BE THE NEXT YOU

WHO DO YOU ADMIRE MOST?

Imagine meeting that person. A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to meet and have a conversation with someone that I have looked up to for a long time.

Similar to how a young wide-receiver would study Hall of Famer Jerry Rice (the GOAT) or how Michael Jackson said he studied the dance moves of James Brown and Fred Astaire to hone his craft as an entertainer... I’ve researched and created a foundation of learning from several titans in the field of personal and team performance. 

Who are you studying and learning from?

So when the moment came to learn and pick the brain from one of my heroes, I walked away thinking, “That is not how I imagined that going.” Maybe this individual was having an off day, but their position on this industry seemed the opposite of mine. I’ve had a totally different experience and the cool thing is, we don’t have to agree. I respect everyone’s right to their opinion.

After that conversation, I had a moment of clarity. A bright light bulb went off inside. For several years I’ve been trying to be the next (fill-in the blank), but in that moment I realized I need to be the next Collin Henderson. 

Everyone else is already taken. To gain a competitive advantage, be yourself.  

We live in a day and age where comparing is at an all-time high... especially with social media and the internet. We see people living a “fake-real life” by comparing their highlights to our behind the scenes. We create generalizations of how we should look, dress, talk, and act. However, what I’ve learned is the best leaders, entrepreneurs, and performers have a clarity and conviction that keeps them focused and less consumed about what others think... and that is their greatest power.  

One of the most influential and attractive traits is authenticity. 

How you are different is your strength.

This reminds me of a story I heard about a young unknown rapper telling the iconic producer and music creator Pharrell Williams that he wanted to be the next Andre 3000 (from the legendary hip hop duo Outcast... shout out to the ATL!). Pharrell sat back, listened, then offered the best advice. He said, “The world already has an Andre. You should be the next you.”

Wow. Powerful. As I look back on what I’ve accomplished, what I strive to achieve, and the lives I want to impact, this recent experience has inspired me to triple down on myself and to just be me. Though I am similar in many ways to my hero that I recently met, I am completely different in more ways.

Instead of comparing, I need to remember to use what I have and play to my strengths. 

So now let’s talk about you.  How often do you find yourself comparing and thinking you need to be like someone else to be accepted and successful? Now don’t get me wrong, I believe that success leaves clues and we should model certain behaviors of the elite performers in our field, but to take your impact, happiness, and success to the next level... you have to find that sweet spot of authenticity now (in the present) and who you are striving to be (the best version of you in the future).

You can be and achieve anything.

Don’t find yourself, create yourself.  

The only limit you have is the ceiling you place on yourself. Celebrate how you are different. Stand out for the right reasons. Create a new lane never seen before.  First they will second-guess you, then they will demean you, then they will copy and want to be you. Think of Prince (RIP), the Williams sisters (Serena and Venus), Mother Teresa, MLK, Jeff Bazos, Gandhi, and Dwayne Johnson... thank goodness they didn’t copy others, but used what they had to innovate, impact those around them, and even change the world. 

Now it’s your turn.  

You don’t need validation from the person you admire the most or anyone for that matter. Take some time to think about what traits, experiences, and strengths that separate you. Instead of conforming, start creating and innovating. Don’t obsess over what you do not have, simply use what you have, and grow your skills every day. That’s what I plan to do. I hope you do too.

Collin Henderson is a leader in the personal development space. His books, online courses, podcast, and workshops teach individuals and teams how to have an elite mindset, create high-performance habits, and development a winning culture. Check out his virtual training here.

5 SIMPLE WAYS TO BOOST YOUR CONFIDENCE

Do you have a re-occurring dream? I do. The scene is usually the same. I’m back in college playing football and I’m completely stressed because either my legs feel so heavy I can hardly move them, I’m missing a piece of equipment needed to play, or I’m stuck on the bench because I was playing below my potential. 

Reflecting on my playing career, this re-occurring dream isn’t too far from my experience. Though I was a starter and contributor, my lack of confidence, consistent routines, and no recovery plan (I often over-worked myself), my true ability was not fully actualized.

Because of this experience, my passion is to help performers not feel the same way I did, but show them that there is a different way.

It all comes down to two factors: Behaviors and Belief. You need both for lasting success. 

Behaviors, as in habits, and belief, meaning confidence in your abilities. Based off of my research in high performance and reflecting on my old limiting mindset, below are 5 behaviors and mental strategies you can use to gain confidence and a deep sense of belief.  

1. ITS NOT ABOUT YOU

Rule number one is this: not everyone is looking at you or obsessing over your every move. People are more worried about how they look. There are other people on the court or field of competition too and all eyes are not solely on you. This reality is very freeing. No one goes to bed thinking about your mistakes. Remember it’s all about the team, and not you. If you are part of a collective unit, repeat this statement daily, “It’s not about me.” This gloabal perspective will help your performance...especially if you put your Instagram and Snapchat away too (reminder: social media is not real life). 

2. STOP JUDGING  

Being in a flow state means being completely present without judgement and in the zone. A hinderence of being completely in the moment is an over judgement of both good and bad outcomes. Remember to give yourself grace when you make a mistake...it’s part of the journey and inevitable. Also, if you have success, stop processing what people will think and how your future might change. Just keep competing and stay in the present moment.

Bad thoughts are bad. Good thoughts are good. No thought is best. 

Excellence is not in the past or future...excellence is in the now. If you are judging your every move, you are robbing yourself the chance of being in flow (the place where ballers live and happiness reside).

3. ADVERTISE 

Remember to talk to yourself, not listen to yourself. Make a list of your strengths, past successful performances, and how you have put in the work. Your brain can only process one thought at a time. If you allow it to just wonder, it will come up with many negative self fulfilling prophecies, past failures, and future fears. During down time, in-between plays, or competitive moments, advertise to yourself (through self-talk) that you have what it takes and that you belong.

Also, use imagery of the movements you’d like to execute. Create a movie of yourself in your brain and attach a positive emotion to it. Dress rehearse it mentally, then execute it physically. Quality thought = quality movement. Convince yourself and your subconscious that you have what it takes by getting your mental reps in daily. Question: How can you become what you don’t believe? Increase your belief by visualizing your execution before it happens. When that moment comes up in real life, your subconscious and body will already know what to do because you have been there before. If you use imagery (all your senses) your brain cannot tell the difference...just like a dream. Learn how to create a future memory.

4. ITS JUST A GAME

Each performance is not a matter of life or death. Your self-worth should not be directly tied to one thing (being an athlete, sales professional, or whatever it is that you do). You don’t need to do more to be more. Whether you go 10-10 or 0-10, your value to the world is the same... SO KEEP SHOOTING!

Excellence is found in authenticity and effort. Compete to be yourself...flaws, strengths, errors and all. Remember: person over performer. Treat people the right way, work hard, improve daily, and be a championship teammate, family member, friend, co-worker...in the end, that is all that matters.  

5. FOCUS ON THE ROOT NOT THE FRUIT

Reflecting back on most of my career, I would often focus on elements outside of my control: statistics, other people’s opinions, outcomes, etc. That is the fruit. Do not allow your attention to be seduced by the factors that are outside of your control. Instead focus on the root (which you can control): your habits, routines, fundamentals, and core values.

What you give your attention to, you give your energy to.

JUST DO YOU! It’s none of your business what other people think of you...you can’t control that or specific outcomes anyway. Stay true to yourself and your process and good things will come. 

You are your only competition...no one else. I hope you want your opponent’s best, because that will help bring out the best in you. Judge yourself on growth, effort, and authenticity (did I have the courage and vulnerability to truly go for it?) . The rest is just out of your control.

You got this! 

To learn and utilize other techniques to improve your confidence and performance, get a copy of the Flow Journal. This workbook will help give you the tool-kit (which I lacked) needed to turn your happy dreams (unlike my nightmares) into reality. 

Watch the 2 minute summary of the Flow Journal HERE. 

Collin Henderson is an author, speaker, and High Performance Coach. He helps athletes and business professionals have a winning mindset and championship habits to be their best.  

A STORY OF SELF-IMAGE

Eric was not doing very well. This junior in high school was barely getting by with his grades. He hated school and several of his teachers did not believe that he would even graduate. While in class, Eric barely paid attention, and he would spend more time being the class clown than listening and doing his school work.

After seeing his first semester report card that junior year, Eric told his mom, “I’m just not very smart. I don’t think that I’m cut out to go to college.” He added, “The SATs are coming up, but what’s the use of even taking them?”

Eric’s mom was very supportive and encouraged his son to give the SATs a shot. “You have nothing to lose,” she told him. “There may be some colleges you can get into, but you’ll never know your capabilities if you do not at least take that test.”

“OK mom, OK, I’ll take the test,” he said begrudgingly. The next day Eric signed up.

A month went by and with no surprise, Eric hadn’t studied at all. He showed up to take the SAT and felt that it was hard, but that he did know some of the answers. There were many tough questions though, which he tried to cheat, but everyone’s test around him looked different than his. He did his best to at least write down an answer and not leave one blank. When Eric finished, he turned his test in with a sigh of relief and said, “I’m glad that’s over.”

Several months went by and Eric’s behavior started to get even worse. He went to detention for fighting after school and he was even failing his chemistry class. Eric’s mom was stressed worrying about her boy when an envelope arrived in the mail. It was the results of his SAT test. After school that day they opened it together not expecting much.

Anticipating the worst, they received an extreme surprise...they saw his score: 1500 (out of 1600). They both almost fainted. “What!” Eric’s mother screamed. “A 1500! Is that right? Eric, did you cheat?”

“No mom I didn’t. I promise,” Eric responded. “To be honest, I tried, but everyone’s test was different. Maybe I am smart after all.”

They both couldn’t believe it. Maybe Eric was intelligent, but just wasn’t focusing or trying hard in school? This test result really motivated Eric and he began to make some changes. He stopped skipping class. He paid more attention during lectures and for the first time in his life he was turning all of his homework assignments in on time. Eric really had a transformation. His mom was most excited about the fact that Eric stopped hanging out with certain individuals that were bringing him down with their behavior.

“Maybe college is for me.” Eric told his mom.

With all of his hard work during his senior year in high school, Eric was able to get his GPA up to a level where he could graduate. His improved focus and commitment paid off. Upon graduation, Eric was accepted and attended a small four year college about two hours north of his home.

While in college, he thrived in that environment and eventually graduated with honors. Years later, Eric became the CEO of a popular magazine brand and he credits the turning point of his life, receiving his high SAT score.

The most powerful force is how you see yourself. 

“My self-image really changed after taking that test,” He often would say. “For once in my life I actually believed in myself.”

While coming home for Christmas to his mom’s house with his wife and two children many years later (16 years after he graduated from high school), Eric’s mom had an envelope waiting for him. It was from the College Board and the Educational Testing Service (ETS), which developed the SAT. “Eric, this is for you,” his mom said while sipping a cup of coffee. “This envelope arrived about two weeks ago.”

While reading this letter standing around the kitchen island, the ETS informed Eric that there was a mistake on his test. While performing an internal audit, they found that in the past 16 years, a handful of individuals were sent the wrong test results. They apologized, but his score was actually a 710—not a 1500.

“What? How can this be?” Eric asked his mom with astonishment.

“Who cares about this letter dear?” His mom responded. “That mistake helped you find your true potential.”

She was right. Even though Eric’s grades and SAT results would suggest that his intelligence during high school was average or below average versus his peers, Eric turned his life around. By having a more positive self-image, his habits, actions, and behaviors changed.

This lesson, which is actually based on a true story, is this: Excellence is not fixed, but can grow…and it all starts with how you see yourself.

How is your self-image?

It’s time to believe in yourself, take control of your life, and begin to change key habits that will help lead you to success. You do not need a false test score, external validation, your past, or current situation to begin your own journey of self-confidence. Decide today that you are enough and that you have everything you need to reach or exceed your potential.

The power of belief and self-image are the most powerful forces we have. Change your self-talk and your image will improve. Change your image, and your actions will match that image. With an improved self-image and actions, your results will reach a higher level. With better results, the stronger your belief will become.

What areas of your life are you self-sabotaging with a negative image of yourself?

• Scholastics
• Athletics
• Socially
• Dating
• Marriage  
• Your fitness  
• Trying new things
• Career opportunities
• Public speaking
• Bouncing back from failure

What steps can you take to improve your self-image?

USE THE SVP METHOD TO IMPROVE YOUR SELF IMAGE. Take out a piece of paper and answer these questions. This is a form of self-advertising. You are using your conscious brain to advertise and reshape your self-image to your subconscious brain.

• S: What are my Strengths? What do I naturally excel at and enjoy?
• V: What is my Vision? Set a goal for yourself and work consistently on achieving that goal.
• V: What are my Values? List key words that will guide your behavior. These guiding principles will help you stay on course to achieve your vision.  
• P: Write down where you had Past success. This is an affirmation exercise and you are remembering that you can achieve greatest...it’s time to do it again.  
• P: What’s your Purpose? Why do you want your goal? No purpose...no passion. Having a clear purpose will help you push through the hard times.  

Rome was not built in a day...nor will the best version of you be either. Identify your strengths. Focus on your vision. Stop comparing and obsessing what others think of you. Zero in on your values and just be you. But, more importantly, take the necessary actions needed to grow and improve...that is where ultimate fulfillment is found.

Make a change for the better. Commit. Believe. Work hard. Persist. And lastly, give yourself GRACE. If you follow this recipe, you will unlock your full potential and RISE...just like Eric.

Check out my book Project Rise and it’s counterpart the Rise Journal and learn life-changing tools to be the best version of you.