be more powerful than you can ever image.”

By sitting down in a chair Steve, you are helping me and others stand up—in relationships, life, and love.

You've inspired a new mantra for me. I want to live my life thirty-four-seven (347): your combined numbers as a Coug and Saint. Meaning, I want to maximize each day with compassion, courage, perspective, and passion, just like you. I'm going to live 347...twenty-four-seven (247).

All the best to Michel and Rivers. Tell your mom I said hello...she is one of the nicest people I've ever met, and I love seeing her when I go back to Pullman.

Have fun at Gleason Fest this year on August 12 in Spokane (event link here). I want to help reach our goal of raising $10K for the event (give here). We are expecting our fourth child on July 31, so I don't think I'll be able to make this one. I'm going to donate to Team Gleason though (give to Team Gleason here), and have my company match. I'll encourage others to do the same. I know the event is in good hands with Rian and “Shady” Grady.

Congrats on your beautiful film Gleason. It is a must see for everyone.

Until next time I see you Steve...just know that I love you and make sure that your head is on a swivel...I just might return the favor and blindside you with an ear hole shot of my own—I don't care if you're in a wheelchair.

Either way, as always: Go Cougs and No White Flags.

Sincerely Your Friend and Teammate,

Collin
 

PS: Below are some pictures I took with an old school disposable camera from our one year together as teammates. What a blast from the past!

This was on the bus while in Hawaii...that's Honolulu's Finest, J. Gess sitting in front of you.

That's you and and me throwing up the "hang loose" at the airport.

Looks like I'm trying to look tough here - again.

Here we are in front of Bohler. Nice cowboy hat by the way. That's me on the bottom right.

Left to right: There's Coach Akey, Steve (Birny) Birnbaum, Adam (The Hawk) Hawkins, and Paul (PM Don) Menke.

Collin Henderson is the founder of Project Rise, which is a platform to help inspire and give individuals and teams the tools to master their mindset and be the best version of themselves.

THE BANNISTER EFFECT

People said it couldn’t be done. It wasn’t possible. The closest any human had ever come to running under a 4 minute mile was in the 1940’s, with a time of 4:01. Track athletes and experts believed the human body just wasn’t built to beat the 4 minute mile barrier. 

After a subpar showing at the 1952 Olympics, medical student and Britain’s best mile runner, Roger Bannister, had a clear goal – to be the first athlete to run a mile under 4 minutes. 

Mind over matter legend, Roger Bannister

Due to his rigorous scholastic schedule studying to be a neurologist, Bannister would train his body physically running sparingly – a simple 30 minute daily interval routine was all he needed to prepare his body. While training physically was important, his self belief and vision made all the difference. 

With a clear stretch goal (his best previous mile time was 4:03), the Harrow, England native would often close his eyes and visualize every step of the race. While creating this image mentally before it happened, Bannister would see the finish line, hear the roar of the crowd, and feel the excitement of making history. 

What separated Bannister from the others who had tried and failed, was that he believed with all of his might that he could do it. He even would place a little piece of paper in his shoe while he ran that read 3:58. 

This belief, clear vision, and determined practice paid off. 

On May 6, 1954, the world of track and field was forever altered. Once was thought as impossible, was now possible. On an overcast and windy day (which finally died down), medical student Roger Bannister defied the odds and ran a world record, 3:59.4 second mile. The 3,000 plus crowd went wild. He had done it. Bannister defied what even physicians said couldn’t be done. What began first in his mind and felt in his heart, later became a reality in the record books. Bannister inspired millions that day – including his rival – Australia’s John Landry. 

Just 46 days after Bannister shocked the world, Landy beat Bannister’s record.  Not to be out done, the two paired off in what was dubbed as The Miracle Mile in August later that year. While trailing most of the race, Bannister beat Landy on the final turn.

In heroic fashion, Bannister passed Landy running down the final stretch. Landy made the mistake of looking back to his left, while Bannister passed him on the outside.

Bannister defied the odds again. What seemed like a raced he couldn’t win (he trailed nearly the entire race), Bannister battled back and won more from his faith than from his feet.

Bannister’s goal that was written in his shoe came true. He posted a time of 3:58.8, while Landy finished just behind him with a time of 3:59.6. At that point in history, both runners had posted the top four mile times in the world. 

For decades, people thought that breaking the 4 minute mile was unbeatable, but because of Bannister’s accomplishment, he inspired nearly a dozen runners to beat the 4 mile barrier within two years of his record.

KEY LEARNINGS:

• Bannister turned his 1952 Olympics failure of not medaling into fuel to improve
• He started his training with a clear goal, and visualized it occurring daily
• Bannister broke his goal down into smaller goals including shaving each lap by a specific time
• He carried over his discipline as an athlete into a successful career as a doctor of neurology
• After decades of believing something couldn’t be done, Bannister inspired hundreds of track athletes to BELIEVE and BEAT the 4 minute mile

Look at your life right now. What do you or others around you think to be impossible? Use Roger Bannister’s story as inspiration and as an example: With a clear vision, belief, and practice… you can create the Bannister Effect and turn the impossible into possible… and inspire others to do the same.

Aside from needing to learn how to iron his pants, Collin Henderson founded Project Rise to be used as a platform to inspire others and teams to master their mindset, and be the best version of themselves.

4 TRADITIONS WE DO TO IMPROVE OUR KID’S MANNERS AND CONFIDENCE

If you are a parent and have young children, here are two concepts to consider.

“Some habits are more important than others – the right habits have the power to transform your life.”

— Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit 

“The type of emotional support that a child receives during the first three and a half years has an effect on education, social life and romantic relationships even 20 or 30 years later.”

— K. Lee Raby, Lead author of a study published in the journal: Child Development

Being a student of positive psychology, having a deep curiosity in human performance, and being a devoted father of three children 5 years and under, I’d like to share four simple activities that we do as a family in the attempt to shape their confidence, manners, and well being.

Baylor (5), Winnie (1), Bellamy (3)

By no means do Kendra and I have everything figured out as parents – trust me, we fail a lot (is Mickey Mouse a legal babysitter?). Nor are our children perfect angels. We have our fair share of tantrums and timeouts. However, with the aim to guide our kids to be their best self, I’m going to share a few family rituals centered around what are called keystone habits. 

A keystone habit can spark chain reactions that help other good habits take hold. 

Below are four keystone habits that Kendra and I hope will set off a cascade of more good for Baylor, Bellamy, Winnie, and baby number four coming next month (prayers for sanity and sleep are welcome!).

1. Eat Meals Together As a Family

Eating together as a family around the table – especially dinner – may seem small, but has a huge impact.

As Duhigg writes in his book The Power of Habit, “Families who habitually eat dinner together seem to raise children with better homework skills, higher grades, greater emotional control, and more confidence.”

We make it a point to sit down together, put our phones away, turn the TV off, and pretend like it’s the 1950’s and talk. We 100% make this a consistent routine. Kendra cooks one meal for everyone – even our 1.5 year old Winnie is expected to eat what is served. No one can leave the table without asking permission to be excused.

This nightly habit helps our kids to learn patience, discipline, and to expand their palate. These skills will serve them as they are older and this definitely pays off when we eat outside our house or at a dinner date (packing different food for the kids is too much work for us!). 

2. Thank You Cheer

One of Kendra and my non-negotiables as parents is to raise our little Hens with manners. The two pillars of having sound manners are these two phrases: Please and Thank You. 
A fun way we model and encourage this behavior is what we call the Thank You Cheer. While we are sitting down together as a family and our meal is served, whichever parent didn’t prepare the food (which 95% of the time is me) leads this group activity of thankfulness. 

This cheer was inspired by the “team breaks” I used to do as an athlete. After practice, we used to all put our hands in the middle of the huddle and all yell out the same word or phrase in unison.

When we are all sitting around the table as a family, we can’t put our hands together as a group (#shortarms #can’treach). Thus, each person puts one hand on top of their other hand – which signals they are ready to begin the cheer. Once all hands are in the correct position, on the count of three, we all lift our hands in the air and yell, “Thanks Mom (or Dad)!” 

This is a simple and fun interactive game that uses movement to practice the winning habit of simply saying, “thank you.” Often times if I forget, either Baylor or Bellamy will put their hands on top of each other to signal the Thank You Cheer. Gotta love the accountability! 

This is a fact that I know to be true: manners go a long way…especially saying these powerful words daily, “Thank you.”

3. Praying Out Loud Before We Eat

Bella is our resident prayer expert. She starts every prayer with, “Dear Jesus, we pray for our life…”

Public speaking was a big fear of mine in my teens and as a young adult. I wasn’t alone with this trepidation. National surveys show that more people fear giving a formal speech then death. 

Knowing this, we’ve tried to help our kids practice public speaking at a young age – even as simple as praying out loud. 

I usually lead our family in prayer, but several times a week (and now it seems almost daily) we let Baylor and Bellamy take turns praying out loud before we eat. We’ve noticed over time that both have improved in choosing their words and speaking with more confidence. Bellamy is more of a natural and will even volunteer to pray when we have guests over (this makes me a proud daddy), but Baylor has made great strides as well. Months before, he wouldn’t even participate, but after much practice, he now volunteers. 

This routine serves three purposes: 

• It helps our kids establish a pattern of giving thanks
• They get a microdose of public speaking practice
• This encourages them to connect spiritually

We believe these are all great habits that one can’t enough of. 

4. Happy Breakfast/Super Excited Dinner

Henderson baby #4 coming soon!

One weekend this winter, our entire house got hit with the Black Plague. It started with me and I passed this gift of death to our whole family. It was nasty. I mean, stuff was coming out of every orifice. 

This was Baylor’s first time throwing up and it really triggered what we call “Mr. Worry.” That experience was quite traumatic for him and he often would worry that it would come back again. 

The fear of getting sick even impacted his confidence and desire of going to school.  Because of this we had several tearful dropoffs. Especially when he overheard his teacher discussing with a parent about a student being sick. On this day, Kendra even had to come pick him up. 
Recognizing this pattern, Kendra and I have developed several strategies to quiet Mr. Worry. One of these techniques is called Happy Breakfast and Super Excited Dinner. Understanding the powerful effects that starting your day off with gratitude can have (ex: writing in a gratitude journal, saying prayers, etc), I created a game that the kids love. In the end, you can’t be grateful and fearful in the same time. 

How can you trick your kids into being grateful?….Make a game out of it. 

We all take turns going around the table sharing one thing that makes us happy. After each person shares, we count to three and all at once pound our clinched hands into the table and say together, “Happy!” 

This act helps us focus on positive things and gets the day started on the right foot – especially for Baylor. This helps him, and our entire family begin the day with a smile. 
Once we circle back as a family at dinner, we go around the table and share what made us super excited from the day – it could be an activity, a game, a toy, or even a person. After each person’s turn, we point our fingers in the air, twirl them around, then touch the table in a quiet almost whisper like voice and say, “Ssssssssuuuper excited.” (With a big emphasis on the “S”).
These exercises foster communication, dialogue, and tend to quiet Mr Worry. Winnie usually says she is either happy or excited about Moana, but I love to hear what B and B come up with each day. 

After doing this for several months now, the older kids usually lead this breakfast and dinner tradition. I’m proud to say that Baylor closed out the school year without any nerves being dropped off at preschool. A lot of this growth was his own doing, but I believe this daily habit played a significant role as well. 

Great read for parents with kids of all ages

What are you doing to improve your child’s well being?

Kendra and I are still learning each day as parents. We have our fair share of ups and downs. But, we believe that investing in our children’s development is like compound interest – the earlier and more we invest – the greater the return for them in the future. 

I hope these four rituals spark some fun and new habits for you and your family. Taking the time to love, model manners, and have fun as a family, are the greatest investments of all. 

Collin Henderson is the creator of Project Rise, which is a platform to help individuals be the best version of themselves.