Q & A: Volleyball National Champion MVP Christal Engle

In this Master Your Mindset Q & A series, you’ll read interviews from top performers who have inspired me in various sports. I selected individuals who were able to maximize every ounce of talent to do the extraordinary. Their ability to overcome adversity, consistently compete at a high level, and be an outstanding teammate are why they were chosen. Use their answers and experiences to help take your game to a higher level, as well as to gain perspective.

Christal (Morrison) Engle

• Professional beach volleyball player

• 2005 NCAA National Champion, University of Washington

• 2005 NCAA National Championship MVP

• Four-time All-American

CH: What is your proudest accomplishment as an athlete?

CE: Winning the Division I Women's Volleyball NCAA 2005 National Championship was by far my proudest accomplishment as an athlete. It was such an amazing journey to get to that point, and the moment you realize that your team had just accomplished what we had set out to do is a feeling that very few can experience...it is indescribable.

CH: What's the most important lesson you learned as an athlete that you have carried over into life? Please explain.

CE: BALANCE. This is the main part of my personal philosophy. As an athlete there are so many things we are expected to do. The ONLY time that I felt like I was performing at my best in all of the areas I was expected to was because I was living a balanced life. I believe that performance is hindered when you are only focused on one area of your life, but if you find a healthy balance between spiritual, emotional, and physical things, you will become the best YOU!

CH: Who was your role model? What did they teach you?

CE: I really looked up to my head coach at UW, Jim McLaughlin. He was not only a coach, but a mentor and a teacher. He understood that not every athlete should be coached exactly the same. Some athletes react positively to getting yelled at, and some athletes react very poorly to getting yelled at. He knew exactly how to get the best out of every individual on the team. He was also extremely focused and dedicated to the ultimate goal (the national championship) and his approach and preparation every day ultimately got us to that point multiple times.

CH: What was your favorite failure? What did you learn, and how did you overcome?

CE: I think as I progressed in my career and decided to go play beach volleyball professionally, that entire decision made me feel like a failure. As soon as I stepped on the sand I felt like I had never played the game of volleyball before. The beach game is so incredibly different from the indoor game, and I went from being very successful at indoor, to being at the bottom of the pool with beach.

It took a few years before I was able to feel like I belonged, and it took all of my energy and time to get to that point. I learned that when you put yourself out there, move a few thousand miles away from home, and try to do something that very few can do…it is daunting and scary but it is so worth it. It is worth every up and down along the way.

CH: Describe a moment when you were in a flow state (a.k.a., “in the zone”). What did it feel like?

CE: I remember playing April Ross and Jen Kessy at the Salt Lake City AVP Open. Jen and April had just won the silver medal in the London Olympics and were the best team in the world. My partner and I had put together two big wins before reaching them in the quarter finals, and I remember feeling like I couldn't do anything wrong. I remember feeling like I was in the right place at the right time, every time and making the perfect "reads" on everything. It wasn't until after we had won the match that I realized I was in a flow state and it was so fun to feel that level of performance especially against the best team in the world.

CH: What routines did you consistently perform during the day of competition to get yourself ready to play?

CE: Routines, rituals or habits…whatever you want to call them are essential to success. I had routines throughout my entire day. From the order of how I did things in the morning, to what I ate for lunch, and how I put on my gear for practice. The most important routine I performed to prepare for competition was my warm-up. It was EXACTLY the same EVERY time. My warm-up routine calmed my thoughts, and made even the biggest games feel like it was just another match.

CH: How often would you feel pressure and stressed? Where there any triggers?

CE: I always got butterflies before a game, whether it was a pre-season game or the Pac-12 Championship. I think the biggest trigger for stress was unforced errors I made. I had to learn how to get my heart rate back down and focus ONLY on what I could control and nothing else around me (as strange as that sounds with a team sport).

CH: Explain what your self-talk and internal dialogue was like after you made a mistake.

CE: I always brought it back to a process of what needed to happen and only focus on the first thing. In volleyball you can't do anything unless you pass the ball first. I also hyper-focused on my mechanics. I think focusing on how your body is moving rather than the outcome ultimately helps in the long run. I would talk myself through my mechanics over and over and over.

CH: What would you do to increase your confidence?

CE: I hate to say this, but I would say things to myself like, "Serve me the ball again b---h, because I'm the mother f-----g best passer in this gym" (ha ha). I never let it be known or vocalized it, but I performed at my best when I thought I was the best. 

CH: What was your why? What drove you to be a top performer?

CE: For me it was all about improvement. How good could I be? With our system at UW, everything we did was quantitated, so I knew exactly what level I was performing at. It was so incredibly fun for me to try and improve my numbers every day and reach specific percentages in practice. Every facet of the game was in itself another game for me. I was addicted to getting better.

CH: If you could go back in time, what advice would you give your younger self?

CE: I would tell my younger self to enjoy the journey a little bit more. I don't think I understood "balance" until after I made the move to beach volleyball. Although it takes so much sacrifice and focused energy to become the best, I also think that living a balanced life is key for success.

Thank you for reading! To gain more insights and tools to win the inner-game, Master Your Mindset the book is launching on June 23. PRE-ORDER HERE and receive a free video on Self-Confidence 101 and an e-book for coaches and parents called Positive Parenting. 

Pre-order Master Your Mindset and the Flow Journal today and take your mental game to the next level! Link HERE: MYM PRE-ORDER

MY 30 SECOND PHONE ADDICTION HACK

While walking through the airport the other day, I made a startling observation—whether I was standing in line to check my bags, walking to my terminal, waiting in line to get a bottled water, or sitting at my gate—nearly everyone was on their phone. I call these individuals phone zombies: walking or sitting with their head down, checked out, and senselessly in another world. I’m often guilty of being a phone zombie as well (just ask my wife). 

Does this scene look familiar?

I’m trying to change this. 

Over a decade has passed since the release of the smartphone. No doubt these devices have helped streamline our lives into one simple operating system: our calendar, search engine, camera, main source of email, texting, GPS, Uber, TV, Netflix, video games, radio, and finding food or finding a date—the world is literally at our fingertips 24/7. 

With the explosion of social media apps, every moment of down time it seems is filled with checking our likes, comments, views, and keeping up with the Joneses. 

The new “reality TV” is watching YouTube, SnapChat and Instagram stories all day long (you can still get your fix of the Kardashians on Snap and Insta as well). While all of these features make life easier— including desperate times like keeping your kids quiet while eating at the Cheesecake Factory—this frequent phone checking habit has been shown to be as addictive as alcohol or drugs. The happy chemical dopamine is released, and we crave this neurological sensation every time we search, swipe, and tap.

However, there is a blind spot within our internal Air Traffic Control.

A 1998 study found that the more time people spent on the Internet, the more stressed, depressed, and lonely they felt. Not much has changed in nearly 20 years. A recent New York Times study showed that college students who spend more time on the Internet/Social Media are more depressed and anxious versus those who spend less time.
How many times have you said, or heard your significant other say, “Please put your phone away.” 

I’m 100% guilty of this. 

I need to spend less time on my phone, and more time on this…oh and baby number 4 is coming soon!

The world could use less screen time and more of the original face time. You know, the one without your phone. 

I’ve been on a recent kick to increase my mindfulness muscle by studying the positive effects of mono-tasking. I’ve discovered the power of living in the NOW, through putting my phone down, focusing on my breath, and listening to my thoughts. These simple actions are just too powerful to not apply. From better relationships, sleep, less stress, improved memory, and a healthier mind, body, and spirit—I’ve seen positive results while practicing a new technique when I get seduced by the Apple (iPhone). 

If you are like me and trying to break the habit of constantly checking your phone, I offer a system that I created called BREATH. It’s based on the game-changing positive psychology finding of what Dr. Heidi Grant from Columbia University calls an “if-then plan.” Meaning, you create a predetermined plan to substitute a bad habit with a more productive one. For example, if X happens, then I’ll do Y. 

If-then plans have been proven to increase the likelihood of breaking a bad habit by nearly 300 percent!

Discover the power of NOW

When I get the urge to check my phone during the many idle moments throughout the day, I’ll practice the BREATH technique. Here it is:

B – Breathe
R – Release
E – Explore
A – Affirm
T – Thankful
H – Hope

BREATHE
When I have a break in the action—in my car, on the couch, or standing in a line, instead of checking my likes and emails, I’ll focus my attention on my breathing. I’ll take one to three deep breaths in through my nose, and out through my mouth. This simple act refocuses my energy, and changes my physiology (and urge open my phone). Trust me, the emails can wait. 

RELEASE
With each exhale, I release any tension or tightness in my body. I do a quick body scan, and relax my tense shoulders and tight butt cheeks (what can I say, I love leg days at the gym). As I continue to exhale, I release any negativity or unproductive thoughts that I’ve been stressing over. 

EXPLORE
In this relaxed state, I allow my mind to wander wherever it wants to go. I try to let my subconscious brain take over. The goal is to explore how I can make the day better for myself and for others. 

AFFIRM
You don’t need permission from anyone to be great. Instead of relying on likes, comments, or views to improve my self confidence, I give myself a few words of affirmation. Plato once said, “The first and greatest victory is over self.” Self love is sometimes the hardest one to give. By practicing positive self talk, I use this time to focus on my strengths, and get less consumed by my blemishes and shortcomings (which is an easy trap to fall into using social media—even for a husband and father of three like me).

THANKFUL
I’ll use this time of mindfulness to run through my gratitude checklist. I’ll visualize and feel the many blessings in my life that I’m thankful for—my wife, my kids, my health, and my career. This act of gratitude might be the most powerful step of all. 

HOPE
1 Corinthians offers the trinity of transformation: faith, HOPE, and love. I conclude my quiet me-time with a quick prayer of hope for my goals and for those I love. I see my goals as if they’re already done. I often leave this meditative state in a place of flow: completely present in the now—with myself and a larger force more powerful than me. 

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When I complete my BREATH exercise, I end up feeling more satisfaction exploring my subconscious and soul than I ever would exploring all my iPhone apps. 

Let me clarify, I’m not against smartphones. Due to work, being married, having kids, and having loving social relationships, my iPhone allows me to see and do things with much more convenience. However, I’m just trying to practice more self-care and invest more into my mental health than I am in my profile…which often times it is hard while producing a lot of creative content.

So the next time you get the urge to grab your phone while stuck in traffic, at Starbucks, having down time at home, or are at the airport, try to check-out, by checking-in to your BREATH. 

If you use this technique just three times a day, you’ll boost your inner battery, which needs a recharge, just as much as your smartphone. 

I created a free iPhone background as a visual queue for you guys – a way to remind yourself to follow these steps when you naturally would unlock your phone. 

You can download the background HERE. 

How to make this your background if you’re not familiar: Open this image, save to your phone by holding your finger down on the image until a menu pops up. Select “Save Image” – the image will now be saved in your photo album. From there, you can set as your wallpaper by selecting the image, tapping the lower left hand box with the arrow in it, and choosing the “Use as Wallpaper” option. 

Collin Henderson founded Project Rise to inspire individuals and teams to be the best version of themselves.

THE BANNISTER EFFECT

People said it couldn’t be done. It wasn’t possible. The closest any human had ever come to running under a 4 minute mile was in the 1940’s, with a time of 4:01. Track athletes and experts believed the human body just wasn’t built to beat the 4 minute mile barrier. 

After a subpar showing at the 1952 Olympics, medical student and Britain’s best mile runner, Roger Bannister, had a clear goal – to be the first athlete to run a mile under 4 minutes. 

Mind over matter legend, Roger Bannister

Due to his rigorous scholastic schedule studying to be a neurologist, Bannister would train his body physically running sparingly – a simple 30 minute daily interval routine was all he needed to prepare his body. While training physically was important, his self belief and vision made all the difference. 

With a clear stretch goal (his best previous mile time was 4:03), the Harrow, England native would often close his eyes and visualize every step of the race. While creating this image mentally before it happened, Bannister would see the finish line, hear the roar of the crowd, and feel the excitement of making history. 

What separated Bannister from the others who had tried and failed, was that he believed with all of his might that he could do it. He even would place a little piece of paper in his shoe while he ran that read 3:58. 

This belief, clear vision, and determined practice paid off. 

On May 6, 1954, the world of track and field was forever altered. Once was thought as impossible, was now possible. On an overcast and windy day (which finally died down), medical student Roger Bannister defied the odds and ran a world record, 3:59.4 second mile. The 3,000 plus crowd went wild. He had done it. Bannister defied what even physicians said couldn’t be done. What began first in his mind and felt in his heart, later became a reality in the record books. Bannister inspired millions that day – including his rival – Australia’s John Landry. 

Just 46 days after Bannister shocked the world, Landy beat Bannister’s record.  Not to be out done, the two paired off in what was dubbed as The Miracle Mile in August later that year. While trailing most of the race, Bannister beat Landy on the final turn.

In heroic fashion, Bannister passed Landy running down the final stretch. Landy made the mistake of looking back to his left, while Bannister passed him on the outside.

Bannister defied the odds again. What seemed like a raced he couldn’t win (he trailed nearly the entire race), Bannister battled back and won more from his faith than from his feet.

Bannister’s goal that was written in his shoe came true. He posted a time of 3:58.8, while Landy finished just behind him with a time of 3:59.6. At that point in history, both runners had posted the top four mile times in the world. 

For decades, people thought that breaking the 4 minute mile was unbeatable, but because of Bannister’s accomplishment, he inspired nearly a dozen runners to beat the 4 mile barrier within two years of his record.

KEY LEARNINGS:

• Bannister turned his 1952 Olympics failure of not medaling into fuel to improve
• He started his training with a clear goal, and visualized it occurring daily
• Bannister broke his goal down into smaller goals including shaving each lap by a specific time
• He carried over his discipline as an athlete into a successful career as a doctor of neurology
• After decades of believing something couldn’t be done, Bannister inspired hundreds of track athletes to BELIEVE and BEAT the 4 minute mile

Look at your life right now. What do you or others around you think to be impossible? Use Roger Bannister’s story as inspiration and as an example: With a clear vision, belief, and practice… you can create the Bannister Effect and turn the impossible into possible… and inspire others to do the same.

Aside from needing to learn how to iron his pants, Collin Henderson founded Project Rise to be used as a platform to inspire others and teams to master their mindset, and be the best version of themselves.

4 TRADITIONS WE DO TO IMPROVE OUR KID’S MANNERS AND CONFIDENCE

If you are a parent and have young children, here are two concepts to consider.

“Some habits are more important than others – the right habits have the power to transform your life.”

— Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit 

“The type of emotional support that a child receives during the first three and a half years has an effect on education, social life and romantic relationships even 20 or 30 years later.”

— K. Lee Raby, Lead author of a study published in the journal: Child Development

Being a student of positive psychology, having a deep curiosity in human performance, and being a devoted father of three children 5 years and under, I’d like to share four simple activities that we do as a family in the attempt to shape their confidence, manners, and well being.

Baylor (5), Winnie (1), Bellamy (3)

By no means do Kendra and I have everything figured out as parents – trust me, we fail a lot (is Mickey Mouse a legal babysitter?). Nor are our children perfect angels. We have our fair share of tantrums and timeouts. However, with the aim to guide our kids to be their best self, I’m going to share a few family rituals centered around what are called keystone habits. 

A keystone habit can spark chain reactions that help other good habits take hold. 

Below are four keystone habits that Kendra and I hope will set off a cascade of more good for Baylor, Bellamy, Winnie, and baby number four coming next month (prayers for sanity and sleep are welcome!).

1. Eat Meals Together As a Family

Eating together as a family around the table – especially dinner – may seem small, but has a huge impact.

As Duhigg writes in his book The Power of Habit, “Families who habitually eat dinner together seem to raise children with better homework skills, higher grades, greater emotional control, and more confidence.”

We make it a point to sit down together, put our phones away, turn the TV off, and pretend like it’s the 1950’s and talk. We 100% make this a consistent routine. Kendra cooks one meal for everyone – even our 1.5 year old Winnie is expected to eat what is served. No one can leave the table without asking permission to be excused.

This nightly habit helps our kids to learn patience, discipline, and to expand their palate. These skills will serve them as they are older and this definitely pays off when we eat outside our house or at a dinner date (packing different food for the kids is too much work for us!). 

2. Thank You Cheer

One of Kendra and my non-negotiables as parents is to raise our little Hens with manners. The two pillars of having sound manners are these two phrases: Please and Thank You. 
A fun way we model and encourage this behavior is what we call the Thank You Cheer. While we are sitting down together as a family and our meal is served, whichever parent didn’t prepare the food (which 95% of the time is me) leads this group activity of thankfulness. 

This cheer was inspired by the “team breaks” I used to do as an athlete. After practice, we used to all put our hands in the middle of the huddle and all yell out the same word or phrase in unison.

When we are all sitting around the table as a family, we can’t put our hands together as a group (#shortarms #can’treach). Thus, each person puts one hand on top of their other hand – which signals they are ready to begin the cheer. Once all hands are in the correct position, on the count of three, we all lift our hands in the air and yell, “Thanks Mom (or Dad)!” 

This is a simple and fun interactive game that uses movement to practice the winning habit of simply saying, “thank you.” Often times if I forget, either Baylor or Bellamy will put their hands on top of each other to signal the Thank You Cheer. Gotta love the accountability! 

This is a fact that I know to be true: manners go a long way…especially saying these powerful words daily, “Thank you.”

3. Praying Out Loud Before We Eat

Bella is our resident prayer expert. She starts every prayer with, “Dear Jesus, we pray for our life…”

Public speaking was a big fear of mine in my teens and as a young adult. I wasn’t alone with this trepidation. National surveys show that more people fear giving a formal speech then death. 

Knowing this, we’ve tried to help our kids practice public speaking at a young age – even as simple as praying out loud. 

I usually lead our family in prayer, but several times a week (and now it seems almost daily) we let Baylor and Bellamy take turns praying out loud before we eat. We’ve noticed over time that both have improved in choosing their words and speaking with more confidence. Bellamy is more of a natural and will even volunteer to pray when we have guests over (this makes me a proud daddy), but Baylor has made great strides as well. Months before, he wouldn’t even participate, but after much practice, he now volunteers. 

This routine serves three purposes: 

• It helps our kids establish a pattern of giving thanks
• They get a microdose of public speaking practice
• This encourages them to connect spiritually

We believe these are all great habits that one can’t enough of. 

4. Happy Breakfast/Super Excited Dinner

Henderson baby #4 coming soon!

One weekend this winter, our entire house got hit with the Black Plague. It started with me and I passed this gift of death to our whole family. It was nasty. I mean, stuff was coming out of every orifice. 

This was Baylor’s first time throwing up and it really triggered what we call “Mr. Worry.” That experience was quite traumatic for him and he often would worry that it would come back again. 

The fear of getting sick even impacted his confidence and desire of going to school.  Because of this we had several tearful dropoffs. Especially when he overheard his teacher discussing with a parent about a student being sick. On this day, Kendra even had to come pick him up. 
Recognizing this pattern, Kendra and I have developed several strategies to quiet Mr. Worry. One of these techniques is called Happy Breakfast and Super Excited Dinner. Understanding the powerful effects that starting your day off with gratitude can have (ex: writing in a gratitude journal, saying prayers, etc), I created a game that the kids love. In the end, you can’t be grateful and fearful in the same time. 

How can you trick your kids into being grateful?….Make a game out of it. 

We all take turns going around the table sharing one thing that makes us happy. After each person shares, we count to three and all at once pound our clinched hands into the table and say together, “Happy!” 

This act helps us focus on positive things and gets the day started on the right foot – especially for Baylor. This helps him, and our entire family begin the day with a smile. 
Once we circle back as a family at dinner, we go around the table and share what made us super excited from the day – it could be an activity, a game, a toy, or even a person. After each person’s turn, we point our fingers in the air, twirl them around, then touch the table in a quiet almost whisper like voice and say, “Ssssssssuuuper excited.” (With a big emphasis on the “S”).
These exercises foster communication, dialogue, and tend to quiet Mr Worry. Winnie usually says she is either happy or excited about Moana, but I love to hear what B and B come up with each day. 

After doing this for several months now, the older kids usually lead this breakfast and dinner tradition. I’m proud to say that Baylor closed out the school year without any nerves being dropped off at preschool. A lot of this growth was his own doing, but I believe this daily habit played a significant role as well. 

Great read for parents with kids of all ages

What are you doing to improve your child’s well being?

Kendra and I are still learning each day as parents. We have our fair share of ups and downs. But, we believe that investing in our children’s development is like compound interest – the earlier and more we invest – the greater the return for them in the future. 

I hope these four rituals spark some fun and new habits for you and your family. Taking the time to love, model manners, and have fun as a family, are the greatest investments of all. 

Collin Henderson is the creator of Project Rise, which is a platform to help individuals be the best version of themselves.

RISE AND GRIND: 4 BASIC METHODS TO MAXIMIZE YOUR TIME AWAKE

TO SLEEP OR NOT TO SLEEP – THAT IS THE QUESTION… 

I’m a little confused. Being an athlete and devoted student, I’ve been told for years to get at least 8 hours of sleep. Sleep is where you recover, recharge, and heal. We spend one third of our life sleeping, snoring, dreaming, and drooling. 

However, being on this Project Rise journey, I’ve studied entrepreneurs, innovators, and many game changing people who have shaped our world.  During my quest of understanding success, I’ve found a common pattern with these titans – they don’t sleep very much. 

Thomas Edison bragged about how little sleep he allowed himself. He saw sleep as a roadblock to his progress in many of his inventions – including the light bulb. T. Ed only hired people who required little sleep and could match his 18 hour work days. 

YouTube celebrity and creative juggernaut Casey Neistat often gets just a handful of hours of sleep due the demand of his successful Vlog. He stays up most hours of the night editing his daily videos for his over 7 million YouTube channel subscribers…see one of his short movies below. 

This grind mode lack of sleep approach might earn you a badge of honor (and possibly more followers or money), but it isn’t for everyone. Athletes and especially young people need ample time to recover, recoup, and build their bodies to health. One of the most dominant defensive players in NFL history, JJ Watt, says sleep is one of his formulas for success. He gets over ten hours of sleep per night – especially during the rigors of training camp. 

So which is it? 

Rise and Grind or Stay and Sleep?

Consider this sleep scenario looking at two brothers – Adam and Ben. Both have similar DNA, but both have very different nightly patterns. Adam sleeps 5 hours every night. Ben sleeps 10 hours per night. Based off of this example, Adam will live 21% longer than Ben. How is this? Because he will be a awake for more hours each day. 

Who wouldn’t want to live longer? Well, in this silly scenario, Adam isn’t living longer, he’s just sucking more out of each day, week, and month.

On the contrary though, what is a life when you are walking around like a tired sloth all the time because of lack of sleep? If this is you and you crave caffeine the same way vampires fien for fresh blood, then you, like millions of Americans, more closely resemble the zombies in the Michael Jackson video Thriller, than MJ in his prime. 

Let me expose you to a happy medium to this sleep debate. Its called L.E.D. or Lowest Effective Dose. NY Times best selling author, top rated podcaster, angel investor, and entrepreneur, Tim Farriss, uses this philosophy to optimize many other areas of life, not just sleep – except he calls it the Minimal Effective Dose or M.E.D. (Check out his book the 4 Hour Body…it’s full of gems).

I’ve kept this approach in mind when dealing with my sleep. I’ve studied myself and reflected on my H.E.Q. or Hours/Energy Quotient, by trying to answer this question: 

What’s the lowest minimal amount of sleep I need to be fully functional, engaged, and have enough energy to win the day?

I’ve found that my L.E.D. sweet spot is 6 hours. I can get by with 5 hours (but not ideal), and 7 hours is the most optimal. I’ve discovered that anything over 8 hours actually makes me more tired. 

What is your Lowest Effective Dose for sleep?

Accompanied by my L.E.D., below are 4 strategies I’ve found to help me feel more rested and filled with energy to maximize my hours awake.

Meditation

I’ve been tinkering with practicing mindfulness for years, and recently have gone all-in with this practice. The research is just too powerful. Over 150 studies suggest that a daily meditation practice (even for 10 minutes a day) reduces stress and anxiety – while helping one feel more rested and peaceful. 

Last week I did a guided meditation/visualization session with several student-athletes, and after we finished, one player said, “I feel like I just woke up from a two hour nap!”

Give your body the benefit of daily mindfulness. Here’s a link to help you practice: Headspace

Here’s a recent shot of me doing sensory deprivation therapy and meditation at Float Seattle/Bellevue. Shout out to Sean Mac and B. Hop!

Cold shower

Want to reduce inflammation? Want to boost your metabolism? Want to improve your blood circulation and support your immune system? Need a way to wake yourself up besides coffee? Try mixing in a cold shower as part of your morning routine. 

I’ve been taking a cold shower for several minutes each day for the past 6 months. I’m someone who loves a long hot shower, so this energy hack was a little challenging to adopt. To help with the transition, I usually start my showers off really hot, and while I brush my teeth, I gradually turn the temperature to as cold as it gets (I have an electric toothbrush which helps me keep track of time – it shuts off after 2 minutes). 

I do one minute of cold water on my lower back, glutes, and hamstrings. I finish with 30 seconds to a minute on each quadricep and knee. Having both of my knees scoped, I used to have tendinitis (especially in my left one). After making cold showers a daily routine, I’ve felt zero pain or irritation in my knees! 

Just like when I used to sit in cold tubs during my playing days, daily cold showers have helped me feel more refreshed, healthier, and full of energy. Give it a try!

Here’s an article to learn more about the power of cold showers. 

Power Nap

Taking a nap has gotten a bad wrap in America. Many look at this technique as a sign of laziness. I look at taking a 10-15 minute power nap as a strategy to recharge my body and mind. Many European countries see the value in taking a daily ciesta. They even build this daily practice into their work schedule. Companies like Google and Uber also see the benefit of shutting your eyes for a few minutes a day. They’ve even built nap rooms or spaces for their employees to get a quick rest in. 

Who wouldn’t love to have a nap pod in the old office?

Being in outside sales, I’m lucky enough to be able to control my schedule. A few times a month, during lunch time, I’ll take a 10-15 minute power nap in my car – especially if I was up late the night before writing a blog post like this! I’ll also sneak in a quick nap on most weekends (my favorite napping spot is in the car…I have the best wife…she’s driving of course!). 

Research shows that anything over 40 minutes will actually make you more tired and may be unhealthy (see article here). Remember to keep them short and sweet, and feel the benefit of this healthy restful practice. 

To learn more about the benefit of taking a power nap and the well-known companies that support it, click here. 

Passion

I saved the best for last. Unequivocally, the number one source that fuels energy is doing something that you love. How do you spell the word love? T – I – M – E. Passion and purpose are what fuels action and persistence. Whether you are Michael Jordan, Bill Gates, or Warren Buffet, doing what you love and excel in just flat out gives you energy.  It helps you bounce back from failure, and stay committed for the long haul. 

At this stage of my life I feel like I am able to wake up and feel ready to go because I’m doing what I love: whether its spending time with my family, crushing my medical sales job, coaching, or leaving a legacy and helping others through Project Rise. If your career is taking away your energy, it might be time to discover your calling. Doing what you love will give you the energy needed to live a juiceful life (yup, just made up a word)…if you wanna be useful, you gotta be juiceful! 

If your current career isn’t your life calling, then find something else you can do when you are not working that fills you up. You owe it to yourself to be intentional about doing activities that you love and that give you energy.Purpose is the ultimate passion and energy hack!

Make the Big Time Where You Are.

Now it’s your turn! 

If you use 1 or more of the 4 energy strategies I listed above and give yourself 1 extra hour of being awake per day, here’s the breakdown of how much extra time you’ll get:

• One month: 30 hours or over 1 extra day a month…what could you do with an extra day per month?

• One year: 360 hours or 2 extra weeks a year…that’s like a long vacation!

• Five years: 1,800 hours or 2.5 extra months every 5 years…that’s like getting an extra summer break!

What would you do with extra time? Would you read more? Develop a new skill? Exercise? Finally turn your side project into your main project? Spend more QT with your soul mate?

Whatever it is you chose to do, my goal for writing this post is that you find your L.E.D. for sleep; you try an energy hack that I listed; and you get the most out of each 24 hours you’re alive. The reality is, the most successful people are able to do more with their time. 

No one ever looks back on their life and says, “Damn, I wish I would have slept more.”

I don’t know about you, but I’m trying to squeeze out as many hours and days from Father Time as I can. Why?…

Because he’s a stingy bastard. 

Collin Henderson is the creator and founder of Project Rise.  Project Rise is a platform to uplift and inspire people to be the best version of themselves.

BACK TO THE FUTURE: USE YOUR PAST TO BUILD A BETTER NOW

I recently had a coach from my high school football team hit me up with a request. He wanted me to send him a photo from my playing days as a Puyallup Viking. He was working on a project highlighting former players.

I hit him back with a text that read, “No prob Coach. I’m on it!”

While I sent the text, I began to ponder if I even had any old football photos of me donning the mighty purple and gold (ironic thing to say coming from a Coug).

I tend to not be very nostalgic. I love spring cleaning. I get a mini rush of dopamine when I purge my closet. I don’t need to hold on to old things. – even my old sports stuff.

Realizing this, I started to get a little nervous.

While I was rummaging around our storage shelves in our garage, I couldn’t find any old pictures. “I must have either given them away or threw them out in the trash,” I thought.

While looking through some hidden boxes in the corner, I finally found what I was looking for – my high school yearbooks!

“There had to be a football photo of me in here,” I said to myself while feeling like I just found a needle in a haystack.

So there I was on an early Saturday spring morning, thumbing through yearbooks that I hadn’t opened in over at least a decade. What a blast from the past. Memories started flushing in. I saw faces I hadn’t seen in many years. I even texted some of these photos to my friends. It was hilarious…cargo pants and frosted tips; baggy jeans and polo shirts; Caesar cuts for the guys and shoulder length bobs for the girls.

I could fit another human in those huge pants…sup Gator?

I even started to read some of the comments and notes people wrote me in my yearbook. Instead of cleaning out my garage, I was reminiscing on my life as a teenager in high school. This exercise helped me reflect on my life during that time – the good and the bad.

I truly had a storybook run in high school. I was Homecoming King, voted “Dream Date,” was an excellent student, and won many awards as an athlete. However, like many young people, I often times was caught up in the lie of perfection. I was insecure and worried too much about what others thought of me.

Reliving some of those emotions again, I played the game of “What would I have done differently?” If I could go back in time, what would my relationships look like? Would I have trained differently? How would I have addressed some of my fears?

I felt a little like Uncle Rico from the classic film Napoleon Dynamite. “If I could just go back…”

Let me preface that I had an amazing time in high school. I had many awesome friends and experiences. I had outstanding support from my family and loved ones. But looking through these yearbooks reminded me of how much I didn’t know.

Upon reflection, I would’ve been more grateful. I would’ve served more people.Iwould’ve worried less and laughed more. Instead of trying to be cool and liked by everyone, I would have focused more energy on defining my core values and just loving me for me. I would’ve been more bold.

Taking it to the HOUSE!

I wouldn’t have WASTED a single hour or day on doing tasks that didn’t help me reach my goals.

Without even knowing it, this exercise change my emotional state. If you have ever listened to or watched the best business and life coach on the planet, Tony Robbins, you know that he’s all about getting people to change their state. When you’re in a heightened emotional state, you’re ready to take action.

While in this zone of reflection and reminiscing on my mindset and some of the things I would’ve done differently, it helped me create an exercise that I want you to do.

While going on a walk that evening, I pictured myself 10 to 20 years in the future. I imagined,

“How would my future self in 2037 assess my life right now, today, at this moment in 2017?”

What would a 57 year old Collin say to a 37 year old Collin? What advice would I give myself? What would I have done differently? What should I focus on? What is really important in life? Am I getting everything out of every single day, every single hour, every single minute?

I can’t get those years in high school back, and I can’t get these years back either.

I looked at this sign every day in the WSU weight room and believe this this to be so true.

I don’t believe in living in the past. I due believe in learning from our past to improve our future.

Coming to that conclusion and by feeling the emotions and memories looking through my old yearbooks, I did a self scout on myself and how I’m living RIGHT NOW:

●     What am I doing well and what areas can I improve?

●     What areas in my life am I avoiding?

●     What relationships do I need to fix?

●     What legacy am I leaving?

●     Am I playing to my strengths and going all in on my gifts?

●     Am I maximizing every second with my wife and my children?

●     Am I helping enough people?

●     Am I checking things off my bucket list?

AM I LIVING MY LIFE AS MY BEST SELF?

Knowing what I know now, and thinking about myself 20 years ago, this exercise got me really really excited. I almost had an out of body experience feeling like this is not my real life…this is just a dream.

I can start over right now and do anything that I want.

This exercise helped diminish some of my fears. This process help me get excited for living in the moment and for what’s to come. I had a huge sense of gratitude flow over me…even in the simple and small things. I left that mental exercise truly believing that I can write any story I want and live out my dreams.

I see you B. Rip. What’s up Coach W! Javon Deuce-Tray!

By reflecting on what I used to worry and obsess over in my past…I realized those were actually somewhat small things. It’s amazing what a few years away gives you in terms of perspective. I would tell my younger self to stop majoring in minor things…people’s opinions are just that – opinions – not facts. Your only competition is just you, and no one else. And here’s a key piece of advice: don’t be afraid to have crucial conversations with the people you love and who love you.

Why can’t we hack our brain and do that same exercise now?

My 57-year-old self would probably give me similar advice and tell me to chill the F out. Everything’s gonna be OK. Trust in yourself and trust in God. Just go for it!

This is my task for you. Here are 5 steps to go Back to the Future and Use Your Past to Build a Better Now:

1.    REFLECT: Help change your emotional state by looking at old yearbooks, pictures or videos of you in your youth, or 10 to 20 years ago.

2.    SELF-ASSESS: Reflect on if there is anything you would’ve done differently – not in a negative way, but with the approach of self scouting.

3.    EVALUATE: Decipher if some of the same fears, worries, or internal stories are holding you back today.

4.    FUTURE WISDOM: With this refreshed lens and perspective, pretend you are yourself 10 to 20 years in the future looking back on your life right now. What would you do different? Reference my list of questions above.

5.    TAKE ACTION: Decide to take action and do not waste a single day. Do things that you’ve been putting off. Mend relationships that have been broken. Attack your fears. Follow your heart. Live your dream. Reassess how you look at failure, and learn from it.

The time is now! We only get one at bat in life. Please don’t waste it.

That’s me on the left and my buddy since we were 6 years old, Brett the “Beast” Beetham on the right. We were later teammates again at WSU.

I eventually was able to find some old pictures of me at my parent’s house, and I sent them to the Puyallup football coach. I’m looking forward to seeing how this project turns out. After this experience of looking back at my younger self, I’m even more excited to create new pictures and memories living life like there’s no tomorrow.

My hope is that you do the same.

Collin Henderson is the creator and founder of Project Rise. Project Rise is a platform to uplift and inspire people to be the best version of themselves.

6 SIMPLE WAYS TO FIND INSPIRATION & CREATIVITY

Where does creativity come from? What do you do when you need answers to tough questions or are tasked to create?

I’ve taken notice where most of my inspiration and ideas come from. What’s interesting is that they come from the same handful of common places that you and I operate in everyday.

If you are an artist, stay at home mom, student, or climbing the corporate ladder – we all sometimes find ourselves looking for outlets to get our creative juices flowing. Whether you are facing a creative roadblock or have a tough decision to make, let me offer you a few strategies that will create clarity and calm. I hope these techniques and tips will help channel your subconscious and open up an army of ideas, and an arsenal of answers to the challenges that lie in front of you.

The key is to put yourself in positions to unlock your subconscious to be able to receive information. The best way to do this is to change your “state” by altering your physiology or biochemistry by some type of stimulus. 

Your brain is so powerful.  Are you using it to it’s full potential?

Through my experiences of taking note where my creativity comes from, I have discovered that there are 6 main Mediums where I find myself channeling creative thoughts and ideas unified synergistically by what I call a State Shifter.

Ever see the film Limitlesswith Bradley Cooper? They say the human brain only utilizes 10% of it’s capacity. Utilizing one of the 6 mediums combined with a state shifter attempts to tap into the other 90%. 

Use these 6 simple strategies and tap into your entire brain power, like Bradley Cooper’s character in Limitless.

Below are 6 simple ways to find inspiration and creativity:

1. Taking a nap

Medium: A quiet comfortable place to rest

State Shifter: Sleep

Ever see the movie Inception with Leonardo DiCaprio? I love the concept of “a dream within a dream.” DiCaprio and his partner in crime, played by Gordon Joseph-Levett, where tasked to extract or implant a thought or idea into a victim’s mind while they were sleeping. Why can’t we do the same to our own subconscious? 

The reason why I prefer naps to extract creativity is because naps support being in a Free State. You take naps when your body feels like it. You go to sleep at night because you have to. 

Try this, when you feel like you need an answer or creative inspiration, listen to your body when it feels tired. Don’t fight this urge, but go with it. Even if it’s just for 10 minutes. Find a comfy place and shut your eyes. Here’s the Inception twist – at the beginning of your decent, ask your inner Leo for inspiration in the area you are stuck. Let your subconscious go to work. What you’ll find is that the idea doesn’t come from the dream, put from what I call the “nap residue”…the peaceful time in-between when you are not asleep and not fully awake. This is where Inception Creation takes place. 

You will be in a complete relaxed state and your conscious and subconscious mind will begin to make-out like Leo and Kate on the Titanic. When you fully wake up, you’ll have your new idea, and will jump up, with your arms stretched out screaming, “I’m the king of the world!” Don’t just take my word for it. Ask multi-millionaire creatives Christopher Nolan and James Cameron. They’ll tell ya. 

The concept for my first book (coming soon), came from this place. I had just woken up after snuggling and taking an afternoon nap with my daughter Bellamy. During the nap residue, the vision flashed at me like a neon sign in Times Square. 

Give this technique a try…just make sure you are like Leo in Inception, and have a metal top handy when you wake up. 

2. Going for a drive

Medium: Car

State Shifter: Sound

One of my favorite of all movies without question is Rocky IV. Sly Stallone was in his prime. The Cold War was at its climax, and what 5 year old didn’t want a talking robot? I know I did. 

When the 7 foot Russian, Ivan Drago, defeated and killed Rocky’s best friend Apollo, Rocky needed to clear his head. What did the World Champion and Italian Stallion do when he was faced with an insurmountable challenge? He jumped in his sports car and went on a drive bumping the classic, “There’s no easy way out,” by Robert Topper. Fitting title wouldn’t you say? 

Rocky getting his mind right in his 1985 Lamborghini Jalpa

Through this process, Rocky was able to reflect, clear his mind, and walk away with a plan and a purpose. There’s something just therapeutic about going on a drive, the freeness of being on the open road, and feeling the emotion of your favorite song. 

Music is a universal language that stirs memory, emotion, and inspiration. Steve Jobs has been quoted by saying that his biggest inspiration and influence was not some tech nerd, but Bob Dylan. 

Another “sound” strategy I use while driving is listening to thought leaders through audiobooks, podcasts, or YouTube videos. I have my go-to’s that I seek for wisdom and inspiration. This is similar to what Superman would do when he was perplexed. He would go to his home ice-layer, insert a few crystals, and gain wisdom from his hologram father. 

Often times just one word or one phrase from a thought leader that I admire will spark an idea that leads to a solution or endless creativity. 

Just like how your car can transport you from place to place, this process will transform your mind to a new destination. Give this medium a try. You might discover Rocky-like underdog ideas and super human strategies inside of you.

3. Working out at the gym

Medium: Fitness center

State Shifter: Movement

I love to workout. The gym is my happy place. I’ve committed to myself and my health by making fitness a frequent weekly ritual. There are so many physical benefits that working out creates. My gym time helps me increase my energy, improve strength, and reduce the risk of injuries. 

The physical effects of exercising are clear, but what about the mental effects? For me, working out reduces stress, clears my head, and allows me alone time to think. There is a powerful force that happens when we move our bodies. Moving your body is one of the most effective way to change your state. 

Movement creates momentum. With momentum you discover motivation. When you are motivated you are able to tap into your memory on a deeper level. Ideas will surface. Inspiration will arise. Clarity will come through. 

Physical Fitness fosters Mental Fitness #gainz

Every time I leave the gym I have a new idea for a blog post, an added detail for my book, or inspiration for a social media quote. These fresh ideas wouldn’t be possible without being in an environment like the gym, where I’m free from my phone and other distractions. The added inspiration comes from changing my state through lifting weights – similar to lifting stress away – the tension and release of the weight is like lifting tension and weight away that is blocking my creativity. 

And here’s the thing, the more you practice, and the more repetitions you do, the stronger you will be. Not only in your muscles, but your ability to tap into fresh ideas and inspiration.

4. Shower Power

Medium: The Shower

State Shifter: Water

I love to take showers. There’s just something so soothing and relaxing about turning up the water really hot, generating steam, and just checking out for a period of time. With a wife and three children, those moments are fleeting, but cherished. Longer showers to myself is the real reason why I cover a large sales territory – to have frequent overnights to myself in a hotel (just kidding Kendra, being away from you and the kids is torture!). 

But seriously though, don’t mess with my shower time. My showers can never be too hot or too long. 

Growing up in a family of four, with just one sibling, I can’t remember many times fighting over the hot water. With this good fortune, I developed the habit of using this daily ritual as a form of meditation. No cell phones, no TV, no computers, no distractions. Just me, the water, and my thoughts. 

There’s something metaphorical about taking a shower. You are stripping down, getting clean, and using the water to wash away the old, and begin to feel anew. Cleanliness, feeling refreshed, and recharging aren’t the only benefits showering provides. For me, the shower also serve as a canvas. I often use the hot steam to fog up the shower glass. This precious creative place is where I make lists, draw diagrams, charts, and develop new acronyms. My shower glass is like a whiteboard. While in there I’m like Russell Crowe’s character in A Beautiful Mind. I’m unlocking puzzles and solving problems. 

Sometimes Kendra will shower after me at some point in the day and find what looks like hieroglyphics, Chinese characters, or some alien language that I’ve created during these thought-provoking shower sessions. She will often ask, “What did you come up with this time?”

There have been countless instances where I entered the shower with an issue or uncertainty, and after feeling the warmth of the hot water, listening to the soothing sound of faucet flow, and feeling the hot misty steam – my brain begins to unthaw. 

Just me, my breath, my thoughts, and nothing more. The shower is where I think, I ponder, I process, and I rest. 

Don’t underestimate the power of taking a shower. Endless answers and countless creation is at your disposal. Just remember to squeegee when you’re done. 

5. Going on a walk

Medium: Walking outside

State Shifter: Nature

Creative people have an eye for the creativity all around us, and the best in their field immerse themselves in these natural creative settings. I call this state shifter “nature.” What I really mean by nature is the world all around us – the trees, flowers, hills, landscape, water, sunsets, the city, buildings, architecture, etc.

What is more beautiful and inspiring than God-made AND man-made creation?

What better place to foster creativity than the beautiful world we live in? If you are spending most of your time in a sedentary, stagnant, and sitting position in a cubicle staring at a computer, you’ll be hard pressed to come up with fresh and new ideas. 

Get your butt out of your seat. Create some movement by going on a 10-20 minute walk outside. Get the blood flowing and take in the beauty all around you. Moving your body is one of the best ways to change your state and channel creative energy – even if it is as simple as going on a walk. 

Debbie Millman is a designer, author, educator, and brand strategist. She’s worked with many major companies and projects ranging from Burger King to Star Wars merchandising. She is labeled as one of the most influential designers today. According to Millman, one of her tried and true methods to get out of a creative rut is to go outside and go on a walk. This activity helps clear her head and flush out creative blocks. 

Millman is a creative force like no other.  Please check out her interview on the Tim Ferriss Podcast Here….simply amazing.

Living in Manhattan, Millman taps into an endless supply of natural creative inspiration just by going outside. From people, to sounds, to architecture, to colorful billboards and advertisements everywhere – this concrete jungle serves as a breeding ground for inspiration. 

I don’t live in the city, like Millman, but I do live near many trees, trails, and parks. God’s eye for creation is unmatched. Just breathing in the fresh air and taking in the scene all around helps me feel more creative and inspired. I often go on walks either early in the morning or later at night when the kids are in bed. This time alone also allows me to reflect on what’s going on in my world – presently and in my past. This technique might channel the most powerful source of inspiration of all: life. 

One of the kings of creation, Walt Disney, used his life as a spring board for inspiration and ideas for stories. Reflecting on his hard working blue collar childhood, Disney was inspired to write the classic film Cinderella. One time, he was pulled over by a police officer due to a trivial traffic violation. Instead of getting mad, he used that as inspiration for a Micky Mouse episode. 

Inspiration is around us everywhere. Tap into the beauty of nature and the scenes all around you. Get out of your “box.” Go outside. Move your body and go on a walk. Use nature to help you reflect on your life – which might be the greatest source of creation possible. 

6. Go write, get right

Medium: Quiet time alone

State Shifter: Writing

Many of my blog posts and content for my new book WERE NOT conceived until I started to write. There is a magical creative force that happens when you allow your mind to explore, document, and reflect on feelings through writing. 

Voltaire once said, “Writing is the painting of the voice. ” 

C.S. Lewis noted, “You can make anything by writing.”

E.L. Doctorow offered,  “Writing is an exploration. You start from nothing and learn as you go.”

My most creative place to write is not in front of a computer or laptop, but in the notes section in my phone. I also love to use Google Docs as a way to jot down thoughts and ideas throughout the day. One of the main themes of my new book coming soon is a unique daily journaling system – which I use everyday to prime my mind, body, and spirit. 

Journaling has been clinically proven to lower stress, depression, and anxiety. Keeping a journal has been shown to help gain control of one’s emotions and improve mental health. 

Give it a try. The most important words in the English language are write it down. Unlock your inner wisdom. Create a new masterpiece. Find a solution. Get your mind right, go to a quiet place and write. 

Is this my future TedTalk?

God needed 6 days to create the world. Try these 6 mediums and state shifters to generate inspiration, ideas, and creation of your own. 

Medium // State Shifter

1. Taking a nap // Sleep 

2. Going for a drive // Sound

3. Working out at the gym // Movement

4. Taking a long hot shower // Water

5. Going on a walk // Nature

6. Quiet time alone // Writing

Who knows, you just might make a masterpiece. 

Collin Henderson is the creator and founder of Project Rise.  Project Rise is a platform to uplift and inspire people to be the best version of themselves.

THE MASK OF MASCULINITY

Saying, “I love you” to another dude is for the soft and weak. 

This lie about love is one of the many Masks of Masculinity…and I used to agree. 

Being a coach’s son and the youngest of two boys, I grew up thinking that being a man (especially an athlete) was all about being tough. Real men don’t cry, we don’t show weakness, and the strongest are like Superman – made of steel and feel no pain. 

I used to never say the words “I love you” to anyone…especially not a teammate.  Even though my freshman roommate Matt Kegel (Havre, Montana’s finest) told me “I love you” most nights before we went to bed in our tiny little dorm room, I often times left him hanging.  My insecurities, immaturity, and lack of hearing that from another guy kind of rattled me.  Thus, I wouldn’t reciprocate.

Matt and I were different, but similar in a lot of ways.  He loved football, he loved life, and he loved people.  You can learn a lot from a free spirited Montana cowboy.

“That’s weird,” I remember thinking.

I was like many young misguided male athletes, caught up in holding up a macho image.  By not saying, “I love you” back, I was keeping in tact the mirage of my manhood.  Sometimes, I’d steal a line from the movie Ghost though and say, “Ditto.”  That was the best I could do.

I remember playing the University of Hawaii on the road my freshman year at WSU. It was our final game of a rough season and I was one of only 3 true freshman to start that season. One of the 3 was Seahawk legend and Pro Bowler, Marcus Trufaunt. Marcus had just made an interception to close out a tight game in front of a hostile crowd. 

At the Horseshoe vs. Ohio State

I remember being so pumped in the heat of battle that I hugged him and said, “I love you bro!” 

I totally acted out of character, but was caught up in the moment…I was playing with turf toe and bruised ribs that day. We had only 2 wins prior to that game and needed a momentum boost for the off-season.

It felt a little awkward saying it and even more awkward when he didn’t say it back. “I’m never doing that again,” I thought.

Saying “I love you,” is for girls and gays, not real men…that’s the old mask of masculinity in me talking.  This misogynistic and homophobic thought process is still unfortunately all too common in male team sports. 

It’s taken many years of study, self reflection, and learning from successful mentors to learn that love is everything – no matter one’s gender or orientation. 

Love gives purpose. Love feels pain. Love won’t stop. Love transcends. 

I often see young people (especially guys) who haven’t established their core values yet make immature remarks about love. Either they misuse it to gain an advance with women, or never use it at all – especially with men, friends, or teammates. Often times it’s not their fault. They’ve been modeled this behavior by prominent male figures in their life and even society (look who is leading our country). 

Masculinity is often times masked by ego, self interest, insecurity, and the narcissistic adage that image is everything. 

Gotta look cool. Gotta be hard. Gotta fit in. Gotta look tough. 

Many “tough guys” think showing vulnerability is showing weakness – especially in front of other males. Who can blame them? They’ve seen “real leaders” yell, demean, and put others down. These leaders don’t say “I love you,” they’re too busy being tough and focusing on kicking ass.

I argue the opposite. Being vulnerable is a sign of strength. You can have goals and grace. You can show love and hold people accountable. 

Coach Carroll showed you can “love” and hold players accountable.  Pete stuck with Hauschka through the season, but didn’t renew his contract for 2017.

Aside from ego-centric leadership, we are living in an epidemic of misplaced masculinity. Bullying seems to be at an all time high. Selfishness is everywhere. Entitlement is through the roof. Teams, schools, and organizations all have these types of people. I call them energy takers – taking positive energy away from others. The many social media platforms are a feeding ground for energy takers. 

There are many trolls out there that get some sort of enjoyment out of sucking energy from other people by posting disrespectful comments. These put-downs in my opinion often times come from a place of insecurity. Below is a comment from an energy taker – someone who takes away energy because they lack in something (self-esteem, confidence, happiness, or misguided leadership). This comment was in part directed at me.

Energy Taking at it’s finest.

Instead of being an energy taker, be an energy maker – someone who uplifts, supports, helps, and cares for others. The world could use more energy makers and less energy takers.

Energy takers come in all ages, shapes, and sizes. These individuals have no regard for others. Often times they don’t even realize how their selfish actions affect the larger group. They might claim to be all about “team,” but their ignorant comments, posts, and even body language show otherwise. They blame, complain, and shame. These actions might actually be a cry for help. 

Can you think of any energy takers in your family, team, school, or work?

I’ve had the pleasure of working with a local top ranked high school baseball team on mindset training, synergy, and culture this year. As they recently began the post season, I made a poster that I hoped would inspire unselfishness, sacrifice, and most importantly, love. This poster was the source of the energy taker’s comment I mentioned above.

I gave three examples to the team to anchor the message about the power of love. 

One of the stories I shared was how a woman in her 50’s had the strength to lift a car 4 inches off the ground to save her son who was stuck under a car. 

The point: The LOVE of another can give you super-human STRENGTH. 

The second example I shared was a video of Clemson’s head football coach Dabo Swinney’s post game interview after they upset Alabama in the final seconds of the National Championship game. 

A reporter asked, “How did you guys come-back and win?” 

He said, “We won because of love. Love has been my word all year. I told them, I don’t know how we are gonna do it, but if we love each other, we’ll win.” 

The point: LOVE for your team, coaches, and program gives you FAITH. 

2016 National Champion, Dabo Swinney, believes in the power of love.

The last example I shared was about Michael Jordan’s love of the game of basketball. As a rookie, he made sure his agent and the Chicago Bulls inserted a “For the Love of the Game Clause” in his contract. This clause meant he could play basketball in the off-season wherever and with whoever he wanted. Many teams put off-season regulations on their superstars, but Jordan wouldn’t have it.

One of the reasons why Michael Jordan is the greatest of all time, is because of his deep passion for the game of basketball. Similar to other greats like Tom Brady and Derek Jeter, they don’t play for money or for the accolades, but because of the love affair with their sport. 

The point: Talent alone won’t get you there, LOVE and PASSION are the pathway to greatness. 

The GOAT: Greatest of All Time

Trust me, I am all about winning. I’m all about getting after it and competing your ass off. I’m all about being a bulldog and hitting ’em in the mouth…all under the rules of play. However, I’m just trying to shift the common masculine paradigm on how you get there.

It really boils down to this point:

Relationships create Championships. 

Relationships with others (especially teammates) are the most impactful part of being an athlete – not just winning. Ask many athletes who are done playing and they’ll tell you, the biggest thing they miss about being a student-athlete or professional is the relationships and the time spent in the locker room and being with their teammates – not the actual game.

In the end, we CAN’T control the number of banners, titles, and championships we get. However, we CAN control the depth and meaning of our relationships – in athletics, work, school, and life. A loving relationship is the ultimate championship. 

If you love your teammates, your team, and the process more than the ring, I believe you’ll increase your likelihood of getting the ring… especially if everyone on your squad is on the same page.

Call me soft or Charmin, but that is the legacy I’m leaving…as a husband, father, leader, and coach….a legacy of love. A love for myself, others, and to pursuing one’s passion. 

When Troy Aikman won his first Super Bowl, he found himself in his hotel room crying his eyes out. He asked himself “Is this it?”  He got the “ship,” but he wasn’t satisfied…it wasn’t enough. People change your life, more then events do.

What is achievement if you have no one to share it with or if that is the only thing you play for? Also, if you judge your value as a person on wins and losses alone (as an athlete, salesman, coach, teacher, or whatever profession you were in), you are setting up yourself for constantly feeling unfulfilled – a trap I used to put myself in often. 

We can’t control specific outcomes. However, we can control our commitments. 

This was an exercise I did with the team I was working with. I first had them write down their goal for the postseason. Almost everyone wrote down they wanted to win a state title. I had them tear up their original goal. Some were a little confused, but I explained, “Every team in this playoff has that same goal – to win a championship.” 

I told them that we can’t control what happens at the end of this tournament. However, what we can control is our commitment to ourself and our team.

I gave them a new sheet of paper and had them write down their one commitment for the postseason. I had a few of the players share their commitment…it was very inspiring. Their focus shifted from all outcomes, to be more effort and attitude based goals. The entire team then wrote their one commitment on the team banner that read FAMILY: Forget About Me I Love You. 

Commitments are more powerful than goals.

This exercise I felt would help narrow their focus, lower their anxieties, and channel their concentration on what really matters. I challenged them to make this their only goal for the postseason: Focus on family, love, and their commitment.

I’m totally aware that this approach isn’t for everyone. It’s not the only way to win. But in my years of high-level competition in athletics and in the corporate world, LOVE is my vision and what I value most. LOVE is how I lead. 

My challenge to you is this: reevaluate your understanding of the word love. Reassess your commitments to yourself, others, and in pursuing your passion. 

Try to live life by this creed: Let love rule. 

Jesus taught us, “These three will last forever – faith hope and love – but the greatest of all is love (1 Cor 13:13).”

The Beetles sang, “All you need is love. Love is all you need.”

Dabo Swinney’s 2016 word of the year that guided Clemson to the National Championship was: Love.  

If it worked for Jesus, the Beatles, and Dabo, Love just might work for you and your team. 

When you unveil the mask of masculinity, and remove its insecure intentions, what you’ll find is every living creature – even men too – need love. And the best way I’ve learned over the years to receive love…is to give it.  Even if you don’t get the instant gratification of hearing, “I love you,” back.

For the record Matt…I LOVE YOU.

Collin Henderson is the creator and founder of Project Rise. Project Rise is a platform to uplift, inspire, and give individuals and teams the tools to be the best version of themselves. As a former Division-I two sport athlete and over ten years of experience as an award winning representative and trainer in medical sales, with two Fortune 500 companies, Collin offers strategies for peak performance in business, athletics, and academia. He is passionate about teaching the power of a healthy mindset, servant leadership, and the life changing affects of gratitude.

PROJECT RISE PODCAST EPISODE 4: CHRIS JOHNSTON

Listen to the podcast here.

Chris Johnston is the Senior VP at Community One Financial in Puyallup, WA.  He also is the creator and owner of Sparks Firehouse Deli, which is a hub for families and people in the greater Puyallup community.  Sparks Firehouse Deli is known for its fantastic food, awesome ambiance, and excellence service.  Chris is also part owner at Joeseppi’s Italian Restaurant in Tacoma as well as several other business ventures.

Because of Chris’ outstanding achievements, service and commitment to his community, he was honored with the 2016 University of Washington Milgard School of Business Small Business Leader Award.  From organizing parades honoring local athletic teams, to fundraising a new weight room for Puyallup High School, to coaching youth football, and running several successful businesses…Chris has a formula for winning and making a huge impact on others.  See the video honoring him below.

WHY YOU SHOULD LISTEN

Chris has acquired wealth in many areas of his life – not just business.  He has what I call the Trifecta:

1. He’s a loving husband and father
2. He is a thriving business owner and entrepreneur.
3. He is continually serving his community as a volunteer, coach, and philanthropist.

Chris, like many self-made successful individuals, came from a single parent home, with no money, and limited experience.  Faced with other adversities and set backs, he built a flourishing and fulfilling life through grit, effort, and a “refuse to lose” mantra.  Listen in…I know you’ll love and learn something from this game changer – I know I have and continue to do so.

What a stud!

My key takeway: GET OFF YOUR ASS!  Success doesn’t come to the lazy.  Take action!  What do you need to do right now to take the necessary steps to take your job, career, or dream to the next level?  You’ll only get there through consistent hard work, commitment, and drive. You got this!  Go for it, like Chris does.  Take that first step today and keep at it.

Listen to the podcast here.

If you like this episode, share it with a friend.  Below are links to a few of his businesses.  Go support Chris!

Community One Financial

Sparks Firehouse Deli

Joeseppi’s Italian Restaurant

This blog post and podcast was powered by KICKSTART KINGS, who help you and your business go further faster through better BRANDING, VISUAL CREATIVE, and WEB & SOCIAL STRATEGY.  Check them out here…they have  helped Project Rise take off!  Let them do the same for you!

THE GREATEST GOAL SETTER

One of my main goals is to be the best husband and father possible.

Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night, and had an image or idea flash inside your head like a neon light? Sometimes I do. I’ll get an idea, and my brain just won’t shut off. Inspired by Easter, this blog post is a creation of that occurrence. 

Despite your spirituality, faith, or even religion, there’s no denying one fact – a little over 2,000 years ago, a man named Jesus walked the earth. The record of Jesus of Nazareth has been documented by historians, scholars, and theologians alike. 

Regardless if you believe you are here because of an explosion in space, karma, God, Allah, Xenu (WTF? YouTube “Xenu South Park“…it’s amazing). Or maybe you believe in a different dogma all together. Either way, there’s one thing I BELIEVE we all can agree on – This man they called Jesus was one hell of a goal setter. 

That was my 2 AM epiphany. Jesus may have been the greatest goal setter of all time.

I mean, he set the bar HIGH! I’m talking Elon Musk SpaceX type ish. Being miraculously born from a virgin would probably increase anyone’s swag factor. However, believing to be the son of man, performing miracles, sharing the new gospel, dying for the sins of the world, then coming back to life, and ascending into heaven…Jesus’s goals made Elon Musk’s goals look itty-bitty teeny-tiny. 

The original JB (Jesus born in Bethlehem…not Bieber) dreamed BIG. I’m talking supersized, XXXL, jumbo, gigantic, ridiculously crazy off the wall big!

If Jesus had one thing (besides a dope beard and legit pair of sandals) it was vision. In order to have a clear vision, you must have what I call MVPs: mission, values, purpose, and slogan. Every successful organization has these clearly defined. Why don’t you?

Jesus’s MVPs would look something like this:

Mission – Save the world from sin. 

Values – Love all people. 

Purpose – Share the good news. 

Slogan – I am the truth, the way, the light. 

Jesus without question could define his MVPs. You could tell by how he acted, spoke, prayed, and what he said “yes” or “no” to. His MVPs drove his behavior to reach his vision. 

Have you taken the time to define your MVPs?

One of the pillars that Project Rise is built on is living a life driven by vision. When you have vision in your life, you have a clear set of goals. Goals create clarity, and clarity is power. Whoever has the most clarity always wins…whether it’s a debate, competition, or getting the sale…clarity just flat out gets things done.

How’s your clarity? 

Did Jesus have clarity on what his purpose and vision was? You bet your Peeps eatin’, mimosa sippin’, Easter pastel outfit wearing ass he did. 

No goal, no purpose. 

No goal, no direction. 

No goal, no life. 

No goal, no soul. 

I have the amazing privilege to have opportunities to speak to many audiences – especially to schools and young people about the power of goal setting. JohnNorlin is the Service Guy. Houston Kraft is the Love Guy. Collin Henderson is the Goals Guy. We all have a brand. If you don’t think you have a brand, it’s time to establish one (just don’t be That Guy…no one likes That Guy). 

But wait a sec, who am I kidding? I’m not on the same level right now as John or Houston…but the key word is yet. I’m not on their level YET (come on, where are my Growth Mindset people at?). The fact that I’m not there at this moment in time doesn’t bother me. Not one bit. Because I’m already there in my mind. It’s all ready done. It just hasn’t happened YET. I have a vision and a goal to RISE, just like Jesus. 

I believe with every ounce of my being that having clear goals can transform your life – the way they have mine. 

Goals have taken me from a stutterer to a speaker. 

A perfectionist to an activist. 

A worrier to a warrior…a warrior who feels the fear, but goes to battle anyway. 

Goals will get you out of bed; help you overcome hardships; generate momentum; inspire others; and push you to become your best self. 

My man Zig Ziglar once said, “Don’t be a wondering generality. Be a meaningful specific.” A life without a goal is not a life at all. 

Casey is a testimate of going all in on a dream.

Who modeled the power of goal setting better than the Jewish carpenter? No one. 

Below are 10 lessons in goal setting I’ve learned from the real Jahovah-Jireh, Jesus of Nazareth. Sorry Hova and Yeezus, there can only be One (I can’t wait for the Yeezy Fall Collection though). 

The 10 Commandments of Goal Setting – Modeled by Jesus. 

1. Your goals should scare you

I don’t think you need to take it as far as Jesus did….on the night before his crucifixion, where it says in the Bible that he was in such a state of distress that he was sweating blood (but when did Jesus go small?). If your goals don’t scare you at least a little…you need bigger goals. No guts, no glory. 

2. You’re gonna have haters

For some reason, many people don’t know what to do with different. If you feel your talents and aspirations are unique, pay these haters no mind. Just do you, just like Jesus did.

The Pharisees and the ancient high priests were the OG’s of haters. They were so jealous of what Jesus was doing, all the attention he was getting, the wisdom he had, and the blasphemy that he believed to be the son of God?! Jealously has been with man since the beginning…remember Cain and Abel? 

Listen, it’s sad but, many people aren’t comfortable with extraordinary. Many prefer the status quo…even some people who love you. If you are raising your standards and living with a vision that others can’t see, you’ll get criticized. Criticized because of jealousy, lack of faith, and quite honestly, fear they might lose you to bigger and better things. Sound selfish? Yes, but it’s true. 

I like to think that having haters is good. It means you’re doing something.

Sometimes your dreams might scare others. They’ll say, “You can’t do that,” or “You’ll fail.” Let them be scared and continue to live a life of lazy mediocrity, while you work your ass off, and not listen to the haters, but hold on to your dream and your process. If you stay true to you, your vision, and your goals…you’ll be well on your way to RISE above the fray.  

3. It’s going to be hard

Jesus had an unmatched work ethic. From walking from town to town spreading the gospel, to performing miracles daily, to addressing large crowds hours on end…your boy got after it! 

The amazing fact about having a clear goal that inspires you, moves you, and stirs your emotions – it will give you ENERGY! Even though it’s really hard work, you’ll be able to push through and not even notice the hours you put in. You’ll pay no mind to setbacks. You’ll be able to persevere through the pain. 

There’s no doubt that Jesus suffered to fulfill his destiny. Because he suffered an unimaginable death, his reward was to sit at the right hand of the throne next to his father in heaven. This is the most extreme example imaginable, but it reminds me this simple fact: the higher the level of achievement – the higher the level of hard work and sacrifices required. 

But the payoff will always be worth it. 

Does your goal drive you to work your ass off? If your answer is no, it might be time to reassess your vision and goals. 

4. Break some rules

One of Arnold Swartzenegger’s rules to success is this: Sometimes you’ve gotta break the rules. 

Jesus understood this principle. He followed his heart, vision, and values, and not to the old crusty Pharisee law. He knew what was right – he was fulfilling his mission.  He was staying true to his MVPs, which sometimes meant breaking the rules. Whether it was healing the sick on the sabbath or rewriting a new covenant – a salvation that is based on faith and not just deeds alone – Jesus stuck to his guns. 

We can learn from Jesus’s conviction. 

If old philosophies and out dated guidelines block your path – it’s time to blaze a new trail. The worst 6 words that stand in the way of innovation are, “That’s how we’ve always done it.” Learn from Jesus. Some rules are meant to be broken. 

5. You’ll need a crew

Life was made to be lived together. With that said, our alignment defines our assignment. We are a byproduct of the people we hang with the most. Jesus knew he couldn’t do it alone (hence his 12 disciples) – nor can you. Be open to delegate and seek out help. Just be selective on who you choose. Here’s one tip: If you’re the smartest person in the room, find a new room. 

There’s a cool phenomenon called the Koehler Effect, which as been scientifically proven to show that when people work in groups they perform at a higher level. Whether it’s a greater sense of accountability, or more energy, it’s just proven – teamwork makes the dream work. 

Who’s in your squad? 

Join a small group. Get a buddy to go with you to the gym. Align with a partner to start a new business. Nothing great was ever done alone. Develop a team, and watch your production RISE.

Squad goals achieved: the Hopper’s, Isaacson’s, and Martin’s. Love this crew so much!

6. Be well read 

Jesus knew his Bible. He did his homework and could recite all the scriptures. While traveling with his family as a twelve year old,  he was mistakenly left behind because he was studying in his God’s house – the church. 

Are you well read in your field of choice? Have you studied those who have came before you? 

The one thing that changed my life when I was going through struggles was investing in my personal development. I’ve made it a habit to read and listen to books incessantly. I hope you do the same. Eric Thomas, the Hip Hop Preacher often advises, “You are what you know.”

What are you reading, watching, and listening to? 

If your answers are: Facebook, Netflix, and Pandora…it’s time to find new material. 

7. Humble yourself

Jesus didn’t roll into town in a Bentley spinning on 22’s. He was riding a donkey. Humble yourself to focus on what’s important – substance, not flash. Do the grunt work. Start from the bottom. Push your ego aside. If a carpenter can be the savior of man, then you can ascend to unreal heights too. The only way you’ll stay there though, is with humility. Don’t judge your success on things, but in the people you impact and your personal growth. If those elements are your focus, the frankincense and myrrh will come. 

Jesus never looked to take credit for any of his miracles.  Often times after helping someone, he would tell them to “tell no one.”  How many times have you looked for praise for the simplest of accomplishments?  I am so guilty of that…seeking for praise, instead of seeking to raise someone up.

He who humbles himself, will be exalted. Today might be a good day to start to eat some humble pie. You’ll reach your goals faster if you do.

8. Be a servant 

Gandhi peacefully fasted. MLK marched. Mother Teresa fed the poor. Jesus washed feet. It didn’t matter if you were a tax collector, prostitute, Roman guard, or stricken with leprosy, Jesus loved and served all people. 

Achieving is serving. The more you serve, the farther you will go. To me, that’s the definition of greatness. Dave Ramsey once  said, “The only effective form of leadership is servant leadership.” 

While you are striving to achieve your goal, just remember this: The more people you serve, the more abundance and success you’ll create. 

Who served others more than Jesus?

9. It’s never too late

Jesus didn’t perform one miracle, make any ripple in history, or begin his ministry until he was in his early 30’s. 

It’s never too late to get on the goal train and achieve greatness. Look at John Wooden and Warren Buffet. Goals don’t have an age requirement…just a passion qualifier. It doesn’t matter if you’re 9 or 90 for the conductor to click your ticket. Just like Jesus, the goal train accepts all passengers. No matter your age, failures, disappointments, background, or history – everyone is welcome – similar to God’s kingdom.

What debilitating story have you been telling yourself? What excuses have you been making that have created a failure to launch? 

It’s time to start a new thought pattern, and a new plan to finally go after your dream. It’s never too late.

10. YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE

Jesus was willing to die for what he believed in…are you? Are you willing to lay it on the line and sacrifice everything you have because your faith and belief is so intense that nothing will stop you? Belief was one of Jesus’s strongest super powers. By faith, not in acts alone will you RISE. 

A goal without belief is like a car without gas. It won’t go anywhere. Choose faith. Believe in the unseen. Trust your process. Do whatever it takes to get there. If you do, you will be handsomely rewarded…just like the Jewish carpenter from Nazareth. 

Sometimes you gotta just GO FOR IT!

He has RISEN

I hope this post gives you an epiphany like I had the other night – an epiphany of clarity and inspiration. In order to RISE and be your best self, it starts with a goal. I hope your goal is so crazy and exciting that it keeps you up at night.  If you have a passionate goal, there’s no doubt you will. 

The central theme of Easter is rebirth and resurrection. If you are not where you want to be, that is OK. Get rid of your old ways. Cease your limiting thoughts. Create a goal and begin a rebirth of the new you.

Here’s a simple exercise to get you started. Pull out a sheet of paper and pen (or use the Notes app in your phone) and create your MVPs. This exercise will give you the framework for your vision – to help you achieve your goals. 

Mission – What do you want to accomplish?

Values – What are the standards and guiding principles that will drive your behavior?

Purpose – What is the reason and “why” behind your goal?

Slogan – Create a slogan or mantra that sums up in a few words what you’re all about and sparks action. Tell this slogan to the world! Put it on your Instagram and Facebook page.

Let Jesus be the model of how to live and love. If you do, who knows, with GRACE, GRIT, and most importantly a GOAL, you can create your best self…and a version of heaven on earth. 

If you like this post or you know somebody that could use this framework, The 10 Commandments of Goal Setting – Modeled by Jesus, please share it!

HAPPY EASTER TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. 

WHAT DO WOMEN WANT?

Sometimes when I write, it’s a byproduct of being inspired, wanting to get clarity on a topic, or exploring my own theory in a specific area. With that said, I’m about to embark on a voyage that deals with an enigma similar to the Bermuda Triangle, the Egyptian Pyramids, Stonehenge, and figuring out what the hell happened to Richard Simmons.

This topic has been a mystery that man has tried to understand since the beginning of time: 

What Do Women Want?

No man is as fortunate as Mel Gibson’s character in the 2000 film What Women Want– by being able to hear the inner most thoughts of women…and dogs, “Monsieur, Monsieur, I need to poop!” Without this mind reading ability, men are tasked to know their woman’s needs and deliver on their desires. 

The only advice my dad gave me on the topic of women was, “Find a girl who can afford you. It’s a lot easier to fall in love on the beaches of Hawaii.” He obviously was joking…or was he? Then in his Ph.D. wisdom, J. Hen would follow that with his real offering, “Find a girl who is smart.” 

My response to him now is, “Ok dad, I’ve done that; so now what?” The most attractive quality that drew me to Kendra was her brain (oh and she’s 5’9, gorgeous, has a funny wit, is an amazing cook, and loves football…winning!)

She is definitely out of my league. (shout out to B. Hop!)

Aside from finding my soul mate, I’ve been blessed with amazing mentors in my life who have modeled the proper way to treat women and how to have a flourishing marriage. Young people do what you do, not what you say. I’m thinking about my son Baylor, and my goal is to model to him that the only way to have an effective relationship is to serve your partner. 

Let me premise that I am not perfect in this area, but like most males, I’m a work in progress. I’ve been labeled by a few people as selfish, “the King,” and being all about me. My job requires me to travel quite a bit; I’m very active juggling multiple passions outside of work (can you say Rise?); I don’t have many man skills (thank God for our neighbor Jeff); so sue me, I married Wonder Woman. Kendra seems to have super powers in many areas – her weapon of choice is either the power drill or her trusty breast pump – depends on the day. 

This is how I see my bride.

What’s awesome is that people are entitled to their opinion. They don’t have to agree 100% on my (or your) relationship dynamics. The most important factor is that you and your partner communicate frequently and have established clear expectations – and you both deliver on those. I feel that this is were Kendra and I have excelled – communicating on what our needs are and doing our best to make those happen. 

Things are not always going to work out perfectly or as planned. Being able to say “I’m sorry,” owning your mistakes, and sincerely make the necessary adjustments to correct the behavior or issue is what effective teamwork is all about.  I think I’m winning on the “sorry” scoreboard.  Wow, grace is powerful in a team setting. 

As with any team in sports, business, or life, it’s all about playing to your strengths. I feel we do a great job at this. For example, when we got married, Kendra assembled our new barbecue, while I wrote our thank you letters for all of our wedding gifts. 6+3=9. So does 7+2, 5+4, and so on. There’s not one way to have an effective marriage. Know and playoff each other’s strengths. Your production and happiness will be elevated.  

A few years ago, we read the book The Five Love Languages (which I totally recommend) and we do our best to make sure those needs are met consistently. My top two are: 1) physical touch, and 2) acts of service. While Kendra’s are 1) quality time, and 2) Starbucks or Chipotle (really, the author added those in the latest addition). 

Aside from mastering each other’s love languages, another tool to use is the framework I call A.L.A.: ask, listen, and act on what what makes your significant other happy. Why does it need to be more complicated then that? 

Step 1: Communicate and ASK what makes her happy and how you can help. The first response might not tell the whole story. Be ready to dig deep and peel back the onion (women have layers…just like ogres, ogres have layers too…pardon my Shrek reference). The more details and specifics you can obtain the better.

Step 2: This might be a new concept for some of you guys out there (after 6 years of marriage I’m still working on it), but truly LISTEN to what she is saying. Seek to understand. Don’t just nod your head and envision what meat you’re going to BBQ next. Make a mental note, store it, then proceed to Step 3. 

Step 3: Based on her needs, take ACTION. This could be the most important step. Why? Because taking action takes effort. But not just mindless effort (how many times have you half-assed made the bed or picked up after yourself). Intentional action that follows a strategy is where magic happens. Effectiveness is all about execution. If you execute on her needs, I can give you 50 reasons how this will benefit her and YOU (trust me, there will be no shades of gray). 

Do this ALA process:

0 times per year = F results. 

1 time per year =  D results. 

1 time per quarter =  C results. 

1 time per month = B results

1 time per week = A results

1 time per day = A+++ results 

The reason why a high number of relationships get stale and fail is because there is no energy and effort. Imagine if you put the same type of energy, passion, and attention to each other as you did in the beginning of the relationship! Love doesn’t sit on its ass and binge on Netflix all day (unless it’s New Girl – watched together of course). Love is a Verb…just ask John Mayer. Love Does…just ask Bob Goff. 

Average in = average out. Awesome in = awesome out. What’s more important then you and your partner’s relationship? Besides putting The Man Upstairs at the center of our life and marriage, Kendra and my relationship is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN MY LIFE! 

We feel the best gift we can give to our children is putting our marriage first, and them second. Many couples married with children have it backwards…and their marriage takes a back seat. Hmm, I wonder why divorce rates are so high for new empty nesters?

Below are what I call Kendra’s Keys. If I can deliver on these, I’m winning, she’s winning, our marriage, and family are winning. 

1. C.S.S. – Certainty, Security, and Safety

Similar to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, I’ve learned that everything starts here. 

Certainty: Being the man of the house, I feel a sense of responsibility to operate and function in a consistent manner, provide stability, and create vision for our family. 

Security: It’s my duty to provide for us through generating short and long term financial security. 

Safety: A must is to make Kendra feel that she and our children are safe. This dictates the car we drive, how we handle certain public situations, and the fact that I make sure the doors are locked each night before we go to bed (this took me a few years to embed in my psyche). 

2. Be Present

Being a Zombie is not a good look. Zombies don’t make good husbands or fathers. Amber Alert: PUT THE CELL PHONE AWAY. I try to institute the 6 to 9 rule – my phone stays in my room plugged in from 6 to 9pm when I get home from work. Don’t be a Cell Phone Zombie, put the cell phone away (this is one area I need A LOT of work on). While your phone is charging locked up in a safe, play the Rose/Thorn game. Each of you share something that you loved about the day (rose) and something that could have been better (thorn). This is an easy, simple, and effective way to communicate and have a little bonding time. 

3. Deliver On Her Love Languages 

We are very intentional to carve out time and connect during that sweet spot when the kids go down to bed and before we go to bed. This is always much valued QT. Also, I make it a point to bring her Starbucks, flowers, or her favorite…Chewy Sprees candy when I can. About 75% of the time when I come home from the gym, I come packing heat – a toasted Chonga bagel with an iced coffee.  This always is a crowd pleaser.  

4. Connect Emotionally and Physically

Most women are crock pots, not microwaves…this includes Kendra. If I want a connection downstairs, I better connect upstairs first (Hint: this doesn’t start at 9pm, but 9am). Compliments are free. Acts of service are free, but the payoffs are priceless. Also, every physical touch doesn’t need to lead to something else. Put some money in the bank, rub her feet and expect nothing to happen. You will earn some bonus points, which you can cash in later – Yahtzee!

5. Love Our Children

Serving our children is serving Kendra. Being the best daddy is deeply appreciated and sexy as hell…ask any woman. When I get home, I love to give Kendra a break from Earth, Wind, and Fire (Baylor, Bella, and Winnie) with some dada time. They love it. I love it. And after being a physical and emotional punching bag for the previous 10 hours, Kendra loves it the most. 

6. When I’m Fulfilled, She’s Fulfilled

I need to make sure that I’m doing the things that fill me up – exercising, doing my best at work, following my passions. Kendra is so amazing, that she understands the importance of allowing me to be who I am. When that process takes place I have more to give and everyone wins.

7. Date Consistently 

Make the words “Date Night” a staple in your relationship’s vocabulary. Don’t let your love fern die…water it, nurture it, and give it light…by regularly scheduling a night out on the town WITHOUT YOUR KIDS! Do I even need to justify why this is important? 

For some low cost date night ideas…click here

I am fully aware that this list is not the end all be all. If you have your own way of investing in your marriage that works, then great! The most important key to this whole What Women Want thing is to DECIDE and COMMIT 100% to your relationship. Love is a choice that needs ACTIONS to fan the flame…not with intentions or “should do’s.”  When I take care of Kendra’s needs…she more then takes care of me!  The Bible says you reap what you sow…this is so true in relationships. Take care of your woman where she needs it the most, and you will be the wealthiest man on the planet in the area that matters most – LOVE. 

Since there are 7 Keys to my list above, take the Kendra’s Keys Challenge. Discuss and implement one of the 7 keys each day of the week with your spouse…start today! 

For all my fellas out there, I hope Kendra’s Keys help you unlock your inner Prince Charming. Who knows, you just might awaken your Sleeping Beauty and discover not just what WOMEN want, but what YOUR WOMAN WANTS. 

And if you execute on this quest, you’ll create a happy ending in more ways then one.

HOW MOANA MADE ME CRY

Over the past month I’ve watched the Disney movie Moana at least 5 times. If you have younger children like we do, you most likely have seen it and can probably recite the songs in the film like a JT record.

All Baylor and Bella want to do is watch the “Big Guy”…Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson’s character, Maui…which he crushes btw…and the brave heroine, Moana.

She’s next level.

Even our one year old Winnie is getting into the action. I got home the other day from a work trip, and all she could say to me was, “Muah, Muah.” I was like, “Kendra, what is she saying?” She replied, “Moana!”

Huh, should have known. Gotta love baby gibberish.

There’s a reason Disney owns everything from the Marvel Universe to ESPN. They are frickin’ smart and have mastered the art of storytelling. They have gotten so good over the years, and the plots have even struck cords with adults as much as kids.

Disney has a proven plot system. Here’s my breakdown:

1. Scene and characters are established (old normal)

2. A challenge arises

3. A nurturing character close to the protagonist dies or is faced with a dangerous threat

4. The naive hero (protagonist) goes on a journey

5. The protagonist is mentored

6. The protagonist fails and contemplates quitting

7. The protagonist faces his/her fear and transforms into a real hero

8. With a new found courage and skill, the protagonist saves the day.

9. A new normal and happy world is created

Disney’s Empire is endless.

I’ve loved many Disney films, but this Moana story stirred my spirit and emotions more than any drama or action film of recent memory (nothing creates water works like Cuba Gooding, Jr’s movie Radio though). The symbolisms in Moana, her journey, failure, triumph, and message of redemption are timeless. There’s a plot twist in the end and a climactic scene that had me balling my eyes out…I mean grown man ugly cry. I had to hide my face so my kids didn’t think something was wrong with me.

There were many takeaways from this gem that made me laugh, think, and cry. Below are elements of the movie that paralleled with real life – and even had a biblical influence. Take a look at this list and reflect how it relates to your life.

Under qualified

The chosen one, Moana, lacked experience, was under qualified, was too young, and an unlikely choice to save her people.

How many characters in the Bible were an unlikely choice from God? Moses stuttered. David was an adulterer. Paul killed Christians.

You might think you are under qualified, but trust that no one is ever 100% ready and are completely qualified. Know that you are chosen. You are worthy. There is no such thing as perfect. It’s about the journey and growth along the way. Stop thinking that you don’t have what it takes. The people who shaped the world where flawed just like you and me. The only difference is they took action! It’s time for you to stop thinking you don’t have what it takes, because you do!  Take ACTION!

Courage

Despite going against her father’s will, Moana left her island and faced many dangerous situations to save her people.

David faced Goliath. Noah survived the storm. Daniel was saved from the lion’s den.

You will never reach your potential or achieve anything of significance unless you face your fear. Warriors feel the fear, but go to battle anyway. This is where growth happens. What fear have you been avoiding that you need to attack?

Mentorship

Moana knew very little about sailing or the world beyond her island. However, she had a connection with the ocean and the dream of exploring. This dream was encouraged and nurtured by her grandmother. While on her journey, Moana, who was a novice sailor, learned to be a master of the seas. She learned this skill from the other main character in the film, Maui. Because of Moana and Maui’s teamwork, they saved the day. This feet would not have been possible without each other. Maui learned a great deal from his mentee, Moana, as well (humility, courage, resourcefulness).

Mentorship has been a critical part of achieving greatest throughout history. Moses mentored Aaron. Eli mentored Samuel. Jesus mentored his disciples.

What is your dream? Who can you seek out to help you achieve it? You are not alone. We all can benefit from having at least one source that is full of encouragement and knowledge. Focus on learning from those people instead of the naysayers, critics, and doubters – which, if you are seeking to do something great – you will have plenty of those types of people.

Think of one person who believes in you. Channel their energy and encouragement. Also, who has what you want? Ask them to be your mentor. This relationship will be life changing.

You should always have a mentor and a mentee.

“This does not define you” 

Moana and Maui had several major setbacks and failures throughout the process. Both even felt so defeated that they lost hope and even quit. Yet, something inside of their spirit lifted them out of a state of despair to keep fighting and fulfill their destiny.

God never makes it easy. Whether the Jews exodus from Egypt, to Abraham and Sarah waiting until late in life to have children, and even Jesus’s death and resurrection (there are many more examples)…the people who fall and get back up and face the fire are rewarded.

The most powerful scene in the film felt like a scene straight from the Bible. There is a clever twist at the end when Moana reaches the end of her journey to restore the heart of Te Fiti. While facing the lava monster (that’s what my kids call it), Moana realizes that the monster is not really evil.

The ocean parts, she calls to her, and sings a message that has so much biblical relevance that it had me balling. I saw God in the form of a 16 year old girl speaking to me, people who are lost, hurt, afraid, living in guilt and shame, and who have lost sight of their true self. This is what she sang:

I have crossed the horizon to find you

I know your name

They have stolen the heart from inside you

But this does not define you

This is not who you are

You know who you are
…who you truly are.

God has been on an endless search to reach you.

He loves you, and knows you by name.

He may have challenged you with hardships that have broken you.

You may have lost your way and have been on a path of self destruction.

BUT THIS DOES NOT DEFINE YOU.

God adores you and sees the hero inside of you.

He knows who you are. You know who you are. Let that person come back to life and grow to something even greater.

This song could also be sung from a parent to a child; a child to a parent; a friend to a friend; or you to yourself.

Sheesh, I’m tearing up right now just as I write this. Please watch the scene below and reflect on your life. Forgive yourself and start living in color, not darkness. If you are in a healthy place, how can you be a light for others?

In summary:

• Even though you are under qualified, you are ready.

• Nothing of significance happens without courage.

• You are not alone. Seek out mentors, while you mentor others.

• Your failure does not define you. How you respond does.

• In order to be great, you must love yourself first.

Forgive yourself.  Mend a relationship.  Forgive someone else.

Begin a new adventure.

Start an adventurous journey today and become your best self…just like Moana.

THE 8 M’S OF MAKING MONEY

Alright.  I told you people that I was going to get crazy with this whole studying of selling shit (I tried a few other words, but they just didn’t have the same ring to it).  Based on your feedback from my last post (a big THANKS to all of you who sent in your favorite selling books), the top requested sales book was The Little Red Book of Selling, by Jeffrey Gitomer.  I read it, really liked it, and have already used some of the tactics I learned – like focusing on profit over price with a customer.

Many of you may be into self-help, motivational books, and auto-biographies (those are my favorites).  However, this is selling season – time for expensive things for no reason (ha shout out to my boy Hova).  We all are selling ourselves, we are always interviewing whether we know it or not, and our ability to influence dictates many things in our life…including how much money we make.

Let me preface that life isn’t all about things, new whips (not 50 Shades, but “cars” for you laymans), baller cribs, or how many digits are in your bank account.  Connection, impact, relationships, memories, and how many people we help is the essence of life.  However, what if you can positively impact all those areas, but make lots of money while doing it?  To me, more money doesn’t mean ‘mo problems (we miss you Big!), but that I get to help more people.  I get to bless more in need.  I am able to create more freedom for myself and my family.

Utilize this list and make it rain with Lil’ Wayne and this guy

So here is how you do it.  I call this the 8 M’s of Making Money.  This system was largely inspired by 3 books I read by Grant Cardone, sprinkled with my other readings, and life experiences.  This is less about investing and more about a framework to take your passion to the next level.  For wealth management and investing tips, read Money: Master the Game, by Tony Robbins.  It’s a game changer (one word: FIDUCIARY).  He also has a new money book out as well called Unshakable.  HINT: the bubble is about to burst; he’ll help you be ready.  Enough about Tony and his big hands and wallet. 

These money making concepts can by applied to two groups: 

1. If you are a sales representative who is looking to take your sales results to the next level, or
2. If you are an entrepreneur that could benefit from added clarity by utilizing a systematic approach to growing your business.

So here goes; here are the 8 M’s of Making Money (I picked the number 8 because its the same symbol as infinity…just like the never ending streams of income that is on your horizon if you follow this framework).  

If you are serious about improving your sales or taking your business to the next level, stop what you are doing, and take out a notebook or a few sheets of paper right now.  

Based off of each section, I have listed several questions that you need to answer…if you do and execute on those questions…there is no doubt you will create more wealth for yourself. 

I’m going to warn you though…this is a ROBUST post…but WELL WORTH IT!  Pace yourself, but stick to it and finish it all the way through and you’ll be well on your way to MAKING IT RAIN…

Since I will never make it rain in the club, I’m thinking of other venues that are under utilized to throwing up Benji’s or maybe Hamilton’s are your thing: at the gym, the grocery store, nail salon, getting take-out teriyaki, the movie theater…the options are endless!

1. MINDSET

This is a slam dunk, no brainer.  In order to dominate your sector, you MUST have an insane amount of belief in yourself and your product/service.  You can’t fake passion, enthusiasm, and an all-in attitude.  Prospecting, handling objections, and closing become a whole lot easier when you have a winning attitude and unwavering belief in yourself and what you’re selling.  You must DECIDE, that you will do whatever it takes to make the sale, and that you have the ability to do it. Prospects can smell what I call CP’s: confidence pheromones.  Like bees, customers can smell fear and BS.  If you are timid and unsure…say this with me in a Brooklyn accent, “Forget about it!”  If your hair isn’t on fire in excitement for what you are selling…why should theirs be on fire to buy?  

Pit Bull, Walt Disney, Gary Vaynerchuk, Bill Gates, Tony Robbins, and Richard Branson all had an insane amount of self-belief in themselves and what they offer, which helped them overcome setbacks and create a road map to achieve their dreams. 

8M Questions to consider:

• Do you use or would you use your product/service if the situation called for it?  What about your loved ones?  If the answer is no…find something new to sell.
• Do you believe in your abilities to effectively sell this product?  If not, get some coaching, do some more studying, and practice your craft.
• Do you love this industry, customer base, and process of the selling.  If you don’t love it – get out and align yourself with something you believe in!

Project Rise Application:

I believe without a shadow of a doubt that what I’m doing with Project Rise is bringing value to others.  I am so convinced and believe so strongly in the principles I teach, because I have seen them work in my life.  I receive an abundance of energy and fulfillment when I help others be their best self. 

2. MISSION

In any military mission, there is something called: Commander’s Intent.  Commanders Intent succinctly describes what constitutes success for the operation.  It includes the operation’s purpose and the conditions that define the end state.  When things get crazy (oh and they will), having a clear goal and vision (or Commanders Intent) will keep you on track.  Partnered with Commanders Intent, is this one question, “What are you willing to sacrifice?”  This boils down to your values.  This set of values will help you make the tough decisions.

8M Questions to consider:

• Clearly and succinctly define what you want to achieve (Your Commanders Intent).
• What does success look like to you?  Think about starting with the end in mind first.
• What is your offering?  Do your customers 100% understand what you offer and the value associated with the product or service?
• What is your story?  Story telling is the most effective way to grow support, investors, and buyers.  If done effectively, story telling creates emotion and feelings.  The wealthiest are the best storytellers. 
• Make a list of your core values that will drive your actions (what to say “yes” or “no” to) and will help you determine what to fight for.

Project Rise Application:

Success for me would look like this:

• Be able to monetize Project Rise as our sole source of income
• Witness positive transformation and improved results in individuals and teams from directly working with me
• Be a best-selling author
• Be a sought after speaker on mental performance
• Positively impact in some way 20 million people by 2020 (go ahead and laugh at me…I don’t care!)
• My values are B.U.I.L.D.: Believe. Unselfish. Integrity. Learn. Discipline.

3. MOTIVATION

Motives matter.  Having a clear “Why” and reasons for achieving your vision is everything – not only for you (internal motivation), but your customer as well (external motivation).  If money is your only internal motivator, you will not sustain the drive necessary to keep going.  Also, if your motivation is not powerful enough, you will have a hard time overcoming hardships and setbacks.  

In terms of external motivation, ask Simon Sinek…people buy WHY you do what you do, not what or how you do it.  If people external from you and your organization do not connect with your “why,” they won’t buy what you are selling.

I often use the TOMS shoe company as an example here.  Their “one for one” motto has helped them impact thousands of lives by providing free shoes to kids in need.  This “why” has also helped them sell millions of shoes – which is a double win!

8M Questions to consider:

• Why are you doing this?
• Can you list the reason(s) behind your mission?
• What is your “Why” story?…write it down and practice saying it.
• Can you clearly articulate what motivates you to potential customers and investors?

Project Rise Application:

My reasons behind Project Rise are… 

• I struggled with insecurities and negative self talk for most of my life, which held me back from being my best self.
• Through my decent and RISE, I want to help others RISE with me.  I desire to be a lifelong student of mastering one’s mindset.
• Finally, I will generate enough income to support my family comfortably, which will allow Kendra to focus 100% on being a mom and CEO of the house.

4. MEANS

Identifying WHO has the means to make the decision and purchase your product is as D. Trump would say, “HUUUUUUGE.”  The more niche you can be the better.  Remember this saying, “Scratch an itch. Find a niche, and you’ll be rich.” (you can add “bitch” in there at the end to get a laugh)

8M Questions to consider:

• Who is your target audience?  
• Who has the means to buy what you are selling?
• Who are the decision makers?
• How can you get in front of them more?
• WHO HAS YOUR MONEY?

There’s money out there waiting to be used on what you have to offer.  You just need to identify with crystal clarity who that group and specific set of people are (or person).

Project Rise Application:

My customer base includes:

• Businesses looking to improve mindset, sales, and culture
  • Mangers, VP, and directors of sales have the money
• Athletes and athletic teams 
  • Parents have the money
  • AD’s, coaches, and booster clubs have the money
• Scholastic settings (schools and universities)
  • Principles, department heads, and district office folks have the money
  • Clubs, groups, and associations have the money (especially for conferences)

The next step would be to get them on board with the value and benefits of your offering…not price.  Objections are never on the price, but the perceived lack of value…we’ll get to more on that in METHODS.

5. MATH

Have you ran the numbers?  Generating the wealth you need is a simple equation that can be preemptively set up.  Based on your mission and goals, look at these questions…

8M Questions to consider: 

• How much money do you WANT to make each month and year?
• How much do you NEED to bring in to keep the lights on, cover expenses, and support yourself, family, and staff (if you have any)?
• Based on this, how many sales do you need to make?  For example, If I want to make $100,000 in six months, I’d need to sell $100 worth of product to 1,000 people…or $50 to 2,000 people…or $200 to 500 people.  This approach simplifies and makes the process less overwhelming and gives you a measurable goal that you can track.  
• How much money will you need to invest in the growth of your company to get started or to take it to the next level (new website, consulting, expanding, advertising, more sales, etc.)?

Project Rise Application:

I’m currently working on this as we speak.  I recently took some money out of savings to invest in:

• Costs to launch my brand and updated offerings on a higher level – including a new website and video content
• I recently finished the content of my first book (can’t wait to tell you more about it!), and I’ve budgeted funds to support it’s completion and launch
• I have a specific number in mind in how much I need to bring in. 

6. METHODS

Ideas are good, but actions are better.  This section is all about creating a plan to identify what the most important actions are needed to achieve your goal.  Methods also have to do with the most important word in sales: VALUE.  What are your methods to bring value?  In the many crowded markets that we operate in, how will you differentiate yourself and your product?  Developing a daily, weekly, and monthly process is the most effective way to perform at your best.  This single step is why I have had the success I’ve had in my medical device sales role (Rookie of the Year, back to back Top Performer Award, #1 in product orders in the nation last year).  Your PROCESS is everything.  #trusttheprocess.  To get there, answer these questions…

8M Questions to consider:

• What actions must I complete to take me closer to my goal?
• When will I achieve them?
• How often will I perform key tasks per day, week, or month?
• What is my value proposition?
• How am I, my product, and/or service different vs. the competition?
• What are my strengths?  How can I play to them more?

If you can master these 3 concepts, I guarantee you will out pace and out value your competition.  Own these 3 areas:

1. Anticipation – Anticipate the needs of the customer and market first.
2. Innovation – Don’t follow the heard, offer a new or different solution to the customer that solves a problem.  If you go the same direction as everyone else, it will be harder to get noticed.  Be different! When you can identify that need and pain point, and where there is a gap in the market…that is where you strike!  Formulate your offering in this space.
3. Domination – For the buyer, competition is good, but it’s not for you.  Don’t compete in your space, own and DOMINATE your space.  This will only happen with sacrifice, strategic thinking, and precision and execution. 

No one anticipated, innovated, and dominated better than Steve Jobs and Apple when he took over in 1997.  Jobs helped spawn the iMac, iPod, iTunes, Apple Store, iPhone, and iPad. By the time he was done…Apple didn’t have competition!!!  He changed the game forever (1 billion devices used world wide – Jobs got the job done).

Project Rise Application:

This one is a beast.  Here is just a small sample…My methods include:

• Offer a consistent brand of excellence that brings value through:
  • Uplifting posts on social media
  • One podcast a week
  • One video a week
  • Secure 3 speaking gigs a month
• Be authentic and vulnerable
• Be the best storyteller in the business
• Add humor and humility
• Give actionable tools and resources with every encounter (either one one one, with a group, or through my blogs, videos, or podcasts).

7. MOMENTUM

It’s a marathon, not a sprint.  A HUGE goal can sometimes feel overwhelming.  Often times the hardest step is the first one.  Break down your action plan in mini-seasons and preemptively set milestones that you are looking to achieve.  When you hit these milestones…CELEBRATE!  The grind is real.  Reward yourself by setting multiple action goals along the way that build over time.  This will help you build confidence and not be overwhelmed by the process. 

My senior year in football at WSU, we won the Pac-10 Championship by breaking down our season in several mini seasons: 1. Beat Idaho, 2. Win our non-coference games.  3.  Go undefeated at home.  4. Finish strong in November.  5. Be Pac-10 Champs and go to the Rose Bowl (which we did!).  How can you apply this concept in your business?

8M Questions to consider:

• What is the most important first step for you to take to dominate?
• How can you break down your vision into multiple seasons or sections…with each one getting more challenging than the previous?
• Can you list several key milestones?
• How will you reward yourself AND hold yourself accountable for achieving these milestones?

Project Rise Application:

My milestone points that will build momentum:

• Launch website
• Finish book and get published
• Secure multiple streams of income through:
  • Individual coaching
  • Speaking endevours
  • Book sales
• The ultimate milestone: Host a RISE Party book launch that is a mix between an educational seminar and a dance party…holla!!!!

8. MODELING

Any industry, skill, trade, or technique you want to learn has already been mastered and someone has written a book about it.  Go to a Barnes & Noble store (if they even exist where you live) or go on Amazon or iTunes and buy or download some books.  There are at least 10 + books in the field you are working in.  Study and master those concepts.  Discover who the best in your company is and build a relationship with them.  If you run your own business, research through your network to find individuals who are more seasoned or on a higher level than you.  Ask these people if the would mentor you (think about how you can bring them value as well).  Join a Master Mind small group and learn from other leaders in your field.  

YOU DON’T NEED TO REINVENT THE WHEEL!

You’ll learn more in 4 weeks with an expert in your field versus going to 4 years of college.  Success leaves clues.  In order to innovate, you need to master what already has been offered first.  Somebody has already paved the way for you.  This technique is called “drafting.”  Just like in bike and car racing – you’re following an established leader.  Follow the path modeled by someone who has been extremely successful and is winning.  Wisdom is created in one of two ways: 1. By experience, or 2. By learning from others who have already done it.  Based on my “drafting” analogy, which one is the most efficient, requires less failures, and will save you energy?…I hope you said, “learning from others.”  Below are options to learn from others who have paved the way.  These mentors can be found in many difference forms.  

8M Questions to consider:

What people or topics will you research or connect with in these 7 areas?  I call this VAP2ERS Modeling.

Mentorship is such an underrated tool for success.  Get your mentors lined up now and watch how much faster you’ll reach your financial goals!!! I’m so passionate about this topic, I could write a whole other blog post on this!

Project Rise Application:

I’ll use my VAP2ERS Model to share who my mentors are…

• I watch a TON of YouTube VIDEOS on:
  • Tony Robbins
  • Gary V.
  • Simon Sinek

• AUDIOBOOKS…There is not enough room on this page.  Audiobooks are my favorite way to learn because I drive so much.  The last few audiobooks I listened to where:
  • The Little Red Book of Selling
  • Grit
  • How to Build Self Discipline for Entrepreneurs 

• PAPERBACKS…I prefer audio over written, but I do usually have a book nearby to read at night, or on a flight.  Here are the last two I’ve read:
  • The Circle Maker
  • Good to Great
• My Favorite PODCASTS are:
  • School of Greatness, Lewis Howes (without any doubt my number 1 source of inspiration)
  • The Tim Ferriss Show

• ELECTRONICS…let’s face it, we all have a smartphone and/or tablet.  Use them for something productive instead of Snap, Insta, Twitter, and FB.  I recently downloaded on my iPad and read:
  • Sell or Be Sold, Grant Cardone
  • I use Wikepedia constantly
  • I Google stuff non stop
  • Remember to use YouTube as a platform to learn…not just watch cat videos

• REAL PERSON…
  • My work mentor this year is a 5-time Manager of the year in my company and an amazing guy: Rick Schulz.  We talk on the phone at least once a month about leadership, vision, balance, and execution.
  • I’m doing Life Coaching with an entrepreneur and business owner named Sean McCormick. He owns Float Seattle…if you want a relaxing experience for your mind, body, and soul…you got to check it out!

• SMALL GROUP…Meeting once a month with several like minded individuals that challenge you and hold you accountable is such a life changing advantage.  I’ve been meeting with two small groups this past year.  Even though I am out of town for our meeting tomorrow…my guys are Skyping me on by boy B. Hopp’s big screen in his office at 6:15am…now that is dedication! (shout out to the Power Tribe: Mike Isaacson, Charly Martin, and Brian Hopper).  Love you guys and I learn so much from you!

 Is this list perfect and the end all be all?  No, but’s a great place to start.  

I have the desire and patience to see this list through.  Do you?  We all have to start somewhere.  Take an hour…go to a Starbucks.  Brainstorm ideas with a Master Mind group of people who inspire you.  Just stop thinking, daydreaming, and wishing…START DOING!

Use the 8 M’s of Making Money as your template to create the road map of success.  Big time results will not just magically happen.  You have to put thought, effort, and energy into creating your mindset and plan.  Once this step is done…it’s time to EXECUTE.  

I believe in you and can’t wait to hear the success stories on how you took this first step in controlling your financial destiny by pursuing your passion, playing to your strengths, and positively impacting others along the way – all while utilizing these 8 steps to becoming the wealthiest version of you! 

Possible book cover?

WHERE ARE MY SALES PEOPLE AT?

Take some advice from my boy 50 Cent

Everyone is in sales.  Whether you are a parent, teacher, preacher, spouse, doctor, lawyer, coach, banker, personal trainer, barber, real estate agent, or in landscaping – everyone is selling.  It could be a concept, new idea, a product, or service…either way, whoever is the most skilled at listening, communicating, influencing, and delivering value – reaps the most rewards – personally and professionally.  Selling to your kids, spouse, friends, co-worker, potential buyers/customers/consumers all takes a specific set of skills.

Being that I make a living as a salesman to support my family (I’ve been in medical sales for over 10 years now), I have recently been doing my best to fine tune my craft.  Let’s face it, no one likes the feeling of being sold anything.  I don’t either.  I try to look at myself as providing value; being more of a consultant than a salesman; a partner in helping someone achieve a goal; and a problem solver.  All of these examples require a great deal of time, experience, and failures. 

For all of you in sales right now (which technically can mean everyone): 

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MASTER YOUR CRAFT?

Most of the books I read are personal development books about mastering your mindset, overcoming adversity, leadership, and creating better habits.  I decided recently to delve deeper into the art of selling.  I’m in the process of going ALL-IN on learning from the best minds and authors in this space.  Being a territory manager and sales trainer, I’m very curious at looking at new strategies to help others and myself improve how impactful our sales calls can be.

I’m going to stop right here and make a confession:

I feel that I am somewhat of a hypocrite.  I preach all day about the importance and power of investing in your personal development, which I have committed to with 100% passion and focus.  I read or listen to at least 4 books a month.  However, as a salesman, I have not made the topic of SELLING a main book genre that I have studied.  I went through sales training with two Fortune 500 companies; I’ve read a few books and articles here and there; but I have not committed to this area enough.  For the next few months I am going to attack selling books, podcasts, YouTube videos, and key thought leaders in this field.  I have devoured three books by Grant Cardone recently (click on his name to go to his website).  I’ll share my findings in my next post.  He has been thought of by several media outlets as the best sales trainer in the world. 

According to Cardone, there are many amateurs in the selling profession.  Who would Cardone call an amateur?  Someone who doesn’t sharpen their ax by learning and applying new ideas in their given field.  Instead, they wake up and keep doing what they’ve always done – not learning new techniques and skills, but relying on what they used to do and have always done.  “If it worked ten years ago, it will work again,” they might say.  This average approach creates average results.

I’m calling myself out right now and need to get better at this.  What about you?  Are you reading up on the latest sales strategies & techniques? 

Would you see a doctor who wasn’t trained and experienced in the latest advances in medicine?  Would you select a financial planner who isn’t growing their knowledge on the stock market and trading daily?  There is no chance you would pick a real estate agent to help you sell your house if they weren’t experts in the current market and up to speed with the latest tools to attract buyers. 

If you are in the sales profession, LET’S GO, and invest in your knowledge, so we can apply new findings and improve our production.

Some great pearls in Conversations that Win the Complex Sale

When you improve your sales, let’s face it, YOU FEEL AWESOME!  You’ll have more confidence and motivation to try new things and stretch your comfort zone.  This is where personal growth happens, which creates ultimate fulfillment.   I offer these three books that I recently read that might help you learn a few new tricks of the trade and help you improve your sales.  Give these books a try to increase your influence (if you don’t like to read…try them in audio book form):  

• Conversations That Win The Complex Sell: Using Power Messaging to Create More Opportunities, Differentiate Your Solutions, and Close More Deals (Thanks Jimmy L)
  • From using props, to storytelling, to drawing out your message on a white board or basic piece of paper, the authors give several unique approaches to differentiate you and your product or service.
• The Challenger Sale: Taking Control of the Customer Conversation (Thanks Mike Ike)  
  • There are 5 different categories of sales people.  Many successful professionals operate in a mix of all, but the Challenger was found to have more success with the complex sell vs. what many managers thought would prevail – the Relationship Builder.  The elite salesman will beat the friend every time.  Here is the list from top to bottom on effectiveness:  
  1. The Challenger
  2. The Lone Wolf
  3. The Hard Worker
  4. The Problem Solver
  5. The Relationship Builder
• Good to Great: Why Some Companies Take the Leap and Others Don’t (Thanks Tony K)
  • This is an oldie but goodie.  The author, Jim Collins, and his research team did a deep dive study into identifying what key leadership factors took average companies to great companies.  This read is perfect for leaders and managers.

Below is a video discussing key findings from the Challenger Sale:

PLEASE RESPOND TO ONE OF MY SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS WITH YOUR FAVORITE BOOK ON SELLING AND LETS HELP EACH OTHER GET BETTER!

In my next post, I’ll share a new approach (inspired by three Grant Cardone books I have read) that will give you a framework to INCREASE YOUR SALES; launch the side project that you have always dreampt about making a full time venture; and for all my entrepreneurs, this system will help take your business to the next level.  I’ll share examples of how I’ve applied this framework with Project Rise.

Thanks and have an AWESOME WEEK!!!

PROJECT RISE PODCAST EPISODE 3: CHARLY MARTIN

LISTEN TO PODCAST HERE

Remember the Monday Night Football game against the Green Bay Packers when at the last second, Seattle Seahawk’s Golden Tate made one of the most famous catches in NFL history? Well, I sat down with the other Seahawk wide-receiver who was in the endzone at the infamous moment – Charly Martin.  His recollection of that iconic play is one for the ages.

Charly was born in Walla Walla, Washington and later moved to Farmington, New Mexico where he completed high school as an excellent all around student-athlete.  Lacking a Division I scholarship though, Charly defied the odds as a record setting All-American at the Division II powerhouse, West Texas A&M.  He offers enlightening insights on what it took to not only make it in the NFL, but to also stay in the league for five years.

In addition, Charly shares what it was like to transition out of the life as a professional athlete, and into a successful career as the Northwest Vice President of Sales at the private aviation company – Wheels Up.

Charly is one of my best friends and I am so proud to call him family.  He is a devoted husband to his lovely wife Courtney, and their studly three year old son, Charles William Martin, V. – Kendra and I are so proud to be Lil C’s Godparents.

Charly and my daughter Bellamy…we totally support arranged marriages.

What inspires me most about Charly is his unwavering vision and belief in himself.  These traits are what makes uncommon people uncommon.  His will to overcome adversity, the ability to push himself beyond his limits, and commitment to excellence are what drive him to succeed.

LISTEN TO PODCAST HERE

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend!

INVEST IN YOU

These signs look familiar?

My life didn’t change until I changed one specific habit. 

Before I share with you what that one habit is, let me give you some context on what drew me to this realization.  It all started over three years ago, when I was working in oncology sales at my previous company.  I was in an account manager role, and it just wasn’t the right fit.  The timing was awful.  Due to some practices overseas, we were slapped with a Corporate Integrity Agreement, which forced us to revisit how our sales force was compensated…as in, no more pay for sales, but in verbal and written tests.  “Someone kill me now and take me out of my misery,” is what I thought on a day to day basis.  This role and compensation model made for many restless nights, my blood pressure was in the high 140’s, and I was taking medication to try to lower that number and my angst.  I wasn’t fulfilling my true potential and thriving at work.  Stressed and looking for ways to get me out of this funk, I tried several things. 

I first thought seeing a counselor would help.  I remember sending one particular counselor an email saying that I needed a “confidence coach,” to help me come up with ways to get me through this season in my life.  She really didn’t understand what I meant by confidence coach.  I must have done a not so good job of articulating what I was going through and needed.  Regardless, I went to see her for a few sessions and really didn’t feel the connection and growth I was looking for.

My next attempt to lower my stress was to take Transcendental Meditation training.  I read all of the benefits that this practice offers and how many celebrities swear by it…at that point, I was looking for anything.  So I ponied up the $750 fee and took the training, which was about 8 sessions in some random tiny house in Kirkland and my instructor must have been pushing 80 years old.  I am a big believer of practicing some type of mindfulness, visualization, and meditation, but this version did not give me the instant gratification I was seeking either.

Feeling stuck and running out of options, my manager sent everyone in our sales team a gift.  This one act if generosity and leadership was the solution I needed.  This one act kick started a movement within my soul.  

This gift was so simple; I had already done it hundreds of times before, but with a different intention and focus.  

This one life changing tactic has so immense power that in ancient times and even in early American history, people in positions of authority outlawed peasants, the lower class, and slaves access to this one skill.  Even to this day, whoever has the most access to this resources and utilizes it’s endless power can acquire healthier relationships, wealth, influence, health, and reaching one’s true potential – all the things I was looking for. 

This one simple act often times gets overlooked, downplayed, and forgotten as a strategy for optimization.  The most successful people in the world know and use this gift daily.  So, what is this gift?  READING A BOOK.

I’ve mentioned this before on my blog, but its worth mentioning again.  The book that my manager gifted was called Positive Intelligence, by Shirzad Chamine.  This one piece of literature gave me the tools to identify and overcome negative thought patterns, as well as help me with strategies to improve my mindset, perspective, and ability to execute.  With this knowledge, I had the confidence and mental focus to leave pharmaceutical sales and crack into the highly competitive medical device industry with a Fortune 500 company and market leader.

Once at my new company, I was assigned a mentor named Frankie, who was all about investing in his personal development.  Frankie was very successful throughout his career – being on stage and winning national awards nearly every year.  I wanted what he had and asked him how I could get there.  His answer was NOT to ask insightful questions, handle objections properly, or to “ABC” (Always Be Closing).  Instead he gave me a list of about 25 books that were game changers for him.  He said, if you read these and apply them, the sky is the limit for you.  After seeing the drastic improvement just one book did for me, I started to clap my hands with excitement, thinking of the impact that reading more books would do!

Simple concept with huge payoffs

I attacked that list like a white blood cell engulfing a foreign particle in our blood stream.  I was ALL IN and with each book consumed, I felt stronger and desired more information.  

I made reading and listening to audiobooks a daily habit.  The results of this practice have manifested many wonderful things in my life that would not have possible if I would have gone back to my original habits of watching movies weekly, binging on Netflix and TV; wasting hours dinking around on my phone; spending every minute in my car listening to music, talk radio, or chatting on the phone.  I instead made it a point to take in as much information as I could. 

Everything we could possibly want or need has already been done, and most likely, someone has written about it.

This one habit of going all in on my personal development has changed everything for me: from being Rookie of the Year, back to back Top Performer Awards, creating a blog, being invited to speak to a variety of audiences, and even completing the contentof my first book (it is in the editing process right now, but I can’t wait to give you guys more insights later)!  All of these accomplishments could not have been possible without making daily reading a non negotiable with myself.  I’m all about non-fiction books…what about you?  

What are you investing in?

The average CEO reads about 4-5 books per month, which is 50-60 per year.  Conversely, 25-30% of Americans read zero books in a year.  The mean number of books the average American reads is 5 (this number is inflated by the small percentage who read much more).  There is no arguing why the most influential and successful people in business and life read in one month what the average person reads in one year.  

According to Lana Winter-Hebert from LifeHacks.org, there are many benefits to reading:

• Improves mental stimulation

• Reduces stress

• Increases knowledge

• Expands your vocabulary

• Improves your memory

• Creates stronger analytical thinking skills
• Improves focus and concentration
• Improves writing skills

As reported in the Huffington Post:

• Bill Gates reads about 50 books per year (one per week)

• Mark Cuban reads more than 3 hours every day

• Elon Musk is an avid reader and when asked how he learned to build rockets, he said, “I read books.”

• Mark Zuckerberg resolved to read a book every 2 weeks throughout 2015

If these icons have enough time to read and make it a priority in their daily lives, we definitely should too.

Marguerite Ward from CNBC Money wrote an eye popping article on what Warren Buffett calls the secret to his success.  Buffett says that he spends about 80 percent of his time each day reading.  He even tries to read up to 500 pages per day!  He says that reading is like compound interest – the earlier and more often you do it, the wealthier you will become!

I usually have one book I’m reading and one I’m listening to in audiobook form at the same time. My goal is to consume and finish 4 books a month.  I just finished the book, TheCircle Maker: Praying Circles Around Your Biggest Dreams and Greatest Fears, by Mark Batterson.  While I was reading that, I’d listen to Angela Duckworth’s book Grit: The Power of Passionand Perseverance in audiobook form (I only have one hour until I’m done!).  I’m now reading Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap…And Others Don’t, by Jim Collins…its a classic!

While I read and listen to my books, I always keep notes and write down the points that speak to me.  Many of my quotes I list on my social media platforms are inspired by something I read or heard.  These artists, authors, researchers, and creators definitely inspire me to innovate, face my fears, and be my best self.  I want you to feel this crazy force of good and inspiration for yourself!

Big things come in small packages…like a book 

HERE ARE MY 6 TIPS TO READ MORE BOOKS:

1. Look at your monthly expenses and budget at least $40-$50 per month on books ($10-15 for a physical book, and about $20 for an audiobook)…trust me, it will be the best investment you will ever make!  If you are a manager…add this into your team’s budget and let your team expense it.  
   • If you don’t have the budget, go to the library, ask your friends to borrow one of their favorites, or check out iTunes and Android apps which offer free books.
   • BookBub offers thousands of free or discounted books…check them out here!
2. Use your phone, iPad, or other devices to download books to read (Kindle, Nook, etc).  This method is usually cheaper than a hard copy and takes up less space!  For e-book device reviews, check out this article.
3. Use iTunes to download audiobooks.  This method has changed everything for me.  When I drive, this is my go-to to pass the time (or Podcasts).  Instead of wasting away to music all day, get your mind right!  I also use this method when I work out at the gym or go on a walk/run…your brain is a muscle too!
4. Pick a consistent time in the day to read.  While getting started, pencil this time into your calendar.  Mornings or evenings are the most common.  I like to read at night when my wife is working in her office or when I jump in bed.  This relaxes my mind and helps me sleep better (two pretty awesome benefits).
   • If you read 15 minutes a day, every day of the year, you’ll read twelve 200 page books in one year!
   • A half hour a day would bring your total up to 24 books a year…remember: learners are earners!
5. Get some friends together and create a book club.  You can do this at work and improve on personal development with members of your team; you can do a book study with a local small group within your church; or you can meet at Starbucks once a month with a few friends and discuss a shared book.  I’ve done all three of these.  When you go in on something together, it makes it more fun and holds you accountable.  Be a leader and set in motion positive change by getting a few people to learn together.
6. Download this app: Blinklist.  This app has a digital library of thousands of books and reproduces them in summary form.  You can listen or read the main points of an entire book in just 10-15 minutes!  All of the best selling books and authors in the world are at your disposal.  There is a small fee, but its worth it.  I get great new book suggestions based on my interests, which I love.  With this app, I have read dozens of books that I’ve always wanted to read, but didn’t have enough time to get to…now with this app…the book world is at my fingertips! 

I definitely do not want to go back to that place where I was before I discovered the power of reading consistently.  

My hope is that you channel this same power and apply it to your life.  Be curious…feed that curiosity with knowledge.  Apply that knowledge and reap the rewards….who knows, if you read enough books, you might be a CEO one day.

Here is my book teaser…below is a list of books I reference in my new book coming soon!  I hope this list will help light a fire inside to be your best self.

Positive Intelligence: Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential AND HOW YOU CAN ACHIEVE YOURS, by Shirzad Chamine

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, by Carol Dweck

Confidence: How to Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs and Achieve Your Goals, by Martin Meadows

The End of Stress: Four Steps to Rewire Your Brain, Don Joseph Goewey

No Excuses!: The Power of Self-Discipline for Success in Your Life, by Brian Tracy

Think and Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill

The 10X Rule: The Only Difference Between Success and Failure, by Grant Cardone

The School of Greatness: A Real-World Guide to Living Bigger, Loving Deeper, and Leaving a Legacy, by Lewis Howes

9 Things Successful People Do Differently, by Heidi Grant Halvorson

Grit: The Power of Passion and Persistence, by Angela Duckworth

18 Minutes: Find Your Focus, Master Distraction, and Get the Right Things Done, by Peter Bregman

The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business, by Charles Duhigg

The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work, by Shawn Achor

The ONE Thing: The Surprisingly Simply Truth Behind Extraordinary Results, by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan

The Energy Bus: 10 Rules to Fuel Your Life, Work, and Team with Positive Energy, by Jon Gordon

The Obstacle is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph, by Ryan Holiday

Successful Advertising. 1885, by Thomas Smith

The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne

StrengthsFinder 2.0, by Tom Rath

Lead Like Jesus: Lessons from the Greatest Leadership Role Model of All Time, by Ken Blanchard and Phil Hodges

The Hidden Gifts of Helping: How the Power of Giving, Compassion, and Hope Can Get Us Through Hard Times, by Stephen G. Post

Ego Is the Enemy, by Ryan Holiday

Tools For Titans: The Tactics, Routines, and Habits of Billionaires, Icons, and World-Class Performers, by Tim Ferriss

The Alchemist: A Fable About Following Your Dream, by Paulo Coelho

Make the Bigtime Where You Are, by Frosty Westering

PROJECT RISE PODCAST EPISODE 2: MIKE ISAACSON

Holdin’ it down in Mike’s beautiful Kirkland home and office

Project Rise Podcast Episode 2’s guest is Mike Isaacson.  Mike is a Wenatchee boy who now lives in Kirkland with his wife, Jodi, and two beautiful girls, Quinn and Eva.

I first met Mike the summer after high school during the week of the Washington State East-West All-State football game.  We then became teammates at Washington State University.  Mike’s outgoing personality, sincere curiosity, and passion for peak performance made the perfect formula for us to connect and be great friends for many years.

Why you should listen?

To say Mike is crushing it would be an understatement.  After being a successful sales rep for several years in the highly competitive spine medical device industry, Mike was promoted to a District Manager at Medtronic at the age of 29, and now is an area Vice President at Ortho Kinematics.

On paper, Mike has all the measurables of success – he has the houses, the cars, and the financial freedom that come with high achievement – but, what I’m most impressed with is his work ethic, passion to serve others, and how he is as a loving husband, father, and devoted friend.  I truly love this guy and I want you to enjoy some of the things that Mike has taught me over our 18 years of friendship.

In this episode, Mike tells powerful stories of overcoming adversity, leadership, investing in your personal development, and examples of being a young entrepreneur.

Take a listen and if you enjoy this episode, share it with a friend.  Thank you!

Listen to the podcast here.

GET BETTER WITH GRIT

Last Wednesday night while coaching football, I decided to show the high school kids a thing or two.  We reached the end of practice and we were finishing the session up with some competition – a little one-on-one drill.  It’s pretty simple, the receivers try to get open by using the technique and tricks that I taught them during their individual session, and the defensive backs are tasked to lock them down.

Our defensive backs coach, Jeffery Solomon (aka, Solo), played for WSU and also in the Arena League for several years.  He is a beast, still under 30 years old, and could strap up and be an impact player at most D-I programs right now.  It’s pretty awesome when your coach can dominate you…in the end, kids do what you do, not what you say.  Well, Solo jumped into the one-on-one drills and was balling on these young guys.  Watching this, I got the itch to get in on the competition and dust the old white boy receiver skills off and show them how it’s done.

Solo making plays vs. UCLA

In my mind I envisioned myself being like Julian Edleman carving up the Atlanta Falcon’s defense in the Super Bowl.  After all, I once was a 4-year starter in the Pac-10 (now Pac-12), “I can take these high school kids,” I thought, “I got dang near 20 years of experience on these guys, I got this!”  I didn’t have any cleats…no big deal.  No receiver gloves, no problem!  The fact that I had the Norovirus the weekend before didn’t even hold me back either (no food for several days…no biggie!).

My first rep didn’t go so well.  I guess I’m not as strong as I used to be.  The second rep, I dropped the ball over the middle…where did my “sure hands” go?  The third rep, the ball got tipped away at the last minute.  I kept jumping in expecting a different result, but instead of being Edleman, I was more like Pee-Wee Herman.  I only caught 3 balls out of 10…are you kidding me?!!  That’s it…only 3 balls?…that’s a 70% failure rate!

When we finished, I walked to my car, pulled my hood over my head and zipped up my jacket feeling the cold winter wind chill rush all over me.  I don’t know what stung worst, the cold, or my lack luster performance.  My legs were wobbly and my ego definitely dropped a few notches.  This type of performance could have put me into official retirement, but this time around, being much older and wiser, I’m approaching this situation differently than when I was my younger immature self.

As I pulled into the driveway when I got home, I had already made the decision to give that drill another try.  I envisioned what cleats and gloves I was going to wear, and even visualized a few routes that I know will work.  I walked into my house excited for the next time.  I knew that my credibility as a coach and an athlete were not defined by that one failure.  I didn’t win that day, but I knew that the next time would be better and that I could learn and grow from that experience to attack the next competition with excitement and gratitude.

It’s taken me 36 years to have that kind of a mindset.  When I was a student-athlete or even in the professional world of medical sales, I had the opposite mindset.  I felt like I constantly had to “prove” myself, which ended up hindering my performance…with each move or step, I would constantly evaluate myself and picture what others thought of me.  I was constantly comparing.  This mental approach no doubt hindered my ability to compete at peak performance.  For many, past failures exacerbate fears of feature failure.  This cycle creates self doubt and often times anxiety.

These internal fears and anxiety lead people to give up, quit, or avoid being put into similar situations again.  Thus, their true potential is never fully actualized.

Performance anxiety is a real thing, and for some reason, 
NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT IT.  

Here are some alarming stats:

• 32% of teens suffer from some form of anxiety – National Institute of Health
• 85% of collegiate athletic trainers report that anxiety hinders their student-athlete’s ability to perform at their best. – NCAA.org
• 40 million American adults (18.1%) suffer from anxiety. – National Institute of Mental Health 

These are just reported cases covering a broad spectrum.  There just isn’t much data on evaluating specific areas and ways to not only cope, but to discuss and find strategies to improve self limiting beliefs as a collective group.

Whether it is being super stressed before taking a test, feeling like a nervous wreck when your supervisor is evaluating you, or feeling anxious before a big game or presentation, we need to acknowledge that being nervous, stressed, and anxious is a natural human emotion that needs to be better addressed.

According to Dr. Heidi Grant, performance psychologist at Columbia University, the brain can hold 5 to 7 thoughts or ideas at one time.  When the brain is in a state of anxiety, it can only hold 2 to 3 concepts.  When we are operating in an anxious state and constantly trying to “prove” ourself, we are living in what Grant calls a “Be Good” mindset.  Individuals with a “Be Good” mindset avoid failure, constantly compare, and seek validation in performance only.  They have the idea that they have to “be good” at something in order to be a good person.  This mindset is definitely part of the anxiety problem.

Does this sound familiar to you or anybody you know, lead, or coach?

While at our national sales meeting in Miami a few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of listening to Dr. Grant lecture in person on this topic.  My pen and note taking skills were working overtime!  I was soaking in her insights and felt like she was talking about me and my former self.

The goal, she says is to have a “Get Better” mindset (Stanford’s Dr. Carol Dweck calls it a “Growth” mindset, which if you have followed this blog, you have heard me mention this before).  Instead of focusing on PROVING yourself, try to focus on IMPROVING yourself.  We all are a work in progress and no one is perfect.  Fear of failure is the enemy to creativity and performing at your best…no matter the area…work, socially, athletically, etc.  When your thought process is all about PROGRESS not PERFECTION, what happens is powerful, you will start to perform better.

The best operate with this philosophy…they are not defined by their failure.  What do you think Tom Brady was thinking after he threw that pick 6 and was down 25 points in the 3rd quarter of the Super Bowl?  The reason why he is the GOAT (Greatest Of All Time) is that he learns from his mistakes; he uses them to grow; and he expects the best is yet to come.  Other people’s opinion’s don’t matter, just his own and those in his locker room.  Brady fails, thus he succeeds  He succeeds, because he fails.

The Patriots are the personification of PASSION meets PERSEVERANCE.

Most of the entire New England Patriot’s roster is full of rejects, misfits, and “failures” who are filled with GRIT.  Someone needs to do a deep study on their model because 7 Super Bowls and 5 rings tells me that Belichick and Brady have this “Get Better” Mindset down to a science.  This example should give you hope that if at first you don’t succeed, keep grinding, keep pushing, keep competing, and your day will come…

You are not defined by your failure, but how you react and grow from it!

Newly hired Minnesota Gopher Football Coach, PJ Fleck, has mentioned multiple times that he recruits kids that have failed.  He looks for coaches who have failed.  He focuses his whole program around surrounding himself, his staff, and players with individuals who have failed and have GRIT – passion and perseverance.  Talent does not beat skill.  Talent might pass the eye test and win early, but skill is something that is developed over time.  With an insane work ethic, and a thirst to win the war, not just the battle, you will improve your Grit, thus improve your likelihood to achieve your long term goals.

The Mount Rushmore of Performance Psychologists and my favorites…read their books! 

Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverence, by Angela Duckworth
9 Things Successful People Do Differently, by Heidi Grant
Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, by Carol Dweck

Penn’s Angela Duckworth, studied and wrote a book about Grit and the power of passion and perseverance.  Many prominent leaders in business and sports are trying to tap in this new science of understanding grit and how to identify it and coach it.  Seahawks head coach Pete Carroll has even brought Duckworth into to speak to his team to change their lens on failure and persevering.

Grant, Duckworth, and Dweck agree…find individuals that have grit, and you’ll build a winning culture and team.  This mindset retools how we look at failure.

The statement, “I’m not good,” should not be in your vocabulary.  Instead, you should say, “I’m not there yet.”  

This philosophy will help lower some of that anxiety.  The threat of a loss will soon lose its crippling power.  When you approach competition and life with a “Get Better” or “Growth” mindset, this approach turns failure into a stepping stone for improvement, instead of being a road block.

Here are some tips to lower anxiety and improve performance with a healthy mindset:
Leaders, Teachers, Coaches, and Parents:

• Reward the right thing: effort, unselfishness, and perseverance instead of outcomes only
• Institute the 5-Minute Rule…before any coaching, teaching, or feedback takes place; check in with others on a human level for 5 minutes.  Let them feel that you value them as a person, not just as a cog in the big machine that serves you 
• When giving feedback, make it more process driven versus result driven (for example a player misses a shot, instead of saying, “Make the shot!” Say, “Balance your feet first, then shoot!  You got this!”)

Individuals in Non Supervisor, Manager, or Coaching roles:

• Develop daily routines – mentally and physically – create your “process”
• Have multiple level goals all funneling into the same BIG end goal (this will keep you on your path)
• View yourself as a “work in progress,” Rome wasn’t built in a day and nor are you
• Seek self-love outside of one area of your life (you are more than just a sales rep, an athlete, insurance agent, car salesman etc.)
• Know that you are not perfect (no one is) and use failure to build your knowledge and skill sets

If you take the advice above, you’ll be well on your way to being the best version of you. 

I can’t wait to apply these tactics next week at my wide receiver’s practice.  With my “Get Better” mindset and going all-in on believing and demonstrating GRIT, I’m confident my walk back to my car after a session of competing in one-one-one drills, I’ll have my chest out; I’ll be walking with swag feeling the wind at my back (healthy mindset) instead of it pushing me back (unhealthy mindset).  I’ll keep you posted!  In the meantime, check out this 6 minute video of Dr. Duckworth talking about GRIT.

PROJECT RISE PODCAST EPISODE 1: BRIAN HOPPER

B. Hop and I in his amazing Kirkland office

This has been a long time coming.  I’ve wanted to do a podcast for a while now and I’m pumped to finally have completed my first one!  The premise of the show is to interview ORDINARY PEOPLE DOING EXTRAORDINARY THINGS.  I want to learn the strategies, patterns, and habits of people who might not be making the headlines, but are thriving and making  a difference for others.  I have a list of people that I’m excited to share their stories with you.

Because for me…I get more motivation when someone I know, went to school with, or is from my community is dominating…personally and professionally.  That pushes me and gives me the confidence to say, “I can do it too!”  I hope this show will do that for you as well.

Let me say that this is a learning experience and I definitely have a ways to go until this show is racking up listeners on iTunes, but I’ve shifted my mindset away from perfection and making my creative outlets (blog, videos, and now podcasts) all about connection.

SEEK CONNECTION NOT PERFECTION

In everything you do.

Is my mic the best? No.  Do I have a perfect interview style?  No.  Is my editing off the charts good?  No.  BUT SO WHAT!  It’s all about content and I’ll get better in all of those areas over time.

With that said…I’m excited to introduce you to my first guest on the Project Rise Podcast…Brian Hopper (or B. Hop as I like to call him).  Brain and his wife Nicole founded Hopper Group Real Estate several years ago (check their link out HERE).  To say that Brian and his team are CRUSHING it would be an understatement.  Their personalized, all about the small things, and detailed approach have separated their services from the pack and into a whole new level of buying and selling dream homes for people.

Brian’s story will give you the push you might need to finally take the steps necessary to finally pursue your passion.  He also gives great wisdom on finding balance in your life aside from the daily hustle of being a successful entrepreneur.  Take a listen and share it with a friend.  I hope you enjoy and MAKE TODAY THE DAY, WHERE YOU BECOME THE BEST VERSION OF YOU!

Project Rise Podcast link HERE.

PROJECT RISE SPOTLIGHT: DABO SWINNEY

“We won because of LOVE!”

-Dabo Sweeney

Project Rise SPOTLIGHT: Dabo Swinney

What if you made the emotion of LOVE a competitive advantage?  Well, that is what the leader of the Clemson Tiger’s and 2017 National Champions did.  As a young boy, Dabo Swinney received his name from his brother who while trying to say “Dat boy,” created “Dabo.”  Coach Swinney is a breathe of fresh air and has modeled a leadership style and culture within his program that has drawn me into studying his methodology.

Dabo and I have two things in common: 1. We both share the middle name Christopher (his birth first name is William), and 2. We both have the same word of the year (I had no idea about this until his post game speech with Sam Ponder that rocked me): LOVE.

With not much time on the clock and trailing Alabama, Dabo gave some bone chilling advice on how to be clutch:

“Let the light inside you shine brighter than the light that’s on you.”

Many leaders and coaches believe they need to motivate by fear.  I believe that discipline, hard work, and accountability are definitely needed – but what if we switch up the phrase “tough love” and instead “love tough?”  Dabo has modeled that his entire career.

There is a reason why Dabo is one of the top recruiters in the nation: LOVE for people.

There is a reason he walked on at Alabama and earned a scholarship: LOVE to compete.

There is a reason that after taking a few years off of coaching to sell real estate, he didn’t give up his dream of being a head coach: LOVE of the game.

There is a reason he has won Coach of the Year in the ACC and Nationally: LOVE to lead.

Here are my 4 Pillars of Being a LOVING Leader and creating a winning team culture…inspired by Dabo:

1. Energy – loving energy is contagious.
2. Vulnerability – take ego out of the equation and big things will happen.
3. Sacrifice – imagine how far we can go if no one cares who gets the credit?
4. Trust – we are stronger together – do your job and trust your teammate will do theirs.

How can you incorporate more LOVE into your home, workplace, or team?  Love is the most powerful emotion one can feel and give to others.  Like Dabo displayed, love might be the missing link to creating the environment or outcomes you have been looking for. 

Because in the end, love is as much a choice, as it is a feeling. 

If you didn’t see Dabo’s post game interview moments after winning the National Championship vs. his alma mater Alabama on the final drive…it’s one for the ages and a must see.  Oh, and one final thing…I LOVE you guys!