GPS: 3 Keys to Create Clarity & Direction in 2020

Instead of coming up with a New Year’s Resolution this year, I’d like to challenge you to try a different approach. Shift your perspective from having goals to having a guiding mission.

Best selling author Simon Sinek calls this playing the infinite game vs. the finite game. The finite game is fleeting and temporary, where the infinite game is forever… there is no finish line.

Legendary Harvard researcher and psychiatrist, Dr. John Ratey believes that connecting to a life mission is the most important element that drives performance. To help you become more of an infinite player, connection to a mission, and not quit a temporary New Year’s Resolution, I’m going to teach you a simple system to guide your vision and behaviors. I call it developing your GPS.

GPS

When GPS devices came out in the mid 2000’s, they changed the way we drove and traveled. Just type the coordinates into a machine and magically you have a voice and a path guiding you toward your destination. 

I believe that living life without a clear mission and personal philosophy is just like driving without a GPS system. Without a GPS, you will be more likely to feel stuck, lost, and confused. What about when you are faced with detours and bumpy roads? Having a framework to guide your actions is critical to optimize your performance. 

To help people on their path to mastery, I encourage them to create their own GPS system… and now you should too. Here’s what GPS stands for:

G – Guiding Principles

P – Purpose Statement 

S – Slogan 

Guiding Principles

With clear values, decisions are easy. Write down 3 – 4 words that are most important to you. How do you want to be remembered? What do you feel most strongly about? What traits do you value the most?  If you stand for nothing, you will fall for anything. Get clear in this crucial area of your life. 

Example: NBA champion player and coach, Steve Kerr’s guiding principles are: Joy, Compassion, Mindfulness, Competition

Below are the guiding pillars for the 2019 National Champions, Virginia Cavaliers Men’s Basketball Team, lead by Tony Bennett.

Purpose Statement 

Not feeling motivated?… then it’s time to find a new motive. Having a clear purpose will give you a deeper meaning to both your success and suffering. The goal is the pull, the “why” is the push. Why do you do what you do? Get clear on the reasons behind your actions.

Example: The founder of Toms Shoes, Blake Mycoskie’s purpose statement is “One for one.” For every pair of shoe his company sells, they give a pair to a child in need.

Need help uncovering your purpose? Read Man’s Search for Meaning and learn how Dr. Viktor Frankl survived the Nazi concentration camps and came to understand the most important driver for human survival is a deep meaning to something bigger than oneself. Book link here. 

Slogan

What’s your mission? What do you want on your gravestone? What’s a simple phrase that will remind you take action? Put together a 2 – 5 word sentence that can sum up your main core beliefs. This mantra will provide clarity and help guide you and those around you along the success road. 

Examples: Always compete (Pete Carroll). Make the bigtime where you are (Frosty Westering).

Think of moments when having your own internal GPS would have served you. 

The top leaders and performers in the world have extreme clarity and can say “yes” to all of these statements:

• I know who I am

• I know what I want

• I know what I stand for

Can you say the same? Developing your own GPS just might be the most important self-awareness exercise that helps you gain vision, meaning, and conviction. Below is my GPS for 2020 and beyond:

G - Gratitude, Giving, & Growing

P - Transform lives and normalize mental skills training

S - Let’s Go!

Stop playing the finite game and start playing the infinite game with your GPS as your guide.

Collin Henderson is the founder of Master Your Mindset. He is a keynote speaker, high-performance consultant, author, and podcast host. Contact him here to learn how you and your team can win the inner-game.

Need more clarity… get Collin’s books here (see below) and gain the tools to be the best version of you.

A STORY OF SELF-IMAGE

Eric was not doing very well. This junior in high school was barely getting by with his grades. He hated school and several of his teachers did not believe that he would even graduate. While in class, Eric barely paid attention, and he would spend more time being the class clown than listening and doing his school work.

After seeing his first semester report card that junior year, Eric told his mom, “I’m just not very smart. I don’t think that I’m cut out to go to college.” He added, “The SATs are coming up, but what’s the use of even taking them?”

Eric’s mom was very supportive and encouraged his son to give the SATs a shot. “You have nothing to lose,” she told him. “There may be some colleges you can get into, but you’ll never know your capabilities if you do not at least take that test.”

“OK mom, OK, I’ll take the test,” he said begrudgingly. The next day Eric signed up.

A month went by and with no surprise, Eric hadn’t studied at all. He showed up to take the SAT and felt that it was hard, but that he did know some of the answers. There were many tough questions though, which he tried to cheat, but everyone’s test around him looked different than his. He did his best to at least write down an answer and not leave one blank. When Eric finished, he turned his test in with a sigh of relief and said, “I’m glad that’s over.”

Several months went by and Eric’s behavior started to get even worse. He went to detention for fighting after school and he was even failing his chemistry class. Eric’s mom was stressed worrying about her boy when an envelope arrived in the mail. It was the results of his SAT test. After school that day they opened it together not expecting much.

Anticipating the worst, they received an extreme surprise...they saw his score: 1500 (out of 1600). They both almost fainted. “What!” Eric’s mother screamed. “A 1500! Is that right? Eric, did you cheat?”

“No mom I didn’t. I promise,” Eric responded. “To be honest, I tried, but everyone’s test was different. Maybe I am smart after all.”

They both couldn’t believe it. Maybe Eric was intelligent, but just wasn’t focusing or trying hard in school? This test result really motivated Eric and he began to make some changes. He stopped skipping class. He paid more attention during lectures and for the first time in his life he was turning all of his homework assignments in on time. Eric really had a transformation. His mom was most excited about the fact that Eric stopped hanging out with certain individuals that were bringing him down with their behavior.

“Maybe college is for me.” Eric told his mom.

With all of his hard work during his senior year in high school, Eric was able to get his GPA up to a level where he could graduate. His improved focus and commitment paid off. Upon graduation, Eric was accepted and attended a small four year college about two hours north of his home.

While in college, he thrived in that environment and eventually graduated with honors. Years later, Eric became the CEO of a popular magazine brand and he credits the turning point of his life, receiving his high SAT score.

The most powerful force is how you see yourself. 

“My self-image really changed after taking that test,” He often would say. “For once in my life I actually believed in myself.”

While coming home for Christmas to his mom’s house with his wife and two children many years later (16 years after he graduated from high school), Eric’s mom had an envelope waiting for him. It was from the College Board and the Educational Testing Service (ETS), which developed the SAT. “Eric, this is for you,” his mom said while sipping a cup of coffee. “This envelope arrived about two weeks ago.”

While reading this letter standing around the kitchen island, the ETS informed Eric that there was a mistake on his test. While performing an internal audit, they found that in the past 16 years, a handful of individuals were sent the wrong test results. They apologized, but his score was actually a 710—not a 1500.

“What? How can this be?” Eric asked his mom with astonishment.

“Who cares about this letter dear?” His mom responded. “That mistake helped you find your true potential.”

She was right. Even though Eric’s grades and SAT results would suggest that his intelligence during high school was average or below average versus his peers, Eric turned his life around. By having a more positive self-image, his habits, actions, and behaviors changed.

This lesson, which is actually based on a true story, is this: Excellence is not fixed, but can grow…and it all starts with how you see yourself.

How is your self-image?

It’s time to believe in yourself, take control of your life, and begin to change key habits that will help lead you to success. You do not need a false test score, external validation, your past, or current situation to begin your own journey of self-confidence. Decide today that you are enough and that you have everything you need to reach or exceed your potential.

The power of belief and self-image are the most powerful forces we have. Change your self-talk and your image will improve. Change your image, and your actions will match that image. With an improved self-image and actions, your results will reach a higher level. With better results, the stronger your belief will become.

What areas of your life are you self-sabotaging with a negative image of yourself?

• Scholastics
• Athletics
• Socially
• Dating
• Marriage  
• Your fitness  
• Trying new things
• Career opportunities
• Public speaking
• Bouncing back from failure

What steps can you take to improve your self-image?

USE THE SVP METHOD TO IMPROVE YOUR SELF IMAGE. Take out a piece of paper and answer these questions. This is a form of self-advertising. You are using your conscious brain to advertise and reshape your self-image to your subconscious brain.

• S: What are my Strengths? What do I naturally excel at and enjoy?
• V: What is my Vision? Set a goal for yourself and work consistently on achieving that goal.
• V: What are my Values? List key words that will guide your behavior. These guiding principles will help you stay on course to achieve your vision.  
• P: Write down where you had Past success. This is an affirmation exercise and you are remembering that you can achieve greatest...it’s time to do it again.  
• P: What’s your Purpose? Why do you want your goal? No purpose...no passion. Having a clear purpose will help you push through the hard times.  

Rome was not built in a day...nor will the best version of you be either. Identify your strengths. Focus on your vision. Stop comparing and obsessing what others think of you. Zero in on your values and just be you. But, more importantly, take the necessary actions needed to grow and improve...that is where ultimate fulfillment is found.

Make a change for the better. Commit. Believe. Work hard. Persist. And lastly, give yourself GRACE. If you follow this recipe, you will unlock your full potential and RISE...just like Eric.

Check out my book Project Rise and it’s counterpart the Rise Journal and learn life-changing tools to be the best version of you.

4 Steps to Improve Your Relationship

So it's my birthday this Saturday (November 4). Yo, I'm pumped! More candles on my cake. Like most years, my close family asks me what I want for a birthday present, and I often find myself scrambling for an answer.

My younger self would probably say, some new Jordan's, clothes, a new gadget or piece of technology, but as I've gotten older and wiser, I'm seeking what true happiness feels like. During my journey of self discovery, I've learned that joy doesn't come from things, but from deep relationships.

And there's no relationship more important to me than the one I have with my amazing wife Kendra. All I want for my birthday is to connect on a deeper level with my wife. Honestly, that's it. I'm not saying this to get brownie points, I truly mean it.

This sentiment brings me back to an epiphany I had while watching a Ted Talk last summer. While doing my best to multitask by checking out a few Ted Talks on YouTube while watching the kids in our playroom (I promise Kendra, no one ate poop or swallowed Lego's), I stumbled across a speaker discussing a powerful insight into the human condition. He shared an 80 year study from Harvard that looked into what brings happiness. Tracking 268 Harvard sophomores and their off-spring since 1938, this study gave the researchers a wealth of data on what brings people true joy.

Their conclusion: Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives, the study revealed.

“The surprising finding is that our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence on our health,” said Robert Waldinger, director of the study, a psychiatrist at Massachusetts General Hospital and a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. “Taking care of your body is important, but tending to your relationships is a form of self-care too. That, I think, is the revelation.”

Learn more about the Harvard happiness study here

If you are like I was for most of my life, where you look for status, things, money, accolades, and outcomes to bring happiness, then you will send yourself on a fruitless journey to a bottomless pit of emptiness.

Instead of titles and things, focus on people and relationships. You can't take things with you when you're gone from this earth. To live a glorious life, I believe we need to think about two L words: legacy and love. What kind of light did we shine, and what kind of wake did we leave behind? Even if that light and that wake was designed for one person.

Let me ask you a question, what's one relationship that is most important to you? Let's start there, and capitalize on this amazing opportunity. It could be a friendship, your marriage, a parent-child relationship; it could be a mentor-mentee relationship. My challenge to you today is this...how can you make your most important relationship better?

This is kind of like how I used to shop for clothes. I used to buy many cheaper pieces of clothing that would not last very long, because the quality wasn't there. Now, I'm into buying less garments, but at a much higher price and quality. I now look for the one timeless piece that is worth investing in (sorry T. Do, you told me about the strategy a long time ago, but like most men I'm a slow learner).

What's more important to you, quantity or quality? I found that quality is more important than quantity.

Here are 4 keys to improve your most important relationship. If you do these four steps, I promise you, it will be the best gift you can give to yourself and someone else special to you.

1. Love Yourself First.

This is a cliché of an example, but I often use it to make a point. When there is extreme turbulence in an aircraft, the first thing that they teach you to do is put the oxygen mask on yourself first, before you can help anybody else. How can you be of value to anybody else, if you don't have self respect and love for yourself?

You have so much to offer someone. Forgive yourself. Love yourself. Accept who you truly are and don't feel like you need to fit-in. The goal is to belong, as in, belong to yourself first...then you'll be ready to belong to somebody else.

2. Be Vulnerable.

To have ultimate courage, is to be vulnerable. I believe that the truest form of connection is to be authentic with others. Being able to share our pains as well as our gains takes a level of bravery. When was the last time you sat down with someone you truly care about and asked them what is on their heart? When was the last time you truly shared with somebody what is on your heart? Put the phones away and dig deep. You should never worry nor win alone.

Make today the day where you really open up to that one person that you care about the most. Invite them to do the same, and watch your relationship rise. I believe that trust is the ultimate superpower. If you have vulnerability and trust with another person, your heart and souls become stronger, healthier, and true joy is set free from our internal chains of jealousy, insecurity, and the lie of perfection.

3. Be Intentional.

Greatness doesn't just appear. Whether you're an Olympic athlete, or a successful entrepreneur, nothing ever happens by accident. Effort and persistence are the engine that drives achievement. People in relationships that are struggling, I'll sometimes ask, "Are you putting in the same effort you did now as you did when you began the relationship?" That's usually a wake up call. I'm tired of the excuses, "I'm so busy." "We're so busy." Shut the F up. The phone call can wait. Answering that text message or email can wait. Stop lying to yourself, and glorifying the hustle. Having a deep, loving, and committed relationship is much cooler than how many followers you have on Instagram, or digits in your bank account.

Here's a thought, schedule quality time in your calendar just like you would any other important meeting.

I promise you this, when you look back on your life, I'll bet that you'll yearn more for feelings, moments, and experiences with somebody you love, versus watching a TV show, sleeping, working 70 hours per week, or buying some random thing that you won't care about in a year. Make some memories today, and do it with somebody you love.

4. Give More Than You Receive. 

Kendra and I often discuss the power of giving and expecting nothing in return. That's the core mission of our marriage. We don't always execute this perfectly, but that is our intent. When giving and serving is the focus, call it God or the universe,  but you will receive much more than you will focusing solely on yourself.

I think we just get lazy and lost in our own ego. We let pride stand in the way of our progress - as individuals and as a pair. Imagine if two people shared the common mission to truly serve the other person for the better. Picture what miracles and joy can be created with that mindset.

How can you serve your go-to person better? What's one thing you can do today that you know will fill their bucket? If this is the focus for each of you, you will experience the synergy of sacrifice and service. You both will rise to a fulfillment way more high then seeking your desires on your own.  I call this a RISE Relationship.

Happy Relationship Gameplan: Do this today and watch your happiness and relationship RISE.

1. Identify the relationship that is most important to you.

2. Tell yourself that you are amazing, that you are awesome just the way you are, and you have what it takes to bring value to the person you love the most.

3. Be intentional about scheduling quality time, and doing something that you enjoy together with that person. But here's the twist, make that date, or that event all about the other person, and see what happens.

4. Open up and be vulnerable about something that you don't normally talk about. Ask the other person to do the same.

This might be strange or uncomfortable for you, or you might be a pro at this. Either way, what do you have to lose?

I can't wait to do this with Kendra on my birthday date night. Who knows, if I follow steps 1-4 above, I might be able to wear my birthday suit later. 😜🤣😈

Get your copy of my books Project Rise and the Rise Journal and learn 8 key habits to be your best self! 

Leggo! #RiseUp #BestVersionOfYou