MY 30 SECOND PHONE ADDICTION HACK

While walking through the airport the other day, I made a startling observation—whether I was standing in line to check my bags, walking to my terminal, waiting in line to get a bottled water, or sitting at my gate—nearly everyone was on their phone. I call these individuals phone zombies: walking or sitting with their head down, checked out, and senselessly in another world. I’m often guilty of being a phone zombie as well (just ask my wife). 

Does this scene look familiar?

I’m trying to change this. 

Over a decade has passed since the release of the smartphone. No doubt these devices have helped streamline our lives into one simple operating system: our calendar, search engine, camera, main source of email, texting, GPS, Uber, TV, Netflix, video games, radio, and finding food or finding a date—the world is literally at our fingertips 24/7. 

With the explosion of social media apps, every moment of down time it seems is filled with checking our likes, comments, views, and keeping up with the Joneses. 

The new “reality TV” is watching YouTube, SnapChat and Instagram stories all day long (you can still get your fix of the Kardashians on Snap and Insta as well). While all of these features make life easier— including desperate times like keeping your kids quiet while eating at the Cheesecake Factory—this frequent phone checking habit has been shown to be as addictive as alcohol or drugs. The happy chemical dopamine is released, and we crave this neurological sensation every time we search, swipe, and tap.

However, there is a blind spot within our internal Air Traffic Control.

A 1998 study found that the more time people spent on the Internet, the more stressed, depressed, and lonely they felt. Not much has changed in nearly 20 years. A recent New York Times study showed that college students who spend more time on the Internet/Social Media are more depressed and anxious versus those who spend less time.
How many times have you said, or heard your significant other say, “Please put your phone away.” 

I’m 100% guilty of this. 

I need to spend less time on my phone, and more time on this…oh and baby number 4 is coming soon!

The world could use less screen time and more of the original face time. You know, the one without your phone. 

I’ve been on a recent kick to increase my mindfulness muscle by studying the positive effects of mono-tasking. I’ve discovered the power of living in the NOW, through putting my phone down, focusing on my breath, and listening to my thoughts. These simple actions are just too powerful to not apply. From better relationships, sleep, less stress, improved memory, and a healthier mind, body, and spirit—I’ve seen positive results while practicing a new technique when I get seduced by the Apple (iPhone). 

If you are like me and trying to break the habit of constantly checking your phone, I offer a system that I created called BREATH. It’s based on the game-changing positive psychology finding of what Dr. Heidi Grant from Columbia University calls an “if-then plan.” Meaning, you create a predetermined plan to substitute a bad habit with a more productive one. For example, if X happens, then I’ll do Y. 

If-then plans have been proven to increase the likelihood of breaking a bad habit by nearly 300 percent!

Discover the power of NOW

When I get the urge to check my phone during the many idle moments throughout the day, I’ll practice the BREATH technique. Here it is:

B – Breathe
R – Release
E – Explore
A – Affirm
T – Thankful
H – Hope

BREATHE
When I have a break in the action—in my car, on the couch, or standing in a line, instead of checking my likes and emails, I’ll focus my attention on my breathing. I’ll take one to three deep breaths in through my nose, and out through my mouth. This simple act refocuses my energy, and changes my physiology (and urge open my phone). Trust me, the emails can wait. 

RELEASE
With each exhale, I release any tension or tightness in my body. I do a quick body scan, and relax my tense shoulders and tight butt cheeks (what can I say, I love leg days at the gym). As I continue to exhale, I release any negativity or unproductive thoughts that I’ve been stressing over. 

EXPLORE
In this relaxed state, I allow my mind to wander wherever it wants to go. I try to let my subconscious brain take over. The goal is to explore how I can make the day better for myself and for others. 

AFFIRM
You don’t need permission from anyone to be great. Instead of relying on likes, comments, or views to improve my self confidence, I give myself a few words of affirmation. Plato once said, “The first and greatest victory is over self.” Self love is sometimes the hardest one to give. By practicing positive self talk, I use this time to focus on my strengths, and get less consumed by my blemishes and shortcomings (which is an easy trap to fall into using social media—even for a husband and father of three like me).

THANKFUL
I’ll use this time of mindfulness to run through my gratitude checklist. I’ll visualize and feel the many blessings in my life that I’m thankful for—my wife, my kids, my health, and my career. This act of gratitude might be the most powerful step of all. 

HOPE
1 Corinthians offers the trinity of transformation: faith, HOPE, and love. I conclude my quiet me-time with a quick prayer of hope for my goals and for those I love. I see my goals as if they’re already done. I often leave this meditative state in a place of flow: completely present in the now—with myself and a larger force more powerful than me. 

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When I complete my BREATH exercise, I end up feeling more satisfaction exploring my subconscious and soul than I ever would exploring all my iPhone apps. 

Let me clarify, I’m not against smartphones. Due to work, being married, having kids, and having loving social relationships, my iPhone allows me to see and do things with much more convenience. However, I’m just trying to practice more self-care and invest more into my mental health than I am in my profile…which often times it is hard while producing a lot of creative content.

So the next time you get the urge to grab your phone while stuck in traffic, at Starbucks, having down time at home, or are at the airport, try to check-out, by checking-in to your BREATH. 

If you use this technique just three times a day, you’ll boost your inner battery, which needs a recharge, just as much as your smartphone. 

I created a free iPhone background as a visual queue for you guys – a way to remind yourself to follow these steps when you naturally would unlock your phone. 

You can download the background HERE. 

How to make this your background if you’re not familiar: Open this image, save to your phone by holding your finger down on the image until a menu pops up. Select “Save Image” – the image will now be saved in your photo album. From there, you can set as your wallpaper by selecting the image, tapping the lower left hand box with the arrow in it, and choosing the “Use as Wallpaper” option. 

Collin Henderson founded Project Rise to inspire individuals and teams to be the best version of themselves.

THE BANNISTER EFFECT

People said it couldn’t be done. It wasn’t possible. The closest any human had ever come to running under a 4 minute mile was in the 1940’s, with a time of 4:01. Track athletes and experts believed the human body just wasn’t built to beat the 4 minute mile barrier. 

After a subpar showing at the 1952 Olympics, medical student and Britain’s best mile runner, Roger Bannister, had a clear goal – to be the first athlete to run a mile under 4 minutes. 

Mind over matter legend, Roger Bannister

Due to his rigorous scholastic schedule studying to be a neurologist, Bannister would train his body physically running sparingly – a simple 30 minute daily interval routine was all he needed to prepare his body. While training physically was important, his self belief and vision made all the difference. 

With a clear stretch goal (his best previous mile time was 4:03), the Harrow, England native would often close his eyes and visualize every step of the race. While creating this image mentally before it happened, Bannister would see the finish line, hear the roar of the crowd, and feel the excitement of making history. 

What separated Bannister from the others who had tried and failed, was that he believed with all of his might that he could do it. He even would place a little piece of paper in his shoe while he ran that read 3:58. 

This belief, clear vision, and determined practice paid off. 

On May 6, 1954, the world of track and field was forever altered. Once was thought as impossible, was now possible. On an overcast and windy day (which finally died down), medical student Roger Bannister defied the odds and ran a world record, 3:59.4 second mile. The 3,000 plus crowd went wild. He had done it. Bannister defied what even physicians said couldn’t be done. What began first in his mind and felt in his heart, later became a reality in the record books. Bannister inspired millions that day – including his rival – Australia’s John Landry. 

Just 46 days after Bannister shocked the world, Landy beat Bannister’s record.  Not to be out done, the two paired off in what was dubbed as The Miracle Mile in August later that year. While trailing most of the race, Bannister beat Landy on the final turn.

In heroic fashion, Bannister passed Landy running down the final stretch. Landy made the mistake of looking back to his left, while Bannister passed him on the outside.

Bannister defied the odds again. What seemed like a raced he couldn’t win (he trailed nearly the entire race), Bannister battled back and won more from his faith than from his feet.

Bannister’s goal that was written in his shoe came true. He posted a time of 3:58.8, while Landy finished just behind him with a time of 3:59.6. At that point in history, both runners had posted the top four mile times in the world. 

For decades, people thought that breaking the 4 minute mile was unbeatable, but because of Bannister’s accomplishment, he inspired nearly a dozen runners to beat the 4 mile barrier within two years of his record.

KEY LEARNINGS:

• Bannister turned his 1952 Olympics failure of not medaling into fuel to improve
• He started his training with a clear goal, and visualized it occurring daily
• Bannister broke his goal down into smaller goals including shaving each lap by a specific time
• He carried over his discipline as an athlete into a successful career as a doctor of neurology
• After decades of believing something couldn’t be done, Bannister inspired hundreds of track athletes to BELIEVE and BEAT the 4 minute mile

Look at your life right now. What do you or others around you think to be impossible? Use Roger Bannister’s story as inspiration and as an example: With a clear vision, belief, and practice… you can create the Bannister Effect and turn the impossible into possible… and inspire others to do the same.

Aside from needing to learn how to iron his pants, Collin Henderson founded Project Rise to be used as a platform to inspire others and teams to master their mindset, and be the best version of themselves.

4 TRADITIONS WE DO TO IMPROVE OUR KID’S MANNERS AND CONFIDENCE

If you are a parent and have young children, here are two concepts to consider.

“Some habits are more important than others – the right habits have the power to transform your life.”

— Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit 

“The type of emotional support that a child receives during the first three and a half years has an effect on education, social life and romantic relationships even 20 or 30 years later.”

— K. Lee Raby, Lead author of a study published in the journal: Child Development

Being a student of positive psychology, having a deep curiosity in human performance, and being a devoted father of three children 5 years and under, I’d like to share four simple activities that we do as a family in the attempt to shape their confidence, manners, and well being.

Baylor (5), Winnie (1), Bellamy (3)

By no means do Kendra and I have everything figured out as parents – trust me, we fail a lot (is Mickey Mouse a legal babysitter?). Nor are our children perfect angels. We have our fair share of tantrums and timeouts. However, with the aim to guide our kids to be their best self, I’m going to share a few family rituals centered around what are called keystone habits. 

A keystone habit can spark chain reactions that help other good habits take hold. 

Below are four keystone habits that Kendra and I hope will set off a cascade of more good for Baylor, Bellamy, Winnie, and baby number four coming next month (prayers for sanity and sleep are welcome!).

1. Eat Meals Together As a Family

Eating together as a family around the table – especially dinner – may seem small, but has a huge impact.

As Duhigg writes in his book The Power of Habit, “Families who habitually eat dinner together seem to raise children with better homework skills, higher grades, greater emotional control, and more confidence.”

We make it a point to sit down together, put our phones away, turn the TV off, and pretend like it’s the 1950’s and talk. We 100% make this a consistent routine. Kendra cooks one meal for everyone – even our 1.5 year old Winnie is expected to eat what is served. No one can leave the table without asking permission to be excused.

This nightly habit helps our kids to learn patience, discipline, and to expand their palate. These skills will serve them as they are older and this definitely pays off when we eat outside our house or at a dinner date (packing different food for the kids is too much work for us!). 

2. Thank You Cheer

One of Kendra and my non-negotiables as parents is to raise our little Hens with manners. The two pillars of having sound manners are these two phrases: Please and Thank You. 
A fun way we model and encourage this behavior is what we call the Thank You Cheer. While we are sitting down together as a family and our meal is served, whichever parent didn’t prepare the food (which 95% of the time is me) leads this group activity of thankfulness. 

This cheer was inspired by the “team breaks” I used to do as an athlete. After practice, we used to all put our hands in the middle of the huddle and all yell out the same word or phrase in unison.

When we are all sitting around the table as a family, we can’t put our hands together as a group (#shortarms #can’treach). Thus, each person puts one hand on top of their other hand – which signals they are ready to begin the cheer. Once all hands are in the correct position, on the count of three, we all lift our hands in the air and yell, “Thanks Mom (or Dad)!” 

This is a simple and fun interactive game that uses movement to practice the winning habit of simply saying, “thank you.” Often times if I forget, either Baylor or Bellamy will put their hands on top of each other to signal the Thank You Cheer. Gotta love the accountability! 

This is a fact that I know to be true: manners go a long way…especially saying these powerful words daily, “Thank you.”

3. Praying Out Loud Before We Eat

Bella is our resident prayer expert. She starts every prayer with, “Dear Jesus, we pray for our life…”

Public speaking was a big fear of mine in my teens and as a young adult. I wasn’t alone with this trepidation. National surveys show that more people fear giving a formal speech then death. 

Knowing this, we’ve tried to help our kids practice public speaking at a young age – even as simple as praying out loud. 

I usually lead our family in prayer, but several times a week (and now it seems almost daily) we let Baylor and Bellamy take turns praying out loud before we eat. We’ve noticed over time that both have improved in choosing their words and speaking with more confidence. Bellamy is more of a natural and will even volunteer to pray when we have guests over (this makes me a proud daddy), but Baylor has made great strides as well. Months before, he wouldn’t even participate, but after much practice, he now volunteers. 

This routine serves three purposes: 

• It helps our kids establish a pattern of giving thanks
• They get a microdose of public speaking practice
• This encourages them to connect spiritually

We believe these are all great habits that one can’t enough of. 

4. Happy Breakfast/Super Excited Dinner

Henderson baby #4 coming soon!

One weekend this winter, our entire house got hit with the Black Plague. It started with me and I passed this gift of death to our whole family. It was nasty. I mean, stuff was coming out of every orifice. 

This was Baylor’s first time throwing up and it really triggered what we call “Mr. Worry.” That experience was quite traumatic for him and he often would worry that it would come back again. 

The fear of getting sick even impacted his confidence and desire of going to school.  Because of this we had several tearful dropoffs. Especially when he overheard his teacher discussing with a parent about a student being sick. On this day, Kendra even had to come pick him up. 
Recognizing this pattern, Kendra and I have developed several strategies to quiet Mr. Worry. One of these techniques is called Happy Breakfast and Super Excited Dinner. Understanding the powerful effects that starting your day off with gratitude can have (ex: writing in a gratitude journal, saying prayers, etc), I created a game that the kids love. In the end, you can’t be grateful and fearful in the same time. 

How can you trick your kids into being grateful?….Make a game out of it. 

We all take turns going around the table sharing one thing that makes us happy. After each person shares, we count to three and all at once pound our clinched hands into the table and say together, “Happy!” 

This act helps us focus on positive things and gets the day started on the right foot – especially for Baylor. This helps him, and our entire family begin the day with a smile. 
Once we circle back as a family at dinner, we go around the table and share what made us super excited from the day – it could be an activity, a game, a toy, or even a person. After each person’s turn, we point our fingers in the air, twirl them around, then touch the table in a quiet almost whisper like voice and say, “Ssssssssuuuper excited.” (With a big emphasis on the “S”).
These exercises foster communication, dialogue, and tend to quiet Mr Worry. Winnie usually says she is either happy or excited about Moana, but I love to hear what B and B come up with each day. 

After doing this for several months now, the older kids usually lead this breakfast and dinner tradition. I’m proud to say that Baylor closed out the school year without any nerves being dropped off at preschool. A lot of this growth was his own doing, but I believe this daily habit played a significant role as well. 

Great read for parents with kids of all ages

What are you doing to improve your child’s well being?

Kendra and I are still learning each day as parents. We have our fair share of ups and downs. But, we believe that investing in our children’s development is like compound interest – the earlier and more we invest – the greater the return for them in the future. 

I hope these four rituals spark some fun and new habits for you and your family. Taking the time to love, model manners, and have fun as a family, are the greatest investments of all. 

Collin Henderson is the creator of Project Rise, which is a platform to help individuals be the best version of themselves.

RISE AND GRIND: 4 BASIC METHODS TO MAXIMIZE YOUR TIME AWAKE

TO SLEEP OR NOT TO SLEEP – THAT IS THE QUESTION… 

I’m a little confused. Being an athlete and devoted student, I’ve been told for years to get at least 8 hours of sleep. Sleep is where you recover, recharge, and heal. We spend one third of our life sleeping, snoring, dreaming, and drooling. 

However, being on this Project Rise journey, I’ve studied entrepreneurs, innovators, and many game changing people who have shaped our world.  During my quest of understanding success, I’ve found a common pattern with these titans – they don’t sleep very much. 

Thomas Edison bragged about how little sleep he allowed himself. He saw sleep as a roadblock to his progress in many of his inventions – including the light bulb. T. Ed only hired people who required little sleep and could match his 18 hour work days. 

YouTube celebrity and creative juggernaut Casey Neistat often gets just a handful of hours of sleep due the demand of his successful Vlog. He stays up most hours of the night editing his daily videos for his over 7 million YouTube channel subscribers…see one of his short movies below. 

This grind mode lack of sleep approach might earn you a badge of honor (and possibly more followers or money), but it isn’t for everyone. Athletes and especially young people need ample time to recover, recoup, and build their bodies to health. One of the most dominant defensive players in NFL history, JJ Watt, says sleep is one of his formulas for success. He gets over ten hours of sleep per night – especially during the rigors of training camp. 

So which is it? 

Rise and Grind or Stay and Sleep?

Consider this sleep scenario looking at two brothers – Adam and Ben. Both have similar DNA, but both have very different nightly patterns. Adam sleeps 5 hours every night. Ben sleeps 10 hours per night. Based off of this example, Adam will live 21% longer than Ben. How is this? Because he will be a awake for more hours each day. 

Who wouldn’t want to live longer? Well, in this silly scenario, Adam isn’t living longer, he’s just sucking more out of each day, week, and month.

On the contrary though, what is a life when you are walking around like a tired sloth all the time because of lack of sleep? If this is you and you crave caffeine the same way vampires fien for fresh blood, then you, like millions of Americans, more closely resemble the zombies in the Michael Jackson video Thriller, than MJ in his prime. 

Let me expose you to a happy medium to this sleep debate. Its called L.E.D. or Lowest Effective Dose. NY Times best selling author, top rated podcaster, angel investor, and entrepreneur, Tim Farriss, uses this philosophy to optimize many other areas of life, not just sleep – except he calls it the Minimal Effective Dose or M.E.D. (Check out his book the 4 Hour Body…it’s full of gems).

I’ve kept this approach in mind when dealing with my sleep. I’ve studied myself and reflected on my H.E.Q. or Hours/Energy Quotient, by trying to answer this question: 

What’s the lowest minimal amount of sleep I need to be fully functional, engaged, and have enough energy to win the day?

I’ve found that my L.E.D. sweet spot is 6 hours. I can get by with 5 hours (but not ideal), and 7 hours is the most optimal. I’ve discovered that anything over 8 hours actually makes me more tired. 

What is your Lowest Effective Dose for sleep?

Accompanied by my L.E.D., below are 4 strategies I’ve found to help me feel more rested and filled with energy to maximize my hours awake.

Meditation

I’ve been tinkering with practicing mindfulness for years, and recently have gone all-in with this practice. The research is just too powerful. Over 150 studies suggest that a daily meditation practice (even for 10 minutes a day) reduces stress and anxiety – while helping one feel more rested and peaceful. 

Last week I did a guided meditation/visualization session with several student-athletes, and after we finished, one player said, “I feel like I just woke up from a two hour nap!”

Give your body the benefit of daily mindfulness. Here’s a link to help you practice: Headspace

Here’s a recent shot of me doing sensory deprivation therapy and meditation at Float Seattle/Bellevue. Shout out to Sean Mac and B. Hop!

Cold shower

Want to reduce inflammation? Want to boost your metabolism? Want to improve your blood circulation and support your immune system? Need a way to wake yourself up besides coffee? Try mixing in a cold shower as part of your morning routine. 

I’ve been taking a cold shower for several minutes each day for the past 6 months. I’m someone who loves a long hot shower, so this energy hack was a little challenging to adopt. To help with the transition, I usually start my showers off really hot, and while I brush my teeth, I gradually turn the temperature to as cold as it gets (I have an electric toothbrush which helps me keep track of time – it shuts off after 2 minutes). 

I do one minute of cold water on my lower back, glutes, and hamstrings. I finish with 30 seconds to a minute on each quadricep and knee. Having both of my knees scoped, I used to have tendinitis (especially in my left one). After making cold showers a daily routine, I’ve felt zero pain or irritation in my knees! 

Just like when I used to sit in cold tubs during my playing days, daily cold showers have helped me feel more refreshed, healthier, and full of energy. Give it a try!

Here’s an article to learn more about the power of cold showers. 

Power Nap

Taking a nap has gotten a bad wrap in America. Many look at this technique as a sign of laziness. I look at taking a 10-15 minute power nap as a strategy to recharge my body and mind. Many European countries see the value in taking a daily ciesta. They even build this daily practice into their work schedule. Companies like Google and Uber also see the benefit of shutting your eyes for a few minutes a day. They’ve even built nap rooms or spaces for their employees to get a quick rest in. 

Who wouldn’t love to have a nap pod in the old office?

Being in outside sales, I’m lucky enough to be able to control my schedule. A few times a month, during lunch time, I’ll take a 10-15 minute power nap in my car – especially if I was up late the night before writing a blog post like this! I’ll also sneak in a quick nap on most weekends (my favorite napping spot is in the car…I have the best wife…she’s driving of course!). 

Research shows that anything over 40 minutes will actually make you more tired and may be unhealthy (see article here). Remember to keep them short and sweet, and feel the benefit of this healthy restful practice. 

To learn more about the benefit of taking a power nap and the well-known companies that support it, click here. 

Passion

I saved the best for last. Unequivocally, the number one source that fuels energy is doing something that you love. How do you spell the word love? T – I – M – E. Passion and purpose are what fuels action and persistence. Whether you are Michael Jordan, Bill Gates, or Warren Buffet, doing what you love and excel in just flat out gives you energy.  It helps you bounce back from failure, and stay committed for the long haul. 

At this stage of my life I feel like I am able to wake up and feel ready to go because I’m doing what I love: whether its spending time with my family, crushing my medical sales job, coaching, or leaving a legacy and helping others through Project Rise. If your career is taking away your energy, it might be time to discover your calling. Doing what you love will give you the energy needed to live a juiceful life (yup, just made up a word)…if you wanna be useful, you gotta be juiceful! 

If your current career isn’t your life calling, then find something else you can do when you are not working that fills you up. You owe it to yourself to be intentional about doing activities that you love and that give you energy.Purpose is the ultimate passion and energy hack!

Make the Big Time Where You Are.

Now it’s your turn! 

If you use 1 or more of the 4 energy strategies I listed above and give yourself 1 extra hour of being awake per day, here’s the breakdown of how much extra time you’ll get:

• One month: 30 hours or over 1 extra day a month…what could you do with an extra day per month?

• One year: 360 hours or 2 extra weeks a year…that’s like a long vacation!

• Five years: 1,800 hours or 2.5 extra months every 5 years…that’s like getting an extra summer break!

What would you do with extra time? Would you read more? Develop a new skill? Exercise? Finally turn your side project into your main project? Spend more QT with your soul mate?

Whatever it is you chose to do, my goal for writing this post is that you find your L.E.D. for sleep; you try an energy hack that I listed; and you get the most out of each 24 hours you’re alive. The reality is, the most successful people are able to do more with their time. 

No one ever looks back on their life and says, “Damn, I wish I would have slept more.”

I don’t know about you, but I’m trying to squeeze out as many hours and days from Father Time as I can. Why?…

Because he’s a stingy bastard. 

Collin Henderson is the creator and founder of Project Rise.  Project Rise is a platform to uplift and inspire people to be the best version of themselves.

BACK TO THE FUTURE: USE YOUR PAST TO BUILD A BETTER NOW

I recently had a coach from my high school football team hit me up with a request. He wanted me to send him a photo from my playing days as a Puyallup Viking. He was working on a project highlighting former players.

I hit him back with a text that read, “No prob Coach. I’m on it!”

While I sent the text, I began to ponder if I even had any old football photos of me donning the mighty purple and gold (ironic thing to say coming from a Coug).

I tend to not be very nostalgic. I love spring cleaning. I get a mini rush of dopamine when I purge my closet. I don’t need to hold on to old things. – even my old sports stuff.

Realizing this, I started to get a little nervous.

While I was rummaging around our storage shelves in our garage, I couldn’t find any old pictures. “I must have either given them away or threw them out in the trash,” I thought.

While looking through some hidden boxes in the corner, I finally found what I was looking for – my high school yearbooks!

“There had to be a football photo of me in here,” I said to myself while feeling like I just found a needle in a haystack.

So there I was on an early Saturday spring morning, thumbing through yearbooks that I hadn’t opened in over at least a decade. What a blast from the past. Memories started flushing in. I saw faces I hadn’t seen in many years. I even texted some of these photos to my friends. It was hilarious…cargo pants and frosted tips; baggy jeans and polo shirts; Caesar cuts for the guys and shoulder length bobs for the girls.

I could fit another human in those huge pants…sup Gator?

I even started to read some of the comments and notes people wrote me in my yearbook. Instead of cleaning out my garage, I was reminiscing on my life as a teenager in high school. This exercise helped me reflect on my life during that time – the good and the bad.

I truly had a storybook run in high school. I was Homecoming King, voted “Dream Date,” was an excellent student, and won many awards as an athlete. However, like many young people, I often times was caught up in the lie of perfection. I was insecure and worried too much about what others thought of me.

Reliving some of those emotions again, I played the game of “What would I have done differently?” If I could go back in time, what would my relationships look like? Would I have trained differently? How would I have addressed some of my fears?

I felt a little like Uncle Rico from the classic film Napoleon Dynamite. “If I could just go back…”

Let me preface that I had an amazing time in high school. I had many awesome friends and experiences. I had outstanding support from my family and loved ones. But looking through these yearbooks reminded me of how much I didn’t know.

Upon reflection, I would’ve been more grateful. I would’ve served more people.Iwould’ve worried less and laughed more. Instead of trying to be cool and liked by everyone, I would have focused more energy on defining my core values and just loving me for me. I would’ve been more bold.

Taking it to the HOUSE!

I wouldn’t have WASTED a single hour or day on doing tasks that didn’t help me reach my goals.

Without even knowing it, this exercise change my emotional state. If you have ever listened to or watched the best business and life coach on the planet, Tony Robbins, you know that he’s all about getting people to change their state. When you’re in a heightened emotional state, you’re ready to take action.

While in this zone of reflection and reminiscing on my mindset and some of the things I would’ve done differently, it helped me create an exercise that I want you to do.

While going on a walk that evening, I pictured myself 10 to 20 years in the future. I imagined,

“How would my future self in 2037 assess my life right now, today, at this moment in 2017?”

What would a 57 year old Collin say to a 37 year old Collin? What advice would I give myself? What would I have done differently? What should I focus on? What is really important in life? Am I getting everything out of every single day, every single hour, every single minute?

I can’t get those years in high school back, and I can’t get these years back either.

I looked at this sign every day in the WSU weight room and believe this this to be so true.

I don’t believe in living in the past. I due believe in learning from our past to improve our future.

Coming to that conclusion and by feeling the emotions and memories looking through my old yearbooks, I did a self scout on myself and how I’m living RIGHT NOW:

●     What am I doing well and what areas can I improve?

●     What areas in my life am I avoiding?

●     What relationships do I need to fix?

●     What legacy am I leaving?

●     Am I playing to my strengths and going all in on my gifts?

●     Am I maximizing every second with my wife and my children?

●     Am I helping enough people?

●     Am I checking things off my bucket list?

AM I LIVING MY LIFE AS MY BEST SELF?

Knowing what I know now, and thinking about myself 20 years ago, this exercise got me really really excited. I almost had an out of body experience feeling like this is not my real life…this is just a dream.

I can start over right now and do anything that I want.

This exercise helped diminish some of my fears. This process help me get excited for living in the moment and for what’s to come. I had a huge sense of gratitude flow over me…even in the simple and small things. I left that mental exercise truly believing that I can write any story I want and live out my dreams.

I see you B. Rip. What’s up Coach W! Javon Deuce-Tray!

By reflecting on what I used to worry and obsess over in my past…I realized those were actually somewhat small things. It’s amazing what a few years away gives you in terms of perspective. I would tell my younger self to stop majoring in minor things…people’s opinions are just that – opinions – not facts. Your only competition is just you, and no one else. And here’s a key piece of advice: don’t be afraid to have crucial conversations with the people you love and who love you.

Why can’t we hack our brain and do that same exercise now?

My 57-year-old self would probably give me similar advice and tell me to chill the F out. Everything’s gonna be OK. Trust in yourself and trust in God. Just go for it!

This is my task for you. Here are 5 steps to go Back to the Future and Use Your Past to Build a Better Now:

1.    REFLECT: Help change your emotional state by looking at old yearbooks, pictures or videos of you in your youth, or 10 to 20 years ago.

2.    SELF-ASSESS: Reflect on if there is anything you would’ve done differently – not in a negative way, but with the approach of self scouting.

3.    EVALUATE: Decipher if some of the same fears, worries, or internal stories are holding you back today.

4.    FUTURE WISDOM: With this refreshed lens and perspective, pretend you are yourself 10 to 20 years in the future looking back on your life right now. What would you do different? Reference my list of questions above.

5.    TAKE ACTION: Decide to take action and do not waste a single day. Do things that you’ve been putting off. Mend relationships that have been broken. Attack your fears. Follow your heart. Live your dream. Reassess how you look at failure, and learn from it.

The time is now! We only get one at bat in life. Please don’t waste it.

That’s me on the left and my buddy since we were 6 years old, Brett the “Beast” Beetham on the right. We were later teammates again at WSU.

I eventually was able to find some old pictures of me at my parent’s house, and I sent them to the Puyallup football coach. I’m looking forward to seeing how this project turns out. After this experience of looking back at my younger self, I’m even more excited to create new pictures and memories living life like there’s no tomorrow.

My hope is that you do the same.

Collin Henderson is the creator and founder of Project Rise. Project Rise is a platform to uplift and inspire people to be the best version of themselves.

ONE QUESTION

Did you ever play with an 8-Ball as a kid?  Maybe at a party or with friends…you’d ask this silly contraption a question, shake it, then wait with baited breathe to see what it would say?  This novelty toy was invented in the 1950’s by Albert Carter and manufactured by Mattel and has been a staple at middle school parties for decades.

As you know, the Magic 8-Ball is used for fortune-telling or seeking advice with a humorous slant–it gives very accurate, very inaccurate, or otherwise statistically improbable answers.  The 20 answers that it offers come in three different categories in some form or fashion:

• Yes
• I don’t know or ask again later
• No

In life, we all are seeking answers for the many obstacles it throws at us: how to handle a situation, ideas to solve a problem, or answers on what to do next.  Maybe you have a a new project at work and are looking for inspiration.  Or, you and your spouse are trying to figure out how to deal with a situation that involves your child.  Or maybe, you are just seeking direction and purpose on what do to next in your life.

Luckily for you and everyone else, we don’t get our answers by asking a black round sphere a question then shake it, and hope for the best.

So let me ask you this question:

How do you get your answers?

We all are seeking answers and knowledge.  No doubt, we have the Internet, Google, Wikipedia, and other technical options to find solutions.  YouTube is one of my favorite places to figure out how to do something,..like how to make slime (that was the first to pop up when I typed in “how to…”) or how to tie a tie, or how to fix a cracked phone screen (another popular one).  There are a TON of resources to gain insights on facts, how-to’s, opinions, and history of someone or something.

However, our toughest questions cannot be answered by clicking a search button on a device. 

Let me share a strategy that is life changing, simple, and if used correctly–extremely powerful.  This approach pulls from infinite wisdom so endless and abundant, it puts Google to shame.  This daily ritual, if done consistently, will take you to places you have never been, give you peace you have never felt, and create clarity and decisiveness you otherwise wouldn’t see.

So what is this solution…It’s MEDITATION.  

You most likely have heard this offering before and how meditation can improve creative thinking, our energy, stress levels, and even our success.  Billionaires, world class athletes, icons, and top performers utilize this technique.  If this is so, why do so many of us not do it?

My answer is that I think meditation is often misunderstood (it’s only for monks and for people who do kung-fu).  I actually think the main reason is because people don’t know how to do it properly.  Either they get too board with it, or actually fall asleep!  My goal is to give you a few simple steps to help you make making mindfulness a daily practice.  Before I do that, let me remind you of a few reasons WHY you should really make meditation, visualization, and mindfulness your go-to when you need peace, rest, and answers. 

In an article in the Huffington Post, Dr. Hedy Kober, who is a neuroscience expert who studies the effects of mindful meditation, offers this, “It did to my mind what going to the gym did to my body–it made it both stronger and more flexible.”  

LifeHack offers these top 10 benefits of Mediation that you might not know:

1. It boosts your immune system
2. Improves fertility
3. Reduces stress
4. Improves self-acceptance
5. Improves self-confidence
6. Improves your relationships
7. Increases creativity
8. Offers pain relief
9. It improves concentration
10. It fosters a feeling of “wholeness”

You already do some form of mindfulness in your own way…driving a car, doing yoga, taking a long hot shower, praying, going on a peaceful walk, the time between when you wake up and actually get out of bed…some of my best ideas have come during these times.

My favorite part of yoga, is the relaxation/mindfulness time at the end.

A few years ago, I received training on Transcendental Meditation (TM).  I was going through a rough patch in my career, was dealing with stress, and was looking for a release.  Oprah, Russell Simmons, Jerry Seinfeld, Hugh Jackman, and many other well know successful people swear by it, so I thought…why not give it a try?  It was a good experience, but what I found out is that I preferred “guided meditation” over TM’s approach.

A Few Options
A great resource to learn how to practice guided meditation is through an awesome app called:  Headspace.  I heard about it from the Lewis Howes Podcast.  One of my heroes, Tim Farriss has endorsed this approach as well.  With over 6 million downloads, I’d say that it is working for many!  You can customized what you are looking for based on needs and time length.  You will listen to the creator–Andy–who has a soothing accent (British I believe), guide you through your meditation each time.  This is approach will you are getting started…the first ten sessions are FREE! 

Another resource you can utilize is to check out Tara Bach’s website, which offers great info on meditation, as well as offers a library that you can select by category.  Check it out.

Finally, I had the pleasure to take part in a men’s retreat this weekend with a group of successful guys down on the Oregon Coast this past week.  We called our getaway: Breakaway.  The intent of the weekend was to cast vision, create inspiration, and map out a plan to make 2017 our best year yet.  We had the pleasure of working with a business owner, entrepreneur,  certified life coach, and mediation expert, Sean McCormick.  Sean owns Float Seattle.  Sean guided the group in several mediation and visualization sessions, which were certainly powerful.  I encourage you to check out his website if you are looking for more mindfulness, peace and success!…click here.

Sean dropping knowledge…not a bad place to learn…on a legit recliner

5 Simple Steps to Practice More Mindfulness:

1. Prioritize a specific time during the day to allow a few minutes of quiet time to yourself (even if it’s just 5 minutes)
2. Avoid laying down, but find a cozy chair or sit in a comfortable position (this will limit the chance of falling asleep)
3. Spend the first minute or so focusing on your breathing…in through your nose, then out through your mouth.
4. At the beginning of this time, ask yourself a question…relax and let your heart and spirit (not your brain) go to work
5. Be open to receive omens, ideas, and inspiration to be the best version of you

I’ll Leave You With This:

Ask yourself at least one question each day and let your subconscious, God, and the universe go to work and bring you answers, solutions, guidance, and the peace of mind not found in an 8-Ball or Google.  Here’s a helpful hint: PUT YOUR CELL PHONE AWAY, be still, be mindful, and make some form of meditation a daily habit.  If you do, you’ll upgrade from your 8-Ball, and get more answers than “yes,” “ask again later,” or “no” (you may receive one of these three answers though anyway).  Regardless, give your mind, body, and soul, the gift of calm and peace…your future self will thank you.

GEAR GUIDE 2017

Walk into 2017 like this guy…like you know something that others don’t.

It’s a new year and it’s time to think about how we can make 2017 our best year yet.  I made a list of my favorite things that I’ve came across this year that I think will help you in your quest to be the best version of you.

Anytime I can get an edge to improve how I feel, enhance my knowledge, or simply enjoy life at a deeper level, I’m always down.  I hope this list will do that for you.  So here it is…

My Top 10 Must Haves for 2017:

#1.  Off the Chain Pant, from Lululemon

I love these pants for so many reasons.  From 2014-2016, it was all about the ABC pant from Lulu.  ABC stands for Anti-Ball Crushing.  Love these pants.  I just might have all the colors. They have 4-way stretch, are comfy, and fit me real nice.  Having a butt and quads, its tough finding a slimmer fitting pant that is still comfortable.  With that said, 2017 is all about the Off the Chain Pant.  This is a new and improved version of the ABC.  It has a little leaner and tighter cut, but still has room in all the right places.  I can dress these up or dress them down.  I’m obsessed!!!  Oh, and as I write this they are on sale right now at Bellevue Square as well as online (last I checked they were on sale for $68!…a steal!).

Forgive me and my selfie…I’m doing it to help you!  Love my Off the Chains & Neff beanie…see below for my #2

Here are a few reasons why you need these babies

#2.  Neff Beanie

Being that it is winter in the northwest, and 70 + degree weather is nowhere in sight, I love keeping my noggin warm with my fav beanie from Neff (see photo above).  Sometimes wearing a ball cap does not do the job.  Why I like it: it has the perfect mix of the right length (some beanies are either too long or too short…the Neff is spot on) and also it is the perfect material.  It’s not itchy, but really comfortable and it has the perfect amount of stretch.  Finally it’s not too warm, but does the job.  I hate walking outside where it is cold and warrants a beanie, then when I get inside I have to take my beanie off because I am too hot and my hair looks all messed up (so I’m vain..sue me).  This game changer keeps me warm when outside and not too hot inside…I can rock it with comfort inside and out. 

#3.  H & M Collared Shirts

If you are looking for an affordable dress shirt in a variety of styles and colors, H & M has got what you are looking for.  You might like to go to Nordy’s and drop $100 plus on a dress shirt, but I like to get more bang for my buck.  These shirts have a more athletic European cut, which I like, and I’ve had several for multiple years, so the quality does the job.  If you are looking for 4-way stretch, my honorable mention goes to Mizzen and Main (check them out)…shout out to my boy Mike Ike. 

NBD, just me taking a family pick with one of my H&M buttoned collard shirts

#4.  Zara Blazers

Every grown man needs to own a black suit and a multi-use blazer.  The reason why I like Zara’s blazers is the way they are cut (slim) and because most of them have a comfortable stretchy material (are you seeing a trend here?).  The other reason why I like them is because they offer a high quality jacket for a reasonable price.  Pair your new blazer with a clean t-shirt for a more relaxed look.  Check them out…Zara is now in Bellevue Square as well as downtown Seattle (they have legit kids and women clothes as well).

#5.  Nike 3/4 Zip

These Nike 3/4 Zip tops are my go to whether I’m going to the gym, or going to a meeting.  They are so comfy, look great, and can be used in multiple settings.  Rock them to get your workout on, or when you go business casual with a polo underneath.  Stick with black and gray, and add a pop of color with your polo.  You just simply can’t lose with this wardrobe staple.

These are a little too tight for my taste, but you get the point.

#6.  Cole Haan GrandePro Tennis Sneaker

This single pair of Cole Haan’s will transform your look overnight.  I am really into rocking a more sporty shoe with my blazer or even suit.  The rules have changed.  Maybe its the athlete in me, or the look that says, “I mean business, but know how to have fun too,” this is the look for 2017.  There is not a lighter or more comfortable shoe out there — and they come in many colors.  Whether you travel, are on your feet most of the day, chill at a desk, or want to stay current or ahead of the curve…add this shoe to your repertoire and you will be closing dates and deals all in the same day.  Check out Charles Woodsen on ESPN or Kenny Smith on TNT for inspiration. 

What can I say…I’m a shoe guy

#7.  32 Degrees Heat Performance Mesh

I love to feel warm.  With the colder weather and the fact that I travel to eastern WA, Alaska, and Montana, I need an extra layer.  My go-to is 32 Degree Heat shirts and long-underwear from Costco.  The shirts come in short sleeve or long sleeve.  I opt for the long sleeve.  They are very comfortable and you can’t beat the price (wait for it…they run about $8 a piece…seriously?!).  You can even wear the long sleeve top  under your blazer.  I like the cut of the neck…it’s in between a V-neck and basic crew.

#8.  Nike Joggers

If you are like some people I know, you are rocking pants like its 1999 (RIP Prince)…or like you are the 6th member of N*SYNC.  Gangster rap, grunge, and boy bands were cool many years ago — so were baggy pants.  It’s time to step up your casual game with a pair of Nike jogger pants.  Whether you go for cotton Dri-Fit or more of a polyester feel, your gear game on Saturday and Sunday will be turning heads…for the right reasons.  Pair your slimmer looking bottoms with a flashy color of Nike running shoes and please don’t be that guy that rocks Adidas, Nike, and Under Armor all in the same outfit…pick one brand and stick to it.

You can never go wrong with black…NEVER.

#9.  Jordan Brand Long Tights

About a year ago, I found myself stuck in a tough place at the gym.  I was too hot in pants and too cold wearing shorts…my legs didn’t know what to do.  Thus, I made a strategic change that has taken my look, comfort, and swag to the next level…I’ve been rocking long tights under my shorts.  I used to wear spandex under my football pants for years, but it took me a while to adopt this approach to the gym.  I’ve tried many different brands, but I love the cut and style of any Jordan spandex…for some reason there is more room for the boys downstairs than Nike long tights.  Give this approach a try…you’ll thank me later.

Long tights under shorts are the perfect blend for the perfect workout.

#10.  Wireless Headphones

Have long tights transformed my workout game?…yes.  But, nothing has taken my workout experience to the next level quite like my Beats by Dre wireless headphones.  Do you ever listen to music with your phone in your pocket and your cord gets in the way?…Or when you are attacking dumbbell bench and your phone constantly falls out of your pocket?  Take this frustrating practice away by investing in headphones without a cord (the new iPhone doesn’t even have a jack, so this is where the future is going people).  I love listening to podcasts or YouTube videos of inspiring people and stories while lifting and doing cardio…this is made possible by sticking my phone hidden in the corner while I move around without a care in the world.  If Beats head phones break your budget, there are a ton of other brands that are more affordable.  Start working out like it’s 2017, not like you did in 1997 with a disc-man and head phones with a cord.

Here’s a list of top brands.

Be a beast like LBJ…get rid of the ball and chain of traditional headphone chords.

Look good, feel good, play good.  This progression can be applied at work and other areas of your life as well.  Try some of my favorites and let me know what you think.  Hit me up with your must haves for 2017 and lets make this year the the year we truly take our look, production, and joy to the next level.

FEELINGS NOT FACTS

I’ve made an observation recently.  I’ve come to the realization that what motivates people to ACT, BUY, and DO is not logic; its not numbers; its not even money.  It actually comes down to one simple thing – our feelings.  Emotion and Imagination beat Logic every day of the week.  You’ve probably heard the saying that people don’t remember what you said, but how you made them feel…I’m going to explore this topic a little bit.

Let’s face it, we all in one way or another are in a sales role.  Selling our kids to clean up or finish their food.  Convincing your significant other to go with your color choice when painting the kitchen, not theirs.  Pulling a Jedi Mind Trick on your best friend to meet at your favorite spot versus theirs.  Teachers, lawyers, parents, leaders, coaches, businesses, siblings, friends are all selling something: an idea, service, preference, product, or dream.

The art of the COMPLEX Sell: selling an idea to your kids

Studies show that people rely on emotions, rather than information, to make decisions.  Douglas Van Praet, author of Unconscious Branding: How Neuroscience Can Empower (and inspire) Marketing offers his opinion, “The most startling truth is we don’t even think our way to logical solutions.  We feel our way to reason.  Emotions don’t hinder decisions.  They constitute the foundation on which they’re made!”

I was first exposed to this feeling trumps facts theory while listening to a Tony Robbins (life and business strategist) video on YouTube several months ago.  Tony was telling a story about a conversation he had with Steve Wynn, business man, art collector, and well known luxury casino and hotel owner.  Steve, the creator of the Wynn hotel in Vegas, told the story on how he built the most expensive hotels in the world, and kept his prices high, because he wanted to make people feel SIGNIFICANT…even during the Recession in 2008 and 2009 when his competitors were shrinking, he went bigger, grander, and added more value.  All to enhance feelings and significance.  He even built a new hotel at the peak of the economic downturn and his goal was simple, it was to add more value…he even raised his prices!  He created the most beautiful, unique, and awesome experience, so people would feel special, important, and like royalty.  This strategy paid off – in a big way.  So remember this:

People don’t purchase products, they purchase feelings.

People don’t acquire things, they acquire states.

People don’t buy stuff, they buy identities.

Have you ever been in a relationship and either you or the person you were dating wanted to break up?  Whether your romance was relatively new or you had been together for a long time, someone had to try to explain why they didn’t want to continue the relationship.  This was always my biggest fear and least favorite thing in the world…breaking up with someone.  I absolutely HATED IT, more than anything.  Well, on a few occasions, I’d hear the girl on the other end, try to explain in great detail, all the rational reasons and facts why we should be together: we have a lot in common, we share the same interests, we like the same activities, our values are aligned.  Yes, all those things are true, but I JUST DON’T FEEL IT!  I probably cried more then they did when I left, but I knew it had to get done. I would then, ponder the points interjected, which all rationally made sense, but:

WHEN IS LOVE RATIONALE? 

My biggest fear during my single days: having “the talk”

The fact is, love, feelings, and emotions are not rationale…sometimes they don’t even make sense!  But emotion and feelings are what drive action.

So here is the money question, how do we tap into these so called feelings that are so important?  Here is my 3 phase approach to evoke feelings and not simply rely on facts to get what you want:

PHASE I – 1st Impression

• Confidence: Confidence and self-believe are very attractive qualities that lead people to follow.
• Humility: Confidence mixed with being humble is a strong combination.  Humility draws people in and allows others to put their guard down.
• Sincerity: Being sincere creates trust.  Trust creates dialogue.  Dialogue creates relationships.  Solid relationships are the foundation of what selling an idea is all about.

PHASE II – Tell a Story

• Make the status quo unsafe: How can you prove that what they are currently doing or want to do is not the best way?  This is where you generate an unmet need or a pain point.
• Make them smarter: Knowledge is power.  Teaching somebody something they do not know that can help them creates a feeling and emotion – whether it’s information on the marketplace, their own environment, competition, or how other’s are succeeding or failing – intellegient information is always a premium. 
• Offer a different solution: Provide a solution to make their next move a productive one that is different than what they are currently doing (or have been offered by someone else).

PHASE III – Motives Matter

• It’s all about YOU not me: Make the other person the center of the story, not you.
• Bring the VALUE you promised: In the end, its all about value.  Whoever brings the most value wins.  You need to deliver on what you said you were going to do.
• Prove you CARE, then CLOSE: Make caring a competitive advantage.  Care through Internal Investment then show it through External Execution.  When you have done this, you’ve earned the right to ask for what you want…when these steps have taken place, closing is easy.

In summary, life is all about FEELINGS!  The rational argument doesn’t always win.  Emotion, imagination, and feeling trump all.  Your first impression is what draws people in, but your content keeps them engaged.  Remember to carry yourself with confidence, humility, and sincerity…those are all quality traits that establish credibility and trust.  

Tell a story, don’t rattle off stats and facts.  Jesus spoke in parables for a reason.  People connect with a story, not just info.  Stories stick.  Make sure your story has danger or a threat, educational information that makes the other person smarter, and a unique solution that solves the problem.  

Lastly, make the customer or person you are talking to be the focal point and main character of your story (HINT: the protagonist should not be you, but the other person!).  Always bring value in what you are offering and be different by sincerely caring for all parties involved.  If money is your only motive, if YOU are your only motive…your results will be short lived.  When your motives align with service, value, and fulfilling the other person’s needs first, you will win in the long term.

Give this approach a try!  If you do, your outcomes will improve…I CAN FEEL IT!!!

ALIVE

If you read my last post, I mentioned that I hosted a candidate on a “ride along” last Friday.  As these work trips usually go, the potential employee usually asks questions about the role, trying to gain nuggets on the products, insights on customer concerns, and what the day to day looks like.  Often these individuals are jotting down notes into their journals (they better be!), formulating a plan to knock out their final interview, while putting their best foot forward in hopes that I sing their praises to the hiring manager.

On this particular day, at least for most of it, it went as usual…visiting accounts, doing my thing, answering questions, explaining the industry, etc. etc.  But this time, the candidate, let’s call her Stacy asked me a great question.  She asked, “If there is one thing I need to know…one piece of advice you can give me to crush this job, what is it?”

I thought about it for a second, while driving past the old battle ships nestled in the waters of Bremerton, Washington.  I pondered the question, thinking of the right response that would genuinely help her.  The standard answer would be to set goals, create a solid plan and execute, work really hard, bring value, and ask for the business.  Deep down I felt that response would be just like those old war vessels…rusty and out dated.

Well for some reason that day was different.  For those of you who have been following my blog have witnessed a dramatic shift in my mindset that I’m trying to share.  This blog has fostered an intellectual journey that has been one of the most transformational forces in my life.  It has taught me a powerful emotion called humility.  The process of sharing my thoughts, research, opinions, and strategies has been truly rewarding.  I have learned that I don’t have to create, just document my journey.  Using concepts from Carol Dweck’s book, Mindset: A New Psychology of Success, I’m working on developing a growth mindset – focusing on the process, learning, and growing – not simply on outcomes and the black and whiteness of wins an losses.  For most of my life I was living in a fixed mindset – gaining my self worth and validation on proving that I was good enough – to myself and others.

Trust me, I’m still a work in progress, but this time, when asked for advice on succeeding, I wanted to share something different.  I simply told Stacy:

Just know that you are alive
YOU ARE ALIVE!

To the average innocent bystander, one would think, man this dude is corny and definitely on the cheesy side.  You know what, I really don’t care.  I wanted her to know and you to know that you are ALIVE!  Take advantage of this precious gift of having the freedom of being present, here alive today.  To think.  To act and do whatever it is that you want.   

Most people wake up each day and take for granted all the possibilities being alive has to offer…seriously.  Why do people wait to go through a traumatic event or threat of loss to truly appreciate how insanely lucky we are to experience just a single day and all the possibilities and wonders each day brings…especially in the mundane things that aren’t given a second thought once they’ve passed?  Don’t make a loss make you finally live. 

Kendra and my WORLD.

We take for granted the small things…which really are the BEST THINGS.  Get ready for my random list of examples: 

Hearing a child’s laughter; going on a walk and feeling the wind in your face; a grilled cheese sandwich with bacon (what can I say, I love cheese…and bacon for that matter); going to the movies, reading a good book; smelling a scent that takes you back; experiencing the sunrise on a morning run; waking up on a Saturday morning to College Gameday; picking raspberries with your kids; physical touch from a loved one…the list can go on and on. 

How would you live your life if you knew you only had 6 months to live?  Would that change how you thought, acted, lived and loved?  What would you appreciate more if you just got out of jail after being locked up for 20 years?  I had the opportunity to play softball a few years ago against federal inmates and spoke to one of my former classmates who had 10 more years to serve.  Wow, the freedoms we have if you change your lens are so immense and beautiful, but are we living with that perspective and gratitude?

Living today, right now, I truly feel blessed…blessed and trying to do as much as I can while I’m here.  Sometimes I feel like John Mayer when he sings in his song, “Stop This Train”…so I play the numbers game, to find a way to say my life has just begun. If I do the math, I have about 64% of life left…and that’s if I live to be 100. This is a long winded way of telling the candidate in my car, to you, and to remind myself that if you are reading this:

YOU ARE ALIVE, 
BUT ARE YOU TRULY LIVING?

We only get ONE SHOT at life.  This is me pleading with you (and to myself) to do a few things right now:

• Love more, judge less

• Laugh at yourself, not at others

• Cry tears of joy
• Think daily and independently 

• See beauty in all things

• Find gratitude in even hardships and set backs

• Ask yourself this question at the end of each day, “How many people did I help?”

• Know that you are only limited by your thoughts

• You can do and be anything you want – it all starts and ends in your mind

• Be generous

• Forgiveness transcends
• Know these words and use them often: Please and Thank you

• Fight the battle ahead, not the one behind you

• Plan for the future, but be present today

• Lastly, believe in yourself. You are special. You are a miracle. Since you are a miracle, make and recognize mini miracles daily. 

• Oh, and know that God loves you just the way you are, so just be yourself. 

Live the life you dream about.  Do not wait for an event to cause this.  Make this powerful choice now.

Happiness is not about money, but moments.  Fulfillment isn’t found in status, but service.  Joy is not achieved by acquiring things, but in harnessing the power of thankfulness.  This approach is my best practice. This is my advice. I hope that you and Stacy from my ride along takes it, run with it, and never look back.

CPW

CPW…learn this acronym.  Know it’s ways.  Trust it’s power.  So what is CPW you might ask?  Well, its an approach to fashion that took me into my 30’s to understand, appreciate, and apply.  CPW stands for: Cost Per Wear.

Given $200 and the task to expand my wardrobe, the younger me would either go to Target or Old Navy and buy several lower cost (and lower quality) garments.  I guess I used to walk out of these shopping experiences feeling stoked that I just scored a major wardrobe update.  My mindset at the time was quantity over quality.

Well, now that I am much older and wiser…and who’s kidding, my wife Kendra has rubbed a lot off on me…I see more value in having fewer clothes, but higher quality.  Having a few staples in your closet that might cost more, but last longer and make you feel good is my new approach.  Looks are not everything, but liking how your clothes fit and loving how they look – at least for me – makes all the difference.

LOOK GOOD. FEEL GOOD. PLAY GOOD.

With that said…let me introduce you to a staple of mine that has been a go to for several years.  Fellas, listen.  Ladies, take notes for your man.  Its another acronym…they are called the ABC pant from Lululemon.  ABC stands for Anti Ball Crushing…seriously, that’s what they are called.  Nothing wrong with letting the boys breathe a little.

This dude looks like he’s thinking, “I wear, therefor I am, awesomeness.”

Here’s why I like them:

1. Lulu hems and tailor’s them for free (yes!).  Guys, having your pants bunched up at the bottom is not a good look…maybe back in 1994 when grunge and gangster rap was all the fashion rage.  Take your pant game to the next level and have them tailored.
2. They don’t wrinkle!  Awesome when I have to travel…just throw them in my bag and I’m good to go…no ironing necessary!
3. You can wash and dry them!  No dry cleaning bill.  This is so convenient and actually saves you money in the long run.
4. They are versatile!  Dress them up or dress them down.  Wear them with Vans or Chucks…or throw on a sport jacket with a pair of Cole Haan’s and you are ready to close the deal in your afternoon meeting!
5. Last but definitely most important…they have 4-way stretch material!  Being in outside sales and getting in and out of my car frequently, driving, and flying…comfort and durability is HUGE…these babies are the most comfortable pants I have ever worn.  I can do squats in these pants no prob!  

The price is $128 and worth every penny.  I am not lying…I’ve converted about half of the guys in my division at my company to the ABC’s…once you try them on, there’s no going back!  Invest in your look…feel good…get value out of your purchase…buy clothes that last and look great…you deserve it!

Please, don’t be that guy.

My other favorite pants are Zanerobe.  They also have 4-way stretch, they are a little more on the skinnier side (if you are looking for more of a trendy look), you can wash and dry them, they have plenty of room in the crotch (hee hee…ode to MJ) and my favorite part…they have a draw string!…no belt needed.  Love these when I’m going through security at the airport.  Zanerobe’s are great to wear with an untucked shirt…dress them up or dress them down just like the ABC pant.  They come in a few different styles and retail for about $119 or less.

Here I’m rocking my black Zanerobe’s…look like pants, feel like sweats.

Ladies, remember when 7 For All Mankind Jeans came out and completely changed the game for you…your comfort, your style, and most importantly, your butt!  After that, normal denim jeans just wouldn’t cut it.  The thought!…jeans that cost over $100?…now it seems, they must cost over $200 to even be in the game.  Well, these ABC and Zanerobe pants are that kind of a game changer for guys.  You justified to yourself to spend that kind of money on jeans, but you felt GREAT!

Fellas, trust me, once you buy a pair and wear them, its like when Neo from the Matrix swallowed that pill…EVERYTHING CHANGED.  I actually wear less and less jeans now because of these pants.

Dudes before and after the ABC and Zanerobe pant.

Now when our money is spent at Target…its because Kendra spends it on a bunch of…aah umm…random SHIT for the house!…do we really need another candle or that apple cider dish soap?!

Part of being the best version of you includes loving how you look.  Find what works for you and rock it!  Remember, just be you…everyone else is taken..but if you’re a guy, the ABC & Zanerobe pants might need to be a new staple.  Finally, understanding what CPW is all about and rethinking how you invest in your closet and YOU…is a step in the right direction!

A 180 DEGREE TURN IS ONLY A MATTER OF 1.5

Ideas are just ideas WITHOUT COMMITMENT

Goals are simply goals WITHOUT ACTION

Dreams are just dreams WITHOUT EXECUTION

I’m down here in Bend, Oregon for a conference at the beautiful Sunriver Resort.  Its 90 degrees + all weekend.  They just got a new pool last year, there’s golf, trails, shops, and cool places to eat…one problem, my family is not with me.  So what do I do when I have free time, alone?…I read about or watch YouTube videos of inspiring people.  The old me, would probably go see a movie, dink around with my phone and all my social media apps, or binge on Netflix (with nobody to chill with…poor me).

For some reason, those things that I just listed do not fill me up like they used to.  Since I started this blog I have been researching almost obsessively what causes success…looking for habits, traits, and philosophies of ordinary people who do extraordinary things.

One common denominator of people who have extreme success is they do more with their time. 

I get it, after a long hard days work, putting out fires, grinding, commuting to and from work, dealing with people, you need time to decompress and disengage for a bit.  TV is a great outlet, spending time with our loved ones in my opinion is the best outlet, and many of us turn to our phones to escape from the rat race of life.  But for too many, this phone epidemic is getting a little out of hand (I haven’t even gotten into video games).  From games, to various apps, to emails and text messages, Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, etc.  There is a name for people who have a cell phone addiction…its called “nomophobia.”  People create a neurological addiction, where they cannot be separated from there phones, laptops, iPads, or tablets…similar to craving cigarettes or alcohol.

My challenge to you is to invest in yourself 1.5 hours per day, 5 days a week.  The weekends are all yours.  I promise you, no one ever looks back on their life and says, “I wish I would have played Candy Crush or World of Warcraft more,” or “My life would have been a whole lot better if I spent more time on Instagram.”  No one ever reflects and says, “If only I would have slept more, watched more TV, binged more shows on Netflix, or played more video games.”

Don’t be like this dude..get off the couch!

Here is how you can do a 180 degree turn that will set your goals and dreams in motion…it starts by carving out 1.5 hours per day, 5 days a week, which is 7.5 hours per week, 30 hours per month.  Try this for six months and you’ll have invested 180 hours (hence the 180 degree transformation) into yourself.

1. Look at all your social media apps 3 times per day and that’s it: morning, afternoon, and once at night.  That’s plenty of time to evaluate all your likes and commenting on post that make you smile.
2.  When you come home, engage with your loved ones with no distractions: No TV, put the phones away, and do like they did in the 1950’s, talk and check in with each other.
3. Limit your “shows” to no more than 2: There’s nothing wrong with having a go-to show or two, but 10 is a liiiiitle too much.
4. Focus 1.5 hours of your time doing something productive: After you’ve engaged with your family, ate dinner, put the kids down, checked your phone for a few minutes, invest in your development.
5. The world is your oyster: during this time, read a book, learn a new skill, get inspired, listen to a podcast, practice your craft, write, meditate, exercise, call and talk to a mentor, finally turn your idea into a small business…there are so many possibilities for self improvement!

Feel like you you don’t have enough time to get everything done?  Here’s a novel idea…wake up earlier!  Take care of the most critical things you need to get done first, so you free yourself up to do what you want.  Stop being like every one else who has a million excuses and isn’t happy with where they are in their life.  Take action!

As each day passes, its a lost opportunity to get better. Live with no regrets!

We only have a finite number of days on this earth.  Only God knows that number.  Maximize each day!  You and only you have the power to make daily decisions on how you spend your time…are you going to improve and get better or settle or get worse?

Make the decision today that you’ll wish you made 5, 10, 15 years from now.

So what area do you want to improve?  What new skill do you want to develop?  Turn your passion project into a reality.  Finally create your side project into a legit small business.  For you non entrepreneurs, learn to play the piano or guitar, improve your finances and knowledge in investing, write a book, or improve your fitness.  Like I said, the world is your oyster.  Commit to yourself 1.5 hours per day for 5 days a week for 6 months, and your life will take a 180 degree turn for the better.  Set a goal, create a plan, and get after it!!!  Breaking big things down into little chunks, makes what seems impossible, possible.

So how did I come up with 1.5 hours, 5 days a week for 6 months?  Here’s how: Scientific research shows it takes 66 days to form a habit…so that takes up the first 2 months, just forming a habit of making time to invest in yourself.  From there, you can further specialize or add multiple new skills to your repertoire.  Josh Kaufman, author, blogger, and motivational speaker, says you can actually learn a new skill in 20 hours…not the 10,000 hour rule suggested by best selling author Malcolm Gladwell. 

If you don’t invest in yourself, no one else will.  1.5 hours per day, 5 days a week, will allow you to do just that.  Go for it!  You will thank yourself in the future.

CORE VALUES

Your core values are the deeply held beliefs that authentically describe your soul. – John C. Maxwell

During a 2006 vacation to Argentina, entrepreneur Blake Mycoskie met a woman who worked with a volunteer organization that gave shoes to kids in need.  Mycoskie joined in the cause and visited village after village and saw first hand the sores, blisters, and infections not having shoes caused.  He was deeply effected.  He came back to American inspired with a vision.  Shortly thereafter the vision for Toms was created…The One For One business model was the core mission of his shoe company.  For every shoe they sell, Toms will give a shoe to someone in need.  This core value of service has made Mycoskie and Toms very successful and set the path for how he would operate his then small company, which has grown to millions and millions of dollars in sales.

Toms founder Blake Mycoskie

Core values are enduring beliefs or ideals that drive one’s behavior.  It tells us “what is and what is not good” in our actions.  These guiding principles influence how we make our choices, what choices we do make, and often times how we are judged in our actions by these choices.  Like Katy Perry says in the song Roar, “I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything.”  Don’t be that Katy.

What happens when an individual or company does not have sound core values?  Well, ask Lance Armstrong and former members of the leadership team at Enron how that went.  Without core values, clear ideals and guiding principles that aid us in our decision making, we are playing with fire.  Tiger Woods’ domination of the golf world came crashing down when it was reported that he had been living a double life filled with lies, cover-ups, and extra marital affairs.

Core values help us make the tough decisions.  I love the concept that with clear values, decisions are easy.  I wish it was that simple, but if we haven’t examined what we stand for, the type of person we want to be, and what is important to us, sometimes decisions are not easy.  By taking ownership of your values and defining your beliefs – what’s important to you – you are setting up a system that will guide you through the challenges life throws us.  

Think about people that you respect and have learned from…maybe they are your parents, grandparents, coaches, teachers, family members, your pastor, or close friends.  What have you learned from them?  How do you want them to see you?  How do you want your children to see you?  Remember, most children do what you do, not what you say.  If you haven’t yet, it’s time to think about your core values and write them down.  Here are two articles to help you drill down your core values:

7 Steps to Discovering Your Core Values

Define Your Personal Core Values in 5 Steps

While speaking to a leadership class at Sumner High School, I shared my core values.  I came up with an acronym: GEARS.  In order to achieve our goals and final destination in this journey of life, its important – just like a car – to have the transmission (your belief system) in the right gear. 

Gratitude: in all things be grateful.

Effort &

Attitude: no matter what is happening around me, I can always control my effort and attitude

Right Thing: “R” stand for “Do the RIGHT thing.”  The definition of integrity is doing the right thing when no one is looking.

Service: My goal is to leave a legacy of service…loving and helping others.

Carroll’s book: Win Forever is a must read

Pete Carroll’s first two stints as a head coach in the NFL didn’t go as well as he had hoped.  First with the New York Jets and later with the New England Patriots, both ending in him being fired.  After being let go from the Patriots organization, Pete went through something he had not experienced in his career…he had no job, but time, a lot of time.  This time away from the game forced him to re-evaluate his coaching philosophies.  While as a head coach in NY and NE, Pete felt he was not letting his true core beliefs and values shine through.  He conformed his approach to meet the old school expectations of leading the way NFL teams have always been lead: having no fun and coaching players out of fear, instead of uplifting them.

Inspired by legendary UCLA basketball coach John Wooden’s Pyramid of Success, Carroll wrote down his core values and coaching philosophy.  He promised himself, the next time he had the opportunity to be a head coach, he would run his program lead by these guiding principles.  The rest is history…he dominated the Pac-12 at USC and when no believed his style would work in the NFL, his approach has proven very successful and copied by many other coaches in the league and by coaches from other sports, including Steve Kerr from the record setting Golden State Warriors.

Take time, just like Carroll…dig deep and discover your core values.  Once you have come up with these pillars of believe that drive your behavior, write them down and tell someone and remember:

You can’t follow your dreams if you only follow others. 

My next topic in my series “Building Your Brand” will focus on identifying your strengths.  Enjoy the holiday weekend!!!

PS: Interested in getting inspired about discovering your core values?  Read this book…its a game changer!

BUILD YOUR BRAND

Do you know that you are always interviewing? Whether you are aware of it or not, people are creating a perception and label of you. With our family, friends, at the office, social media…we are constantly forming people’s opinions of us by how we carry ourselves, act, talk, what we post, and how we treat others. This thought can be overwhelming and sound like a lot of pressure, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s time to start thinking about your brand. Your brand should be consistent and cross over to all areas of your life (at home, at work, socially, etc.). But how can it be consistent if you haven’t spent time examining, exploring, and asking yourself vital questions that help you understand what drives your behavior? The cool thing is, if you know who you are and are comfortable in who you are, and know what you want – who gives a %$#@ what people think?

Here lies the question: do people see you the same way you see yourself? Have you set your standards too low for yourself? Are you maximizing your strengths? Do you love to wake up each day and have a zest and zeal to achieve your goals? These are the questions that I hope to help you answer in my next few blog posts. My goal is to help you explore 3 areas that form your brand – I call it your WHAT, HOW, and WHY:

• WHAT: what are your core values?
• HOW: how are you unique – what are your strengths?
• WHY: why do you do what you do – what motivates you?

Here’s the deal, you should not let others create your brand, image, or label for you. We all should take ownership of our brand. We have the freedom to choose our mindset and our actions each day. This unspeakable freedom should not be underestimated. I hope today is the day you take ownership of how others and you see yourself. Every corporation and company has a brand: Nike, Starbucks, Nordstrom, and Apple, are a few of my favorites. When you think of these companies, you instantly have a perception of what they stand for, what they are good at, and why you buy from them. These and other companies have spent hundreds of hours and millions of dollars to formulate their brand. Isn’t it time you do the same?

The most powerful force in the universe is how you see your self – your self perception.  

Have you ever been to the circus?  I have not, but mindset coach Tony Robbins often tells a story about elephants at the circus. When elephants are newly born, their owners tie the elephant up to a stake in the ground. That little elephant tries with all his might to break free from that stake. Unfortunately, that little guy hasn’t developed enough strength to break away. This elephant tries and tries each day to break away to no avail and eventually gives up. As the elephant grows and grows he doesn’t even attempt to pull free, because he has been conditioned to think he’s stuck. He doesn’t understand the power he has, because his perception of his strength has been greatly diminished by conditioning from outside forces.  

Can you relate to this example? Have you been conditioned to see yourself a certain way? Its time to reassess your perception. Only you have the power to change your standards and how you see yourself, as well as others. The old saying, “whether you think you can or cannot, you are right,” fits perfectly here. My next three post will help you explore and think about what makes you, you. I’ll help you examine, what is your true north…what are your core values? Next, I’ll help you identify your strengths and how you can use them to generate personal satisfaction and wealth. Finally, and most importantly, I discuss finding your why – what drives you and motivates you to take action and be your best…is it recognition, money, creating a better position for your family, or something different? 

Check back in…I’m excited to help you build your brand.

COMMIT TO BE FIT

How’s your fitness right now?  We all know the many health benefits of exercising, but there are many obstacles getting in the way of making working out one of our weekly habits:

• Work
• Kid’s schedules
• Lack of time
• Several other commitments
• Don’t know what to do
• Don’t enjoy it 

All of these are real challenges, but we need, have to, and MUST make physical fitness a key piece of our routine to be the best version of ourselves.  According to the Mayo Clinic, let me remind you of a few of the physical benefits:

• Increases energy
• Combats health conditions and diseases (heart disease, blood pressure, lowers cholesterol, etc.)
• Controls weight
• Promotes better sleep
• Puts the spark back into your sex life (where my married peeps at?)
• Prevents injury

The physical advantages of committing a life of fitness are clear, but did you know your mental health will drastically improve as well.  Here are some of the advantages exercise will provide your mental state:

• Improve your mood
• Alleviate anxiety
• Improve self confidence
• Boost “happy chemicals” (endorphins, which decreases depression and increases happiness)
• Tap into creativity & improve brain power
• Improve memory

I believe all these physical and mental benefits to be true, but let me personalize why I work out.  I’m a fairly vain person.  I take pride in my appearance and want to look good.  However, I exercise because its an escape and I really enjoy it.  I once was told by former WSU defensive back coach, Kenny Greene, who looked amazing for his age, “Weight lifting is the fountain of youth.”  I believe this to be true.  If done correctly, mixing in weight bearing exercises with some sort of cardio reduces risk of injury, increases energy, and helps you feel and look younger. 

The physical benefits are clear, but I must say, the mental benefits might be more impactful!  The gym is the number one place where I think.  We all should spend at least 15 minutes per day by ourselves thinking.  When I get to the gym, I have my music playing, my blood is flowing, I’m letting off some steam, and I am getting after it!  This personal time is such a release.  Many of my ideas for work, life, and even this blog come to me while I work out.

Need a work out playlist?  Check out my “gym-flo” mix on Spoitify HERE (note Parental Advisory…these beats may make your booty shake and inspire you to turn into the Incredible Hulk; oh and I like R&B and Hip Hop, so there is some creative usage of the English language).   

Find a way to incorporate physical activity into your weekly calendar.  if you have been lagging behind in this department, be intentional with your time and write it into your schedule, just like you would schedule an important business meeting, or lunch with a friend.

What changes can you make to incorporate physical activity to your daily or weekly routine?  The first year we lived in Lakeland Hills, my longtime friend and neighbor belonged to a gym 9 minutes away from our house….I joined and I think I went 5 times all year.  I opted to work out when I traveled or would just go for a jog occasionally when home.  A year later, I realized I wasn’t incorporating enough weight lifting into my routine.  I switched my gym membership to Tahoma Fitness, which is literally across the street from my house.  It’s $20 more expensive than my old gym, which is why I joined the other one…but that one change drastically increased the frequency I workout.  How I feel and the mental and physical results significantly out-weigh the extra dollars spent.  What’s the one thing you can change?  You should treat your body and mind the same way you should treat your marriage…with commitment, accountability, and make it a priority…oh and it should be fun!  Below are my 5 areas to self-fulfillment – physical fitness being one.

Physical Health & Fitness is one of the 5 areas of self-fulfillment (I’ll talk about the other 4 later)

 If you don’t belong to a gym, come up with a physical activity plan that works for you.  You don’t need to work out for 2 hours to be effective.  Studies have shown that 15 minutes per day, increases mental and physical health.  If you don’t know much about how to exercise, the internet is a great place to start for ideas, or what I recommend is reaching out to a few people you know who workout in a way you think aligns with your needs and pick their brain.  You could always sign up for a personal trainer for a few sessions to help get you started.  Reach out to a friend and go in to this journy of fitness together.  Teamwork makes the dream work!  Having someone to help hold you accountable, might be the x-factor of making fitness a habit.  Trust me, take action…your physical and mental health will be well worth the investment.

Need a quick workout?  Check out my favorite on the go exercise routine…takes only 10 minutes!

DISCOVER

Have you heard of the name Judah Smith?  If you live in the Northwest and are into young adult ministry (ages 18-30ish), love the Seahawks, your favorite golfer is Bubba Watson, and you are a charter member of the Justin Bieber fan club…then you probably know him.  This guy has a lot going on…not only is Judah a New York Times Best Selling author (the book Jesus Is____), he’s also best friends with Bubba, he’s the Biebs pastor and mentor, and Judah JUST added Seattle Seahawk Chaplain to his resume this past fall.  On top of all those cool points, Judah and Chelsea Smith are the pastors at The City Church, which has several locations in the greater Seattle area (their main campus is in Kirkland).

Judah is (in mine and many other’s opinion), the alpha dog, pioneer, and leader for this new wave of young and hip pastors that spread the gospel in non-traditional ways (if you haven’t, look up Carl Lentz, Chad Veach, John Gray, and Rich Wilkerson, Jr.).  These trend setters use fashion, pop culture references, music, sports analogies, hysterical wit, and deep storytelling to convey the message that church isn’t about religion.  It’s about loving yourself and others, but mainly, it’s all about one man – Jesus.

Judah Smith

When we lived in Issaquah, we made the City Church our church home.  Since moving back to the south end (near Lake Tapps), that trek to Kirkland with three kids 3 and under is a little much to handle.  We love calling Puyallup Foursquare our church home now.  However, with the beautiful invention of the internet, we often get caught up on how things are going with Judah and the City Church by watching his sermons on their website (check out his sermons here).  This past weekend, we went on a family walk down our big hill (two miles round trip…it’s a BEAST) and brought along our “church on the go” technique.  With Winnie in the stroller, I propped up my iPhone and synced it up with our Beats Pill (this hill can get a little noisy due to cars driving up and down).  This mobile church method is amazing – try it sometime – you get to get Jiggy with Jesus, while you work your glutes (uhh, what, did I just say that?)!

My walking buddies

During this walk, we listened to Judah discuss the challenges and importance of relationships.  He told a funny story about him and Chelsea early in their marriage.  But during his sermon, he said a phrase that really resonated with me.  He talked about how many fall into the path of comparing; keeping up with the Jones’s; looking for the flaws in others to make us feel better.  During this eloquent talk, he said a phrase that sang to me and caught my ear just like the first time I heard Rihanna sing, “Work, Work, Work, Work, Work” (what she says after that only God knows).  Judah proclaimed,

DISCOVER the beauty in others.

I love this.  So simple, but so true.  I love that he used the word “discover.”  I loved it so much I looked the word up to see all the definitions.  Discover means to:

·         Find (something or someone) unexpectedly or in the course of a search

·         Become aware of (fact or situation)

·         Be the first to observe

·         Perceive the attractions of (an activity or subject) for the first time

·         Be the first to recognize the potential of (someone)

Think about applying all of those definitions when looking at other people.  Use the word “discover” to look at, think about, engage and communicate with others…if you do, it is truly beautiful.  I’ve been guilty of comparing what I have (my physical traits and worldly possessions) versus what others have (good or bad).  Social media is not helping with this epidemic of comparing and envy.  Instagram, Facebook, and Snapchat are vehicles for many to showcase a false reality to make others view them in a certain way.  Conversely, many of us look at these social media apps as a platform to point out the flaws, past judgement, and stack our chips vs. others and say, “HA!  SEE! I’m cooler than so-and-so.”  Can we make this STOP please!

What lens do you view the world in?  What glasses do you wear when looking at other people?  Are you wearing these glasses (glasses that COMPARE):

Or are you wearing these glasses (glasses that CARE):

Are you looking through a lens that compares or cares?  Let’s discover the good, the beauty, and the gifts in others.  Let’s celebrate other people’s success without jealousy.  Let’s continually lift people up with words of encouragement, positivity, and love.  What good does the alternative do?  Being bitter doesn’t make you better, it just makes you sour.  This type of vision is blurred and will throw you off track and set you back from being the best version of you.  On the flip side, no one is made the same or is perfect.  Many gravitate toward people who are most like themselves.  We tend to engage or interact with people who look like us, talk like us, and come from the same background as us.  Imagine what the world would be like if we all DISCOVER the beauty in others and look to find the good instead of the bad..  What if we were intentional with our thoughts and actions to embrace our differences and look for the hidden talents in others.  Breaking down the definition of “Discover,” what if we:

1.       Find something unexpectedly good in someone

2.       Become aware of someone’s passion

3.       Be the first to observe another person’s gift

4.       Perceive (think about) the attractions of someone different than you  

5.       Be the first to recognize the potential in someone…tell them and others of this observation

This approach, I PROMISE is a much healthier way to make you feel better, as well as empower others to be themselves.  This is what Jesus modeled.  When I see others who act, talk, and think the polar opposite of me…I sometimes revert back to some bad habits and start to cast judgment…but I try to remember to remind myself that God loves that person the same as He loves me…I’m no better in His eyes.  He cares for us no matter who we are, not matter where we are from, no matter our circumstance.  God’s vision is 20/20, He looks through a lens that Cares.  He loves us for who we are.  He celebrates our successes.  He loves us at our best and our worst.  I want to be like that for others.

What glasses do you want people to look at you through?  Do you want people to focus on your flaws or your strengths?  Maybe your outlook on life needs a new prescription.  Try this new pair on that I described and see how they fit.  I believe this lens will be much more clear and fulfilling.  Oh by the way, Judah wears glasses…just saying…I’m pretty sure which ones they are too.

DON’T BE PERFECT

“Never perfect, but never settled.” 

I love this quote.  This is from the 2015 reigning NBA MVP, Steph Curry.  This statement rings so true to me and speaks to some of the issues I’ve had to overcome and still work on each day.  I’m a bit of a perfectionist.  Thus, it pains me to say that I’m a little tardy on my 30 Days of Gratitude and Service posts.  I’m about a week and a half behind schedule.  Forgive me.  I need Steph’s quote right now just like the Golden State Warriors need his lights out 3-point shooting.  This quote hits the mark.  Arguable the best player in the NBA, Curry is reminding me to not let perfection get in the way of very good.  Do not let the thought of not being perfect be the reason why I quit or to take a long hiatus from finishing my blog series (or anything in life for that matter).  But he also says to not settle for average, mediocrity, or anything less than your best.  We are not defined by outcomes.  Sometimes I fall prey to that concept.  I’m working on judging myself not solely on wins or losses, but on my process and most importantly, my effort and attitude.  I’m learning that not being perfect is ok.

This is where some people give up though…when things don’t go as planned; the process or the outcome was not the same as the vision that you created when you started on the journey.  You failed, you missed your mark.  It was too hard or too scary.  Let me just say that writing this blog has not been easy.  I mentioned earlier in my post “Habits,” that I get annoyed when people glorify being “busy”…what’s another word for busy?…I’m looking this up right now…ah found it, actually a few words popped up: occupied, involved, hectic, engrossed (my favorite).

So, it takes me, I’ve calculated, about 1.5 hours per post.  Before I ever typed one word for this blog, I had already thought about content and even wrote down notes for this entire series.  However, additional research, proof reading, looking for the perfect picture, and sighting sources – some posts have taken much longer than 1.5 hours.  Though its been hard, it has been a therapeutic process for me to let myself open up and be vulnerable.  I’ve had to work on not worrying about if people aren’t going to like what I write, or if its not worded perfectly, or if each sentence structure is grammatically correct (did I mention my mom is an English teacher?).  I’m still working on this with my writing and how I live life.  I need to just let it go (where’s Elsa when I need her?…oh that’s right, she’s possessed my 2 year old daughter), be me, and not get wrapped up in what I ASSUME OTHER PEOPLE WILL THINK.  Hey, I’m a work in progress here.

Most people are forced to balance multiple commitments at a time…this is nothing new.  But,
 I’ve been juggling my commitment to this blog on top of managing a 5 state territory and traveling a lot (flying to Anchorage, Boise, Spokane, driving to Eugene and back in one day…that was a doozy), One entire week was spent training a new rep.  On top of that, the time I’m at home I want to be present and engaged with my kids and give my wife the QT she deserves.  Let me just say that its been hard…BUT, meaningful and rewarding.

I’ve received amazing messages via text, Facebook, and Instagram.  I’ve connected with people I haven’t talked to in a long time because a post has really helped them.  One of my most rewarding opportunities that has come from this blog was speaking to the Puyallup Foursquare Church Ministry Institute students on Thursday (this is actually the reason, I’m behind on posts, I was preparing for a lecture).  Being in front of over 80 college aged kids and sharing my message of gratitude and service made all the hard work worth it though.  Chatting with a few of these students and staff after my talk and hearing how impactful my message was, made all the extra hours, getting up at 5am some mornings, missing a few shows on TV at night, and skipping a few workouts, all for the sake of a blog and a message worth the hard work.

I need to invest in an iron (T. Wade photo cred).

My encouragement today is that life is not a straight line.  Things don’t always work out perfectly.  Do not put the burden of perfection on you.  The only person to walk this earth perfectly was Jesus.  When things get hard, dig in, have some grit, and keep going.  Keep your sight on your goals and go for it.  My supervisor when I worked in the WSU Athletic Department, John Johnson, used to say, “They said it would be hard, but they said it would be worth it.”

Don’t be perfect, but never be settled.  

I’m committed to finishing my series 30 Days of Gratitude and Service by next Monday (April 3rd).  If you have fallen short on a commitment, its time to get back on the horse and try again.  I opened with a b-ball quote, I’ll end with one too.  Michael Jordan once said, “I don’t fear failure, I fear not trying.”  I love you all.  I’m out.

BELIEVE PART II

Let me share about my experience with the Law of Attraction.  The basic premise of this concept is that thoughts become things.  Meaning, what we think about the most and believe will come true, often time does.  If you believe that good things will happen or bad things will happen, you are usually right.  Our brain is like a magnet.  What we are constantly thinking about, we often times attract in our lives.  God is in control of our lives and always has the final say, but He also gives us the freedom of free will, which includes how we think.

Some people are born with the advantage of consistently being a positive thinker and believing the best is yet to come, but the vast majority of us are not.  For many, including myself, this way of thinking is a learned skill.  When I switched companies almost two years ago, one of my colleagues shared with me the power that the Law of Attraction offers.  For one year, I read a plethora of books and articles on this topic and applied these teachings to my life.  I’ve created my own diagram on how to apply this way of of thinking (see below):

Law of Attraction Steps:

Step 1 – Be Grateful: In order to get into the right frame of mind, focus on all the things you are grateful for.  Those who are constantly bitter, stay bitter because they chose to focus on the wrong things.  Don’t be bitter – be better!  Being grateful is the first step in achieving your goal.

Step 2 – Feel Good: Being grateful helps turn our internal frequency into a positive one, which helps us feel good inside.  Feeling good sends out a frequency (much like a cell phone tower) that attracts more positive things.  Think about past positive experiences, laugh, smile, dance, or do something nice for someone.  Our mind is like a television, when you feel positive and happy emotions inside, you are taking control of what pictures show up on the screen.  You will set your internal television channel into a positive one that creates happy results. 

Step 3 – Set a Goal: This one is simple…what is it that you want to achieve?  First, focus on what you are thankful for, then focus on feeling emotions of joy and happiness.  These two steps will help you determine what it is that you truly want and set your internal frequency to a positive one, which will open yourself up to receive more positive things.  Once you’ve decided what your goal is, write it down somewhere and look at it everyday (If you haven’t, see my post on Goal Setting).

Step 4 – Visualize: Creative visualization is a mental technique that uses the imagination to create success and make dreams and goals come true.  Richard Bach once said, “To bring anything into your life, image that it is already there.”  When you spend time imagining in vivid detail the sights, sounds, and feelings of acting out your goal, the odds of it coming true drastically improve.  This is a technique used by successful athletes and business men and women all over the world.  Check this article out: 8 Successful People Who Use the Power of Visualization  

Step 5 – Believe: Whatever the mind can conceive and BELIEVE, it can achieve.  You must believe with all of your mind, body, and soul that you can achieve your goal.  Belief is the single most important step in turning your dreams into reality.  Anyone who has ever achieved anything of significance, first believed in themselves…YOU CAN DO IT!  BELIEVE IN YOURSELF or no one else will. 

Step 6 – Achieve: When you do these 5 steps, you will achieve your goal.  Remember that success doesn’t come overnight, but takes time and hard work as well.  Many people are looking for a quick fix.  However, when you apply this approach to your life and consistently practice these steps daily, you will see your life truly change.

X Factor: Serving and helping others magnifies what you attract in your life.  Love is the most powerful emotion in the world.  Serving and helping others is a close second.  When you live your life making love and service a main focus, you will attract deeper relationships, success, and true happiness…you will also receive more than you can ever imagine.

This approach helped my wife Kendra and I get our dream house, when it looked like it wasn’t possible.  This technique has helped me reach monthly and yearly goals at work never seen before from a 1 or 2 year sales rep.  My life and job satisfaction have never been better.  I hope you apply these Law of Attraction techniques in your life as well – and make your dreams a reality!

Exercise: Close your eyes, and visualize that you already possess or have achieved your dream.  Imagine what you are wearing, the people around you, where you are, how it feels, and the praise you are receiving for achieving your goal.  Believe with all your might that you can achieve this goal.  I can’t wait for you to apply this way of thinking to your life – and see what you WILL accomplish!

My next post I’ll review the importance of creating strong habits.  I hope you are enjoying and seeing the benefits of this journey 30 Days of Gratitude and Service!

BELIEVE PART I

“Confidence is at the root of so many attractive qualities, a sense of humor, a sense of style, a willingness to be who you are no matter what anyone else might think or say…”
                                                                                    – Wentworth Miller

Andrew Carnegie, the leader in the expansion of the steel industry during the late 1800’s and early 1900’s understood the power of serving others.  He was the Bill Gates and Warren Buffett of his time.  In 1901, Carnegie sold his steel company for $480 million dollars (that’s $370 billion today), yet for nearly the last 20 years of his life, he had given 90% of his income away to charities, foundations, and universities.  He also did something possibly even more philanthropic.  During his booming years of pioneering the expansion of the steel industry, he recruited a young writer named Napoleon Hill to follow him and his wealthy business associates around and observe their behaviors.  Carnegie’s goal was to have Hill write a book to be shared with the world on what traits, habits, and thought processes that were practiced by the wealthiest and most successful people at that time in America.  He wanted to share this knowledge with the world to hopefully help others be the best version of themselves.

After studying these behaviors for 20 years, Hill was able to drill down to one common thread that these successful people possessed.  After capturing these observations, he wrote one of the best selling business books of all time (70 million copies sold world wide) entitled Think and Grow Rich. What was the common trait that these individuals had?…self belief.

Hill introduced a concept he called, “The Law of Success,” which is often called, “The Law of Attraction.”  The Law of Attraction has been written about and shared by many (see The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne or The Magic of Thinking Big, by David Schwartz).  It is the philosophy that what Hill famously said, “Whatever the mind can conceive, and believe, it can achieve.”  People who have unwavering conviction and belief in themselves, usually are the ones sitting on top of the food chain of life.  We all are going to hear “no” and sometimes fall flat on our face.  However, the ones that do not let these setbacks detract them, but continue to have unwavering faith in themselves, ultimately find success.

There are few athletes that exemplify the power of self belief more than Derek Jeter.  One can go on and on about his accomplishments – he’s a 5 time World Champion, clutch performer in the post season, and Yankee record holder in many categories, but there are 2 Jeter stories that I love the most that deal with self belief (gotta represent #2 for The Captain!).

When Jeter was a young boy in Kalamazoo Michigan, he always dreamt of playing shortstop for the Yankees.  He was so passionate and focused on his goal that he pinned a Yankees hat, jersey, and baseball pants up on his wall and looked at them every day for many years.  Despite being from a cold state that didn’t have the best track record of generating first round draft picks, Jeter truly believed and continually visualized himself as a Yankee.  Sure enough, his self confidence and belief paid off when he was selected with the 6th pick in the first round of the 1992 draft.  Jeter innately practiced the power of visualization during his youth.  While no one gave him a shot, he helped make his dream a reality by mentally picturing himself already accomplishing his goal.  

The other story I love about Jeter had nothing to do with an amazing clutch hit or game-saving play at shortstop.  It had to do with failure.  During his first full season in the Minor Leagues, Jeter set a record for the highest number of errors, a whopping 56!  Many scouts and even Yankee coaches considered moving him to the outfield.  But Jeter stuck with it; he didn’t waver in his confidence, he put in the work and got better and better each year, later winning 5 Gold Gloves in the Majors at shortstop.  

These 2 stories about Jeter teach us a few things:

1. Do not limit your dreams or goals…remember: Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve…I also love what Russell Wilson often says, “Why not us?”  I’ll ask a similar question…”Why not you?”  The “haves” versus the “have nots” often comes down to self belief.  You already have everything you need to be successful.  You just need to believe it!
2. The power of visualization is real.  When you consistently visualize yourself already achieving your goal – imagining yourself attaining what it is that you want – what you’re wearing, your exact location, the smells, the sounds around you, etc – you will greatly increase the likelihood of making your dream a reality.  Make this a daily habit of picturing in your mind already achieving your goal and what it will feel like.
3. Do not let failure detour you from your goal.  Learn from your mistakes.  You are not defined by your failure.  All successful people fail…some hundreds of times.  The difference between the ones who succeed vs. the ones who fail is only a matter of getting back up!  Thomas Edison once said, “I haven’t failed, I’ve just found 10,00 ways that won’t work.”

A goal without belief is like a car without an engine.  We can’t make goals and hope they happen.  We must take control of our life and MAKE THEM HAPPEN, through determination and conviction. Check back in as I delve deeper into the Law of Attraction and the power of belief, while sharing a few personal stories to help bring this concept to life.  Happy Friday!!!

CREATING PURPOSE THROUGH GOAL SETTING

Imagine going on a road trip without a map or GPS to guide you to your desired destination.  You would get lost and it would take you much longer to arrive to where you wanted to go (and probably several useless detours, and money wasted on extra gas).  Living life without goals is pretty much the same thing.  People who are not setting goals are living life without a GPS system.  When you set a clear measurable goal, you will create a vision for your life, purpose for your actions, and you will undoubtedly arrive at your desired destination.

There was an eye-popping study from Harvard that looked at the impact of writing down goals (from the book, What They Don’t Teach You in the Harvard Business School, by Mark McCormack).  Researchers followed Harvard MBA graduates 10 years after they graduated, and what they found was remarkable.

The study was simple, upon completing their degree, each graduate was asked this question:

“Have you set clear, written goals with your future and made plans to accomplish them?”

At the beginning of the study, the researchers found:

• 84% had no specific goals at all
• 13% had goals but they were not committed to paper
• 3% had clear, written goals and plans to accomplish them

10 years later they interviewed these graduates again, and the results were staggering:

• The 13% of the students who had goals were earning on average twice as much as the 84% who did not set goals.
•  The 3% who had clear, written goals were earning, 10 times as much as the other 97% put together.

Wow, right?!  Let’s put that into perspective… 97% were making on average $50K per year, and 3% (who were writing down goals) were making $500K per year… that makes things pretty obvious.  When you have a clear focus on what you want to accomplish and think about it everyday, the likelihood that you will achieve it significantly increases.  This approach helps you answer this important question each day: Is what I’m doing right now going to help me achieve my goal?  

This is your internal GPS (Goal Performance System)…similar to what you use when you drive, but this one is for your journey in life.  If the actions and habits you consistently perform daily are not helping you reach your goal, than you probably shouldn’t spend too much time with those tasks.  We all get side tracked every now and then, but those who write down their goals and focus on achieving them each day, are much more likely to stay on the path to success.

The first time I remember writing down my goals was going into my senior football season in high school.  I wrote down a team goal and a personal goal.  My goal was for our team to go to the state playoffs and that I would earn All-State honors.  I wrote these statements in a note card and taped it above my closet, so I’d look at it everyday before I got dressed.  So guess what happened?  Despite having a new coach, and losing the majority of our starters from the year before, we made it to the State Quarterfinals and I earned multiple All-State honors from several news outlets including the Seattle Times and Tacoma News Tribune.  It’s one thing to have a goal, but you really have to believe that you can achieve it that makes it powerful.  I remember visualizing our team playing in the state playoffs, and also seeing my name in the paper on the All-State Team often throughout that season.  I was so pumped when it actually happened. 

I’ve seen my sales career greatly benefit from writing down my goals.  For the past 2 years (since I changed companies), I have really made this aspect of my business planning a big deal.  Each year, I write down how much money I want to make, what place in the rankings I want to finish, and how many customer orders I want to receive (monthly and for the year).  This formula has put me up on stage at our last two National Sales Meetings including a Rookie of the Year Award in 2014  and a Top Performer Award in 2015.  I’ve made more income than I’ve ever made in my life and I truly feel like my lens and perspective on what I need to accomplish each day is more clear then ever.

We can apply goal setting in our lives in more areas than just work or athletics…our marriage/relationships, parenting, our friendships, volunteering, and our hobbies all could benefit from writing down goals and looking at them each day.  So my challenge for you today during this 30 Days of Gratitude and Service is to write down 3 goals:

• Monthly goal
• Year goal
• A long term goal (at least 3-10 years out)

Write it down somewhere that you can look at it everyday.  This vision and road map will give you the direction and focus you need to be the best version of yourself and accomplish your dreams.  Good luck…I know you can do it!!!

TIP: Use this SMART format when writing down your goals.  Check back in for my next post on the power that belief and visualization has on making your goals a reality!

FEAR

What are you afraid of that is holding you back? What are you avoiding? Let’s face it, we all have fears – they’re natural & normal. Even the most successful people in their respective professions feel moments of anxiety and stress. Jerry Rice, the greatest wide receiver of all time, said that he felt fear before every football game. Grammy winner and multi-platinum selling artist, Adele, suffers from stage fright before every single performance. We all have moments of fear; the difference is who has the courage to face it?

For many, fear is debilitating, crippling, and paralyzing.  Depression and anxiety are draining the life out of millions of people each day. If we change our mindset and look at fear and stress from a different perspective, maybe we can learn to control some of our anxieties.

The emotion of fear is a needed response in times of crisis and danger.  The fight or flight switch in our brain keeps us out of trouble when something dangerous comes our way.  We become more alert, our heart beat increases, more oxygen is pumped through our veins, and adrenaline kicks in. These body responses are great if you are trying to avoid being hit by a car, but they can be to our demise when our physical safety IS NOT in danger.  Our mind can be our biggest strength, but also our biggest enemy.  We create moments of crisis in our minds that bring out these fight or flight emotions to avoid embarrassment and failure.  But if we can recognize that fear is often times a fake and a liar, then we can start to overcome these life-sucking thoughts and feelings.   

Fear is darkness.  In order to defeat darkness, we must shed light on our fears.  How do we let light conquer dark?  TELL SOMEONE!  Have the courage to be vulnerable and share with someone your fear.  Trust me, you are not alone.  Every single person on this planet deals with some form of anxiety, fear, and even depression at some point in their life.  No one is perfect.  Stop living your life thinking that you have to be perfect…you don’t.  We all have our own form of baggage.  Do not fear judgement.  Know that you are made uniquely special and that you are loved by more people than you probably even know.

Let me shed light on my darkness, my fear.  6th grade was the year that I recognized that I had a slight stutter or stammer.  It was something small that I let grow into something big – as if when I became self-aware, I let my mind make it a bigger deal than it was.  Many people might have had no idea that I worried about this, but those in my inner circle noticed.  It got to a point my sophomore year in high school, that I was so afraid of messing up on a word, that I avoided reading out loud in class at all costs.  That same year I had a semester of Speech class, where we were graded on our public speaking.  The night before each speech, I felt like Jesus the night before he was crucified, praying, “God, please take this cup from me,” where he was sweating blood out of his forehead. I would get through my speeches, but it was painful, I’d avoid certain words, and I often times stumbled over myself.  It was embarrassing and I felt ashamed.  I didn’t talk to anyone about it; I just wore that burden and kept it all inside.  I didn’t seek help or let anyone know what I was going through…have you ever been through something similar, where you avoided telling someone you were hurting?

So, most of my adolescent and young adult life my biggest fear was public speaking.  I was comfortable talking to others one on one, but it would be a cold day in hell before I agreed to speak in front of a crowd. It wasn’t until one fateful day at the Denver airport about to fly home from my uncle’s wedding when my parents sat me down (I was 26 at the time), and said, “Collin, we think you could benefit from speech therapy.”  I thought to myself, “Oh my God, is it that bad?”  I felt embarrassed and ashamed…but why?  Isn’t that what parents and other loved ones in our lives are for? I reluctantly enrolled in speech therapy.  It was uncomfortable.  It was humbling.  It was scary.  But it was the best thing I ever did.  After going to speech therapy once a week for 3 months, I had made drastic improvements in my speech, which boosted my confidence and shook down my anxieties, though I wasn’t completely done.

They say “Our greatest promise lies within our greatest pain.”  I continued to face my fear and starting going to Toastmasters (a club for people who practice public speaking in a group) weekly and was speaking with greater ease and more confidence each time.  Through a lot of practice and repetition, I became more and more confident and was loving my new found comfort speaking in formal situations. I faced my dragon and felt joy and rest in my soul.

Today, I seek out opportunities to speak in front of large groups.  In my current medical device sales position, I’m also a trainer for the westcoast.  If you would have told me 10 years ago, that I’d be presenting our new sales strategy to the entire sales force at a national sales meeting, I’d say no way!  I’ve accepted the fact that I do not have to be perfect to be effective.  If I mess up, people will not view me as a failure, but as human.  I have learned that the more I avoid speaking situations, the bigger hole I dig for myself and my confidence begins to sink.  However, the more I practice and create opportunities to present, the better I become. 

Remember, our greatest promise lies within our greatest pain…if you do what you fear the most, there is nothing you cannot do.  I find my deepest satisfaction and happiness when I do what I used to fear the most – speaking in public.  I still feel a few nerves and my heart beats fast like it used to before I present, but I’ve learned to speak positive thoughts to myself and not avoid, but ATTACK what I once feared the most.

So let me ask again, what do you fear?  What is holding you back from being the best version of yourself?  My challenge today is that you tell someone what is causing you anxiety and fear.  Shed light on your darkness.  You are not alone.  You have people who love you and are here to help you.  Seek professional help if needed.  TALK TO SOMEONE!  Create a plan to overcome your fear.  Do not sit.  Take action and control of your life, do not let fear control you.

We discussed in earlier posts about the power of gratitude and service.  Facing your fears is the next step to becoming the best version of you.  Check back later this week as I discuss the tools needed to conquer fear – Positive thinking and practicing positive self-talk.  Have a blessed day…in the end, know that you are made perfectly just the way you are and that God loves you!  You can do this!